Savior Gaming

Slither 2nd opinion (2006)

Oh slither, Torsten showed me this movie a long time ago with the claim of ” hey you will love this horror movie.” In his defense he was right, it quickly became one of our favorite movies. The story is pretty basic stuff, alien life form shows up, takes control of people, people die. You all know the drill. Its how it is done that makes the movie great. The movie knows what it is, I wouldn’t say it is self aware, for example you won’t see any breaking the 4th wall moments. But it is aware it isn’t a AAA blockbuster and it does not try to be.

My favorite example of this would be early in the movie the first guy infected has what appears to be a rash and uses the excuse of poison ivy. Much later in the movie two twin girls actually say in unison “we’re itchy” in a subtle but nice reference once you start to find the life form has a sort of connected hive mentality. @torstenvblog and I actually have a small other reason for doing this movie today, the greatest love song of all time. Enjoy it below, best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Slither

slither

Happy Valentines Day everyone. So to celebrate the day, let’s talk about an amazingly underrated horror comedy from James Gunn, future directer of Guardians of the Galaxy (2014) and Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017) . Also, it’s pretty much Savior and I’s bromance movie.

Slither is the story of a small town being invaded by alien worms from a alien planet. Grant Grant, about to cheat on his hot wife, found a meteor crashed in the woods and like every drunk ass dude with raging whiskey dick decides “hey, I gotta poke this thing”. A needle pops out and stabs Grant as something passes into him. Grant suddenly has an obscene craving for raw meat and has tentacles coming out of belly buttons. His poor hot southern wife Starla, thinks Grant is having an affair only to get dragged into the terrible truth- Grant is mutating into a squid monster thing. She teams up with her old beau, the town sheriff and his posse who find Grant’s enlarged, impregnated mistress who explodes into thousands of worms that take over the town…

Slither is a strange but wonderfully awesome. I love the characters, especially the mayor. The monsters are cool but reminiscent of older horror films which is a cool throwback. I get why many wouldn’t like this movie and I’d definitely would say it’s a cult classic; no joke, the only reason I happen to have it is it’s on a $10 four pack I got from Wal-Mart. I hope more people look into this movie and it has a reemergence in the future and more people discover it. So to end my review, I recommend it, and I’m ending this with my favorite end credit song, and the song I literally listened to moments after breaking up with my ex-girlfriend. Be safe and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Crazy Taxi (Sega Forever)

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Crazy Taxi is one of those games I played as a kid and finally got around to trying out the Sega Forever version. I won’t lie, I was worried about this one. Graphically it is one of the more impressive games they released and the sound is also higher end of the stuff they have given out. So how does it hold up?

Well honestly it holds up pretty damn well. Graphically my G6 played it very well and the sound played beautifully. Both of these things actually surprised me but not as well as the actual controls worked themselves. I was expecting this to be the worst in the series of Sega Forever games so far but in fact it functioned the best, so if you are a fan of Crazy Taxi give this one a shot. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Planet Terror

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Robert Rodriguez is the only man I know who can write a scene where a badass guns down pus riddled zombies while popping a wheelie on a pocket bike. Seriously, this movie is hardcore WTF but it is one of my all time favorites.

Cherry Darling is a spunky, sarcastic stripper- I mean go-go dancer- who wants out of her crappy life. After encountering her lost love El Rey at a truck stop and on a ride with him on a dark. misty night, they crash and Cherry is yanked from the car. And her leg is bitten clean off. El Rey shoots the sickos with a gun he ain’t supposed to have and they take off. This small Texas town is having small problems when these sicko zombies are running amok and the infected soldiers are quarantining the town, and the hope for a eclectic survivors is a stripper with a machine gun leg…

I love this movie with all my heart from the mock “Machete” trailer in the beginning that years later would become real, to the final reels of the film. The characters are all great and memorable, whether it’s Cherry and her sour sarcasm, the Josh Brolin as a vengeful doctor catching his wife in a lesbian affair, or a chemical engineer/ druglord that has a unhealthy obsession with collecting testicles (no that is not a typo, I did mean this dude collects testicles) as well as great and WTF cameos like Fergie, Bruce Willis, and even Quentin Tarantino. The score is a lively jazz inspired that brings a welcome Cowboy Bebop flavor I really enjoyed. Don’t watch this if you can’t handle pretty extreme gore and disembodied testicles (it’s my Birthday today so pardon the frequent use of the word testicles). If you want a really cool WTF kind of movie with a lot of heart and gore, absolutely check this out. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Ritual (2018)

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The Ritual is a very odd movie. I don’t mean that as a bad thing. The movie starts out with a group of friends in Europe planning a guys weekend. Arguing about hiking and drinking and where to do it. But its time to go to the shop and buy some booze. They sadly pick the wrong store and some drug addicts packing a machete decide to rob the place. One friend is unseen and stays hidden, while the other gets brutally murdered trying to defend his wedding ring.

Later on they decide to honor their friend by going hiking, having a couple drinks and just remembering their friend in the way he would have liked. Its a nice thought, one that he actually would have loved. This is where the movie takes its odd turn, first they don’t hike anywhere near as far as they thought. Turns out they can still see the cabin they left from in fact. No big deal tho, in the morning they will head back. Or it would be if somehow they didn’t get lost.

This is where things get weird. while lost they find a dead body nailed to a tree, and yes this becomes important later. After traveling all day a storm hits and they find a cabin, a cabin they didn’t see earlier. There is some weird stuff in this cabin they spend the night in. As you can imagine it isn’t long before people in the group start dying and the last two end up in a village that worships an ancient god that kind of looks like a massive skeleton deer with hands near its mouth. The movie is interesting and while not great is a fun watch and I would suggest checking it out. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Star Fox 64

Nothing brings me back to the magic video games can bring than Star Fox 64. In the Lylat System, a far away system of anthropomorphic animals, a evil scientist named Andross is trying to take control after being banished to planet Venom. Years ago the original Star Fox team: James McCloud, Peppy Hare, and Pigma Dangar went to investigate disturbances from the planet only to be caught in a trap. Pigma betrayed them, and Peppy narrowly escaped, leaving James in Andross’s hands. It’s up to Fox and Peppy with new crew members Falco Lambardi and Slippy Toad to save the Lylat system and destroy Andross.

This underappreciated N64 gem stole my heart as a kid with it’s epic level designs, smooth flying I still haven’t felt replicated to this day. What blew my mind then was how you could forge you’re own path across the system by beating hidden objectives on stages and unlocking passage to harder worlds. Though seven stages to finish the games, there are a crap load of outcomes, including two totally different final battles (the hardest and true ending providing some damn good nightmare fuel at that too). The bosses are fun and many are pretty tricky and the unrelenting hordes of cannon fodder never gets old. If you’re older, there’s plenty of either messed up or funny things you will catch like Peppy constantly rubbing how your father is dead in your face or Slippy trying to talk trash. It’s one hell of a fun time and I give it my highest recommendations. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Happy Birthday Torsten

Today our good friend Tors gets a year older,and for those wondering yes he was born on a Friday the 13th which may explain his love of horror movies. Or not, who knows. Either way to the best friend a guy could ask for, Happy Birthday bro. Sadly like most of he must work today which made me laugh, mostly because I spent an hour hunting down a small tree climbing rodant in his house that didn’t exist yesterday. Best wishes bro, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Resident (2012)

the resident

Being a guy I probably miss how scary this movie truly is, but it is creepy as hell none the less. Imagine moving into a new house and meeting a new landlord, nice guy by the way. Doing a lot of nice work. When suddenly weird things start happening. You start sleeping through alarms for example and you just have this eerie feeling of being watched constantly and just a general bad time. That is what this movie is about.

The movie isn’t great, its average at best and at times is very convoluted but the concept is good. Hillary Swank and Negan, I mean Jeffrey Dean Morgan, play their parts well but there is only so much you can do with what they were given. Still the movie is worth giving a watch if you have the time, but be aware the movie has some very trigger inducing moments that sensitive people may not want to see. They certainly do not shy away from the subject matter which honestly I do appreciate. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Cloverfield Paradox (2018)

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After watching the Super Bowl and recovering from celebrating the Eagles winning I decided to check this movie out. I will say this, its a fun watch. Don’t think about it. At all. Don’t think about the science involved, because the writers did not. Don’t think overly much about the plot to much either, it won’t be hard to find holes. Just accept it for what it is. Also do not expect this to be some scary horror movie, its pretty much a comedy with a couple semi creepy bits.

With all that out of the way, the movie is still pretty fun to watch. After being sent up on a space station to fire a sort of high powered particle accelerator into space in order to get an unlimited supply of energy ( don’t think about this) they end up in an alternate dimension and discover an Earth during a massive war ( again don’t think about this).

The movie is a fun little Netflix exclusive, but if it were released in theaters I am pretty sure it would have bombed to be honest. As it is, grab a snack and enjoy it. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Night of the Living Dead Resurrection (2012)

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Every so often someone decides to make a movie call it Night of the Living something in either an attempt to make a quick buck or as some sort of indy film. Now as many of you know, I love indy stuff. For example Preacher Six Preview is an indy film or Game Preview: Fell Seal: Arbiter’s Mark is an indy game that looks great.

But every so often there is something like Night of the Living Dead Resurrection. I don’t swear much on my blog but seriously, fuck this movie and fuck me for being dumb enough to sit through the whole thing. If someone ever says hey Savior how do you NOT make a horror movie, I no longer have to speak. I would just show them this movie. I won’t go so far as to say this is the worst horror movie I have ever seen, but I will so it is without a doubt in the running.

Before we get to this dumpster fire of a story, let me say the visuals will make it perfectly clear this is a very low budget indy film. And not in that fun way Romero did things, in that some guy that things he is cool making a movie but ran to best buy and bought a camera does things. Thankfully the special effects person knew what they were doing because that at least looked good enough to make me not want to rip my eyes out.

The story. Well first I encourage you not to watch the movie. Read this, and if it sounds like something you want to watch because it sounds good I am sincerely sorry, it was an accident. If it is out of morbid curiosity I encourage you to bring a friend and some booze. The main character for the first about 10 minutes is a black guy driving down the road listening to the radio. That is all he does. He will then call Barbara and tell her he is coming to get her. Ha Ha. Very clever. He will then drop his phone to show his screens background appears to be the poster from the original Night of the Living Dead. So there is our required nods to Romero. a few minutes later he will get to a farm house and be shot in the face.

Then much of the movie is people talking. Mom and dad, a girl and her husband and that girls sister. Who by the way the husband is nailing on the side. Dad will then at one point leave, mom will find out hubby is nailing both daughters after the wife dies in childbirth. Yes by the way there is a like 3 minute scene where he approaches a blanket to discover a zombie baby that you will never ever see. The movie has pretty much nothing in common with the original, even the ending the original did so well this went for a shock value ending. A militia type group shows up, shoots mom in the head because she was bit and the sister that the now dead husband was nailing gets tossed in the “rape trailer” amd the movie ends with her having a terrified/shocked look on her face and it freezes there. So even the ending isn’t original. Seriously, don’t watch this piece of garbage. Ever. Best wises, and may the gaming gods have mercy on the souls of the people that made this movie.