Tag: Movie Review

In The Army Now (1994)

This movie has a special place in my heart, not only because Pauly Shore makes me laugh (and no I can’t explain why) but I did my basic and AIT at Fort Sill Oklahoma where parts of this movie were filmed. Was pretty cool to see the places the movie was filmed. Anyway on to why you are here.

The movie is about two losers that join the Army reserves because they really don’t have much choice after they lose their job. They also have no clue what they are signing up for. Besides Paul knows a pool boy, how hard can it be?

Turns out in a time of war in a desert country such as Chad,a water purification unit is highly likely to be called to active duty.

So these two idiots and their new friends from basic, G.I. Jane and G.I. dentist are off to the desert to clean some water and piss off some special forces.

I won’t spoil the story to much for you, the movie is honestly just some cheap laughs like most of Shore’s movies with a story that is decent but hardly anything spectacular. If you like comedies its worth a watch but most people should probably skip it. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Guess Who (2005)

I picked this movie on a whim honestly and I must say, I forgot how much I missed Bernie Mac. The man played the perfect combination of funny and serious. And this movie has two very powerful messages to me. 1. That even in today’s world interracial couples face adversity from all sides (and they should not) and 2. Even a serious topic can be covered in a manner that can entertain and inform, and Ashton and Bernie knock this out of the park.

For those that somehow don’t know Bernie Mac plays a very successful black man. Great job, big house, beautiful family. His daughter brings home a man she loves dearly to meet the family for the first time. He is also successful, great credit report which Bernie mentions many times. There is one small catch. As we all know Ashton is a white man. While the family is ok with this Bernie seems less than thrilled. While he is never cruel to him he is openly distrustful and even semi hostile towards him.

I won’t spoil to much but there is a very powerful scene where Bernie basically urges Ashton to tell racist jokes at family dinner which they actually find quite funny at first until he takes it one step to far.

Now this is a comedy and of course at one point both of the men end up on the same team when their respective ladies get pissed at them after an argument in the yard where pretty much everyone comes off as an asshole and Ashton makes the mistake of referring to the people in the yard as “you people” and then defends himself by saying he has a black girlfriend.

Absolutely check this movie out, it will go down as one of Ashton and Bernie Macs best movies. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Overnight (2015)

Yea..look I don’t even know where to start on this one. Basically couple A moves from Seattle to California and they meet couple B when they meet at the park when they have their kids at the park. This is basically where the normalcy ends. Hold on people this shits about to get real damn weird.

So we get to couple B’s house for dinner and the kids go to bed. So now they are drinking and discussing work. Guy B sells water filters he invented and chick B is an actress. I thought it was going to be porn but it wasn’t. It was just a demonstration video on how breast pumps work. The logically thing obviously is to give this DVD away to your new friends as a gift…seriously that happens. Now they are smoking some pot, same scene by the way. Now there is some more drinking and dancing and grinding and a game if the floor is lava.

More weird stuff happens and the guys wonder off to see the art work guy B makes…its weird and colorful and its butt holes. No literally. Dude takes pictures of his friends literal assholes and paints colorful pictures of them. I can’t make this up.

Now we all know I hate giving you guys spoilers to the point i rarely give out names. Everything I have told you is in about the first 20 minutes of the movie and isn’t even plot points. Those get even weirder. I won’t discourage you from watching this movie, it isn’t even bad. Its just weird but in a fun way. I don’t regret watching it but it must be noted only certain people will enjoy it. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

I Love You, Man (2009)

Before he was Antman Paul Rudd was awkward as hell. Like painfully awkward. Awkward to the point he was painful to watch. That is ok tho, he was supposed to be. He plays a guy that is about to be married to the woman of his dreams. The problem is he has no friends. And not the way most people have a couple but feel like they don’t have any.

Lets us play a quick game. Imagine you are going to ask the person you love you to marry you. Now think of the person you tell first. Now imagine the person you love says yes. Who do you tell first? Second? Probably would shoot them a text that day or call them right? Yea this guy does not. His best friend may be his mother…maybe.

Antman is now on a quest. A quest to make the bridal party a bit less lopsided and make some friends. This sounds like a boring concept but if you add a mother that accidentally sets him up on a blind date with a gay man, a legitimately gay brother whos type is straight men and we got a fun movie.

He does get a few friend tho. Free spirited Jason Segel for example. They never really specify what his job is, he has a weird obsession with the band Rush and he gets beat up by the Incredible Hulk but that just adds to his charm. By all means check this one out, its a fun movie that many people missed out on. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Wedding Crashers (2005)

Another Vince Vaughn movie, this time with Owen Wilson. Christopher Walken also shows up. Hey whats the opposite of Christopher Walken? Ok no I can’t steal jokes from Dragon Ball Z Abridged plus its in bad taste, just like the actions of the men in this movie.

Basically two friends on a yearly quest to take advantage of unsuspecting emotionally vulnerable drunk women go to weddings they are not invited to and attempt to get laid.

Honestly the movie is hilarious, Vince and Owen work well together. Playing two best friends that work together helping settle divorces you cam actually believe (and maybe they do) hang out daily in real life crashing weddings. There are of course rules to such adventures like never leave a fellow crasher behind.

Eventually tho, things go bad. Real bad. While crashing a congressman’s (Christopher Walken) daughters wedding Owen falls for his other daughter hard and attempts to break a rule. He tries to take things into overtime. You have a wedding and a reception to close the deal and he wants to spend the weekend at the lake house.

Vince has other problems. See daughter number three is a “stage 5 virgin clinger” and possibly crazy. Things aren’t always as they appear and this movie has some great twist and turns. Both men also get whats coming to them in the end. The man that passed on the sacred rules of wedding crashing to them is now crashing funerals by the way and that really should be a sequel with Will Ferrell (yes he has a small part here). This movie is a must see. Oh, and before I go the answer to my opening question is Christopher Reeves. Best wishes and may the gaming gods have mercy on my soul.

The Breakup (2006)

This isn’t my usual movie but Vince Vaughn makes me laugh and Jennifer Aniston both makes me laugh and is one of the most beautiful women on Earth. Combine all that and I pretty much have to check it out.

Now lets be honest. Answer this, have you seen a movie with Vince before? If you said yes than you are familiar with his character. He basically plays the same guy in every movie with a new name. Its why most of his fans watch.

He meets Jennifer at a ball game while she is out with her at the time boyfriend and essentially forces a hotdog on her. After the game he then convinces her to hang out. A couple years later they buy a condo together.

Unfortunately while Vince is a hard worker and even owns his own tour guide business in Chicago that is quite successful he isn’t a very attentive boyfriend. He does what he wants and isn’t very considerate. He loves his girlfriend and his friends, he just isn’t the best at showing it.

After a rough dinner is when Jennifer finally has enough and the break up happens. She thinks he will apologize and change his ways. Capitan oblivious however decides he simply won’t move out of the condo and they both start playing 2 separate games. She wants to make him jealous so he will come crawling back, and he wants her to either move out for realise she was wrong. Turns out they are both stupid and the results are funny.

This movie however isn’t your typical romantic comedy with a happy ending. The ending isn’t really sad either. Its not much of anything in fact. You can take it as you want. I enjoyed it and you may too even if its just to see Jennifer’s bear bottom. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Silent Hill (2006)

I am not normally a fan of movies based off video games, tho admittedly I never really got into the Silent Hill games. I’m told the movie is pretty far off, and maybe that is why I am also one of the few people I personally know that seemed to enjoy the movie.

Also interesting is that the Silent Hill town in the movie is based off a real life town called Centralia that I have physically been to well before the movie came out. (Tho the few remaining residents pretty much hate people going there now even more than when I was there) tho if you want some back info on that I will include a link.

https://uncoveringpa.com/visiting-centralia

Anyway back to the movie itself. Visually for its time it was pretty damn creepy and the sound simply added to that even now. Having never seen pyramid head in the game I get why people were freaked out by the guy. That giant sword cutting through a steel door like it was made of butter is enough to unsettle anyone. The creepy nurses in the basement and their twitchy movements followed by maiming each other was a bit sick to.

The story itself however of a little girl going missing was a bit cliche with mom looking for her and dad looking for them both has pretty much been done to death. It was pretty well done all the same tho all the same.

There are plenty of twist and turns to keep the movie interesting and I enjoyed it. The movie wasn’t perfect and you currently need to pay close attention to it, I’d watch it alone at night personally to get the full feeling of it. Best wishes and my the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Chaperone (2011)

So people have been saying “Hey savior you wrestled a bit, review more wrestler movies” so here we have WWE’s Triple H in The Chaperone.

This movie isn’t great but admittedly it was surprisingly good. Hunter plays a getaway driver attempting to reform himself after 7 years in federal prison after his friend ditched him during a bank robbery. The problem is his kid hates him for leaving her, his wife that struggled to finishing nursing school is still rightfully pissed and people aren’t quick to hire a felon.

While fighting to get back into his daughters good graces he is invited to chaperone a school field trip that falls on the same day his old crew wants him to return to his old life as a getaway driver. At the last minute he chooses the field trip leaving the crew high and dry, which results in a wild chase for money and revenge.

The movie is a fun little movie that is a feel good story for parents to watch with their kids. Adults alone probably will want a more adult centered story but really its a nice compromise between something for the kids and parents. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Doctor Strange ( 2016)

This review will probably get me some crap from Torsten. So let me start out by saying this. The movie is good. I enjoyed it.

The movie looks beautiful. The special effects are some of the best I have seen, and we all know I watch a lot of movies. You guys read about them.

The sounds are probably equal to the visuals. They would have to be. They spent millions on this stuff. Its a blockbuster movie of blockbuster movies really.

There is honestly nothing actually wrong with the movie. It is simply made for people that happen to already be Doctor Strange fans. Its one of the rare occasions the characters origin story probably should have waited until after we knew who he was.

Torsten once described this movie to me as the worlds worst texting and driving public service announcement and really that’s what it is. Basically Steve goes to a party while checking on some surgeries, crashes his car and wrecks his hands. When he wakes up and can’t do surgery anymore he searches Hong Kong for an alleged cure and ends up with magical powers.

That all being said while the movie is good, I do feel it is one of the worst Marvel movies. To be fair tho, that still makes it worth watching. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Drinking Buddies (2013)

This is one of those times Netflix lied to me. I found this movie in the comedy section. It is in no way shape or form a comedy. Not saying its a bad movie. Well not yet, just that it is by no means a comedy.

Ok now on to the part where I say this is a bad movie. The acting is well done, the visuals and sound are good and hey Olivia Wilde looks good without cloths on. That is basically where the good in the movie ends.

The story itself is essentially two coworkers at a beer brewery each dating someone else where both couples sort of cheat on each other with opposite partners with a ton of down time and talking that really doesn’t mean much and an ending that solves literally nothing. The movie is 90 minutes of basically meaningless chatter and that is coming from a man that admits to liking romantic comedies. This one is best avoided. Best wishes and may the gaming gods being you glory.