The Dark Tower

dark tower movie

I finally got to sit down not long ago and watch it finally. I was cautious Sony was going to crap on it. I was mostly right…

Separate from the books, the movie is a new tale. Walter, a inter-dimensional wizard is kidnapping people from our world with the gift of the “Shine” to power a device to destroy the Dark Tower at the center of the universe and is basically existence itself. He is being ruthlessly hunted by Roland, the last Gunslinger, who is out for revenge for the deaths of his father and friends. Walter’s experiments are effective but not to the magnitude he desires, until his Taheen forces (creepy ass animal people that wear human skin) track down a kid named Jake Chambers that has a huge “Shine”. Jake, having visions of crazy shit like a Gunslinger and a Man in Black and a long Dark Tower, tries to find it before Walter can shatter the last beam…

As a writer, I get how adapting this would be like trying to play Dark Souls with your dong. There is a epic ass load of exposition which makes the movie feel longer than it really is, and kind of slow. I think the actors did the best with what they were give; I believe Matthew Mcconaughey would have been spot on if given a R rated script. Seriously, who’s bright idea was it to make this movie PG-13? As for action, there isn’t much but I can definitely say the finale is pretty badass. A huge peeve I had was you can tell this was the first movie of a cinematic universe, but a lot of the Easter eggs were pretty cool all the same. Overall, my feelings on the movie are kinda meh. Wasn’t great, wasn’t shit. I’d say it’s worth a Red Box trip or stream but I can’t really recommend owning it at full price, maybe Wal-mart crap bin price at max. Long days and pleasant nights.

Beyond Oasis

Sega Forever strikes again with another classic for the Sega Genesis in Beyond Oasis. Once again this is a pretty faithful recreation. The controls work as well on the touch screen of a cell phone as well as it ever did on the Sega controller.

Graphically the game looks good and I didn’t hit any issues with slow downs or lag or anything like that. The sound also sounded good. If you enjoyed the original and want to play again now is the chance. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Robocop

robocop

Remember when action movies weren’t for kids and full of bad language, blood, drugs, and boobs? Well, Robocop helped me remember.

In a near future Detroit full of crime and corruption, new guy on the force Alex Murphy is gunned down by a gang of drug lords led by Clarence Bodiker. Ok, gunned down is an understatement, he gets ripped to shreds by gunfire to the brink of absurdity. Somehow his brain isn’t dead and he is enlisted into a new robotics program that turns him Robocop, a gun totting, one lining badass looking for justice while fighting his programming, and searching for his humanity while taking down the evil corporation that built him..

I love this crazy ass movie. All the over the top gore, one liners, random boobs and drugs in this is just great 80’s action movie greatness. I thought the action scenes were sweet and the effects hold up fairly well; ED-209 has moments where he looks pretty off but for the time I can excuse it. Kurtwood Smith as Bodiker is great, one of those actors that’s just great wherever he is. Definitely watch it, if you love 80’s action movies or you’re sick of modern shit, this will make you feel like a kid again. I’ll buy that for a dollar.

WWE 2K18

WWE 2k18. Have to be honest, been a very long time since I bought a wrestling game. I played WWE 2K17 for the Xbox on a free play weekend and I have to say. It was brutal. The game was not good. I hated the reversal system, it wasn’t very responsive at all. In fact I almost did not buy 2K18. Some friends said it was trash some said it was great. I basically flipped a coin and picked it up on sale for the PSN sale.

I have to say the controls are a huge improvement over last years. The reversal system is far easier to use and more responsive. They aren’t exactly easy by the way, it will take some time to master or even truly get the hang of it.

Graphically the game looks good, best looking wrestling game I personally have ever played. That being said it is far from being a modern marvel. Its simply an average looking game. There are also some minor glitches where characters pick people up but aren’t quite touching people and things of that nature.

Another thing that many modern gamers may hate is it seems like almost everything is locked from the start. Most moves, around 80 characters, entrances hell even the advance entrances are locked for my career mode. You have to buy what the game calls loot crates to unlock them. This is done with in game currency earned simply by playing the game and is earned in every game mode as far as I can tell. Its a throw back to the old days when you were rewarded for playing a game and not having a fat wallet.

Now as I said earlier, I don’t buy wrestling games often, so many of these things are new to completely new to me. For example walking around the locker room my friends character is just hanging out sitting on a a crate. Another friend was standing next to a wall after I won the NXT title. I didn’t even know this was a thing but apparently its not new. I think many of the flaws were lost on me since so many of these things were new for me. So coming from a guy returning to the WWE gaming universe after a very long hiatus, now is a good time to return. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you greatness.

5 stories I’d love to see for a solo DCEU Batman movie

batman symbol 2017

Anyone else getting tired of the same old Batman films? If I have to watch Thomas and Martha Wayne get shot again I’m going to scream! In BVS and JLA we got Easter eggs for things that have happened to Batman in the DCEU, so here’s a quick list of Batman tales I’d love to see brought to life in the DCEU with no particular order, starting with:

new 52 batman 1

1. Court of Owls/ Night of the Owls- essentially Batman wrapped up in a tale of suspense and mystery as he discovers the true driving force of Gotham, the Court of Owls and there deadly assassins, the Talons stop at nothing to reclaim Gotham from the dark knight. It’d make a great thriller with bad ass fights and great secrets throughout.

arkham asylum book

2. Arkham Asylum- since the DCEU is pretty damn rushed as it is, a cool way to introduce a lot of the villains through the tale of Batman trying to survive a night in the infamous madhouse. Featuring such great villains as Two-Face, Mad Hatter, Scarecrow, Joker and Killer Croc it’d definitely would make for a cool tale.

riddler 3. A Riddler movie- Some of my favorite episodes of Batman the animated series and the show The Batman were the detective stories of Batman tracking down Riddler, I think being a welcomed change of pace from what we’ve gotten in recent years. I mean, imagine Seven with Batman answering riddles instead of observing the sins.

under the red hood

4. Under the Red Hood- BVS teased the shit out of this with the broken Robin suit tagged in Joker graffiti, so why the hell not follow through with it? Let Batman see the dark reflection of himself through the son he believed tested, see him pushed to the brink of sanity again and have to pull himself back again. Also, it wouldn’t be a bad way to introduce Nightwing and Mr. Freeze into the DCEU.

batman hush

5. Hush- another good tale for a R rated audience featuring a great who done it mystery, lots of great bad guys, and even a rematch with Superman, which I think we could all use.

Best of wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

 

 

Coffee Town

I randomly came across coffee down with my girlfriend about 2 two weeks ago and for probably the first time very legit said this looks stupid and refused to watch it with me. Then I kept forgetting to watch it when I had time. Finally I had time to do so and honestly I wish I did it sooner.

The movie was surprisingly good and even deep. The story is about a guy that works from home and uses the local coffee show names Coffee Town as his office. His friends come to visit him at his “office” ,one works across the street and the other is quite possibly the worst cop to ever exist.

When the shop is being considered for renovation into a bistro that would also serve alcohol the friends try to stop this by staging a fake robbery to save their hang out. What follows is an amusing story of love and loss that also covers some controversial and even philosophical subject matter.

I won’t spoil it for you but the movie is worth checking out, best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Aquaman (new 52, volume 5) sea of storms

aquaman v5

My good friend Autobot was kind enough to loan me some Aquaman comics before Justice League came out, so thanks man.

We begin our stories with Arthur Curry dealing with his rule of the oceans and trying to protect those land. People are weary of him on the surface after Orm, the Ocean Master, nearly brought a massive flood on them. In Atlantis, people aren’t trusting him because he still tries to help the surface dwellers, who damn near kill themselves by accidentally uncovering a titanic Atlantean beast that causes further devastation on land, nearly kills Aquaman, and sours the favor of the Atlanteans even further because it was an ancient protector meant to serve the reigning king, not try to murder it. Arthur couldn’t stop it. A idiot named Daniels, who has been pursuing Arthur finds his trident and accidentally sets free a race of Giant-borns from a makeshift hell created by a past Atlantean king, which forces him to fight a crazed Hercules and team up with Wonder Woman to finish this, all while stressing over his high school reunion. While Mera is hunting some failed assassins who tried taking her life, Aquaman finds himself face to face with the fabled Swamp Thing in our last story.

Essentially the book is three stories in one and that was really cool. Of the three, the last was my favorite just because it was cool to see Swamp Thing kick his ass. Something I have to say for the series itself, the artwork always catches my eye and makes me take in the details and colors. There are a lot of great, epic fights and I was glad to get time with Wonder Woman and Swamp Thing, who neither I’ve experienced much. Overall, it’s a fun book to pick up in sections and definitely gorgeous to look at. Best wishes all, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Elite Dangerous, Sol And Aliens

That picture? That is Mercury in Elite Dangerous. After hours of grinding Federation Ranks I now have the required permit to go there. And all i got was some photos and a silly trophy. I also swung by Venus

I may go back for the rest at some point but not quite yet, because now i have decided to go find some Thargoids. Well to try. I grabbed my ship, flew over to the Pleiades Nebula to start looking..have not found any yet, but when I do I will be sure to snap a picture. Wish me luck, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Jason X

jason x

So through the years we’ve seen Jason in different outfits, as a zombie fighting a psychic chick, walking around the Big Apple, as a ghost, and even fighting Freddy Kruger. So what could possibly be next? I know, how about outer space?

So Jason X begins in the near future at a government installation where Jason is being held because he just won’t die. They plan on cryo freezing him until they know how to execute him. Jason somehow manages to escape and the only survivor is a scientist named Rowan who manages to freeze Jason, but not without getting caught in the process too. Hundreds of years later they are found, brought aboard a science vessel and reanimated. As you expect, Jason is a tad bit cranky…

Despite how idiotic the premise is, I really do enjoy the movie. Though not tense or scary, the special effects are actually pretty good and Jason does have some really sweet kills in here. Of course there were moments that made me laugh too. There is a twist at the end where Jason is transformed into a half metal cyborg, commonly referred to as “Meta Jason” or “Jason X” which was really cool. None of the characters really annoyed me like they tended to do in the previous sequels. Overall, it was a fine movie that tried getting away with the ultimate gimmick of SPACE and won in my opinion. Best wishes everyone and may the gaming gods bring you glory.