Tag: Movies

Burying The Ex

I won’t lie. I figured hot chicks and a dumb movie. What I got was hot chicks, a novel approach to a classic creature and an interesting story. I was quite pleased with this one.

It is really straight forward tho. Boy meets girl. They date. Boy no longer likes girl. Girl gets hit by a bus and dies. Bot meets new girl…ex comes back from the dead and moves back in..ok so not really straight forward completely but damn would that cock block you. And it did this guy so bad.

No surprise Yelchin played his role amazingly and I am still sad he passed away, as did out lovely ladies Green and Daddario, both talented and I wish we saw them in more movies.

As the movie goes on we see why living with a zombie would be a bit weird. Like how weird it would be when they make you breakfast or how awkward it would be if they wanted sex and worse when your half brother walks in and thinks you dug up the body before freaking out worse when he discovers you live with a zombie.

Honestly if you are looking for just a fun movie to kill some time with that isn’t your average movie this is a good choice. Maybe don’t watch it with young kids tho. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Signs (2002)

Ok now I know this is less a Horror movie and more a sci fi movie but I feel like it still counts.

Anyway an ex minister still struggling with the loss of his wife wakes up to find weird crop circles in the field outside his house. The locals and his family assume its a hoax and hey who wouldn’t? Even tho the dog goes a bit nuts and his kid accidentally kills it.

As time goes on and his daughter leaves more and more glasses of water laying around and we are reminded again and again..and again..and again that his brother is an ex minor league baseball player. More weird things happen all around the world until we discover actual aliens from space are attempting to harvest people.

The movie is solid enough and actually pretty fun if you ignore the blatant plot hole created by the ending that was shoehorned in. While attempting to be clever with the water itself is deadly sort of like acid to the aliens he neglected to think of the fact that the Earths air itself has water in it which would pretty much kill them. That aside its not bad. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Monster Squad (1987)

This movie is one of those classics from my childhood. A group of kids that love monsters and monster..movies…well shit this blog suddenly makes way more sense…

Anyway a group of monster obsessed kids end up befriending Frankenstein and attempting to prevent Dracula and his minions that include a wolf man, mummy and a creature from the black lagoon..I think. Was never really sure what the fish dude was…seriously someone let me know.

The movie was a pretty original idea, a group of kids must finish what Van Helsing started. With the help of a scary German guy they open a portal and fan himself will even make an appearance. This is a fun ride i suggest everyone takes. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Most Likely To Die (2016)

Honestly this movie is kind of like the B version of Scream at a rich dudes house the night before the high schools 10 year reunion. And I don’t mean that as an insult.

Ashley is the first to arrive hoping to seduce her ex boyfriend the host who also happens to be a bit down in the dumps and being cut by the New York Rangers. Of course she is the first one to die, and of course she dies running in a skimpy outfit down a semi wooded dirt trail. Yea its going to be like that.

Other notable movie cliches include a hot tub scene, a dead body in said hot tub, a high school crush reveal that results in sex, a recovering alcoholic that goes back to drinking, an older guy watching a hot chick get undressed that is creepy as hell you will think is the killer, that guy ending up dead..honestly the list can go on.

That list aside it isn’t done bad. While very cliche the high school revenge plot when done right is always fun and it is done fairly well, and I was fairly sure I knew who the killer was the whole time until it turned out I didn’t. If you like slasher flicks give this one a shot, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993) explained badly.

Earlier in the week, my daughter, who is way younger than this movie, said for at least the 100th time, “Let’s watch The Nightmare Before Christmas,” and I said Sure. So we did…again. And here is my review of the movie we have all seen a million times…But do any of you remember my Harry Potter reviews? Yup, this is The Nightmare Before Christmas, explained badly.

His Royal Highness Jack invaded the land of Kris Kringle in early November in an attempt to expand his kingdom. Sadly, the easter bunny was also taken hostage. In the ensuing carnage.

After many battles, however, a third entity by the name of Oogie Boogie took the chance in the confusion and captured Kris Kringle. Realising the danger posed to both Halloween and Christmas town as well as the human world, Jack and his forces joined with Kringle to defeat Boogie and save Christmas.

Jack would marry a woman named Sally, and peace would last for generations to come.

I hope you enjoyed. Best wishes, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Teeth (2007)

This movie is essentially about every guys worst nightmare. No, not a girl knocking at his door a year after a one night stand saying you are the father.

There isn’t much to this movie honestly. It is the typical high school drama of a girl struggling to find herself and keeping true to her abstinence. Oh yea, she is hardcore waiting for marriage. (Not that I have an issue with that per say it just isn’t for me)

Flash forward to every mans worst nightmare. The name of the movie, Teeth? Yea her lady bits have got some bite to them. And yes a rapist will literally lose his dick, not that rapist deserve to have one anyway.

Now any long time reader or even read a few reviews person knows I like to leave out major spoilers and most of the plot points. There are a few surprises in the movie and it is well put together. Its worth checking out, just don’t go into it expecting anything more than a fun but flawed experience. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever (2009)

Picking up where the first Cabin Fever left off with Shawn Hunter..ok the guy who played him playing someone else, getting hit by a school bus. The worlds worst cop returns to brag about the time a moose got hit by a car and ended up in a lady’s front seat and swears up and down the bus hit a moose not a person.

Yea that is basically how this movie is going to go. From here the movie basically turns into the usual high school drama movie except one of the students is also a stripper. Who also in the worlds weirdest revenge plot gives a nerd a blow job in the school bathroom…maybe not quite the usual high school drama stuff.

As prom night gets closer the worlds worst cop starts to figure out that maybe the illness is spreading and tracks down a water truck shipment.

Honestly I am going to skip ahead. As entertaining as the movie is at times most of the details are pretty par for the course. Nothing is all that new until prom, so lets go there.

Here we are. Prom night. After a small fight it turn out some group I can only assume is the CDC shows up with guns, locks the doors and begins to toss in tear gas and begins to kill every living person they can find. As our main characters try to escape more and more people are killed.

The end of this movie is an actual blood bath. There is blood and death everywhere. And of course 1 person once again escapes. I can’t say the movie is good, but it is fun. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Cube (1997)

So I’m on twitter the other day and this guy I occasionally talk to informed me this 1997 classic..yea I say classic its 20 years old,is now on Netflix. (I will get to the other movie when I have time to read a movie)

Cube is essentially the movie that started the whole Saw movie thing. Don’t believe me? Go watch it. Or just read the general plot.

The movie starts off with people waking up not knowing where they are, with people they don’t know. Quickly they discover they are free to roam their general area but must find a way out of the building they are in. The building is square rooms, that all look basically the same of various colors with numbers near all the hatch doors.

I am sure you are wondering where the Saw part comes in. Well certain rooms have various traps set up to kill you, for example one of the escape experts gets his face burned off with a sort of acid spray.

Yes I did say escape expert. There is also an ex cop, a doctor what can only be described as an idiot savant and an office worker that designed the shell of the cube itself.

Added to all this is their struggle to decipher the connection between the traps and the numbers between rooms and how to get out of this death trap. It isn’t hard to see how this could be the father of the Saw movies, best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Haunting Of Whaley House (2013)

First thing first. I don’t want to waste any ones time. If you aren’t a fan of really slow movies that won’t get interesting until later, skip this movie. It wasn’t until around the hour mark the movie was anything much more than people standing around a haunted house.

With that out of the way, Penny takes a job at the Whaley House, the most haunted house in America. After some weird day at work and telling her friends they get excited and convince her to use her key to enter the house at night for a ghost hunt.

Yea I know, this is why friends are a bad idea. Anyway after calling a cousin with some ghost hunting equipment whom brings a pretty famous psychic and away we go….

Ok honestly at this point they mostly wonder around the house talking about ghost related stuff like cold spots and vortexes.

A bit later it gets a little more exciting and the ghost do more things and it really gets into the lore and back story of why this haunted house is even haunted in the first place. By all means if you like a good movie with some build up check this movie out, but I realise many of you like more excitement. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Jeepers Creepers 2 (2003)

What happens when a bus full of jocks, a few cheerleaders and a couple nerds get trapped on a bus with a demon type monster attacking it? Watch this movie to find out.

The movie starts on a farm with a father, his older teen son and his young son doing some work. The young son discovers one of the scare crows he was hanging wasn’t a scare crow at all. Of course every 23 springs for 23 days it can eat and humans are the main course.

After the young farm boy, our high school jocks are next. First the coach, then the bus driver, then the assistant coach.

Every so often we switch back to the dad building something in the barn, just hammering away with no clear indication as to what it is. I mention this because the pissed off farmer and his son are important later.

After awhile of being tormented and the bus being flipped and some implied racism the teens are forced to make a run for it. A few are picked off by the demon until eventually our farmer hero arrives in his trusty pick up being driven by his son. What was dad building? A modified stake driver to throw harpoons. The final battle is on. Who wins and who loses? Truthfully the people watching the movie win. A fun movie with some deep thoughts and some nice action scenes. One that is absolutely worth checking out if you have the option. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.