Retro Review – Page 11 – Savior Gaming

Ultimate Spider-man game

ultimate spider-man

I don’t really talk about Ultimate Marvel that much. I enjoyed Ultimate Fantastic 4: Fantastic / Doom and the The Ultimates but that’s where most of my fuzzy feelings end on the matter. This game opened my eyes…

So it begins with a really quick run through of Ultimate Spider-man lore and immediately a boss fight, Venom chasing down Parker at a rained out football game. Through the game we switch perspectives as Spider-man and Venom as S.H.I.E.L.D, OsCorp hunt you down but it all comes down to the grudge match between the two.

Some of Ultimate’s general story choices always bothered the shit out of me like the Black Suit not being a alien, Green Goblin being lime green HellBoy that throws fireballs, and Peter Parker being Carnage. How Venom is portrayed as more of a mindless brute that just hungers is enough to piss off any true old school Spidey fan. That being said the story isn’t great but passable.

The game’s graphics go for a bright comic book aesthetic which fits. Playing as Spider-man is a serious down grade from the awesome Spider-man 2 game. There’s no real combat combos, the web swinging feels clunky by comparison, and instead of the previous game’s cool dodge mechanics, you just jump out of the way. As for Venom, you brawl with your fists and tentacles as well as a hell of a super jump. The problem is your health bar dwindles and you have to feed- a lot. Venom’s chase sections are a pain in the ass compared to Spidey’s. The villain roster is nice with the likes of Shocker, Electro, Goblin, Beetle, Rhino, Silver Sable and Carnage. Would I recommend it- not unless you are a fan of the Ultimate comics honestly. Before this game and after, there are better Spider-man games out there. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Fantastic 4 (2005) the game

f4 game

I fell for the onslaught of movie games pre- MCU and it all boils to being just a kid. I was pretty disappointed with Fantastic 4 (2005) and I was praying for a better experience. Well, it’s a game…pretty much the story follows the movie loosely, only with added villains like Mole Man, Dragon Man, El Diablo, and Puppet Master with Dr Doom as the main bad guy.

We get to play as each member of the Four: Mr Fantastic, Invisible Woman, Human Torch, and the Thing. The game doesn’t do bad with most of the characters but Human Torch felt the least under powered of the group and Invisible Woman felt almost OP with her stealth take downs and the push beam from force field. Level design was simple- straight beat em up with some cut scenes and QTEs thrown in for good measure and with the exception of the Torch levels it’s not a bad game, just repetitive. Everyone gets a solo level, then boss and repeat. Graphics are meh and the voice acting ain’t great. It’s an Ok game but nothing fantastic- pun intended. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Superman returns: the game

superman returns the game

There is a lot of movie tie-in games out there. Not so much these days, but when I was a kid every movie seemed to have a damn video game counterpart. Superman Returns stuck with me after all these years because there were some ideas that could have been awesome, and maybe if done now could have been astounding.

The story of the game for Superman Returns doesn’t really follow the movie- at all. The fact Superman comes back to Earth and Lex Luthor is doing something naughty is pretty much where the similarities end. Somehow he finds himself in a Colosseum in space in a fight with Mongul , which is weirdly the tutorial. You escape and go to Earth where you fight Bizzaro, Metallo, and that little creepy inter-dimensional guy no one but a true comic geek can even pronounce let a lone spell while Luthor does build up stuff to a create a bunch of evil tornadoes…this is the story in a nutshell.

Playing as Superman in a open world isn’t perfect but I have to give the game credit, it works remarkably damn well. You get heat vision, super breath, freeze breath, super speed, flight, and strength and for the most part, they work really well. I like how you really can’t die but you can get weakened but the closer you get to sun, the stronger you get. What does have a health bar is Metropolis itself, which is a fair idea but damn it’s a pain in the ass to maintain. The fights you get into cause a lot of collateral damage. Actual fighting I think sucks. Your vision powers aren’t really effective against enemies on there own and the combos you can do aren’t great but alright. The game never feels fluid, it feels clunky and that hurts the Bizarro fight for example. The final boss is a huge letdown. There is fun here but after a few hours it gets old and repetitive fast. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Steel

steel

Hey everyone, remember the 90’s when no one had an idea what makes a good superhero movie? Because of this, we got such majestic gems as Batman and Robin and Spawn/ Spawn: origins so why the hell should it come as a shock that anyone thought of giving Shaq the role of a DC superhero? Well…here’s Steel…

Shaq plays John Henry Irons, a weapons maker for the military with his best friend Sparks. Together with a dick named Nathaniel they made a whole new line of laser weapons to help the government get a leg up on shit. Well, Nathaniel rigs one of the weapons for maximum power, it backfires and people end up dead, Sparks ends up in a wheelchair, and John Henry says F U to the army and leaves to go back home to his grandma while he works in a steel mill to get his head together. Well his old friend comes back with a gang and those weapons and intends to sell them. So its up to John Henry, his uncle Joe, and Sparks to stop them, but first he’ll need his own armor and weapons to become Steel…

Oh boy…so when I was a kid, this movie wasn’t bad. Wasn’t great, but wasn’t bad. As an adult, this movie is ass. The acting is meh at best but what really kills this movie are the effects. The suit looks fake as hell and damn right gaudy. There’s a lot of unintentionally funny stuff in this movie like the fact grandma making a souffle is an actual side plot, Shaq free throws a grenade, and the awkward dialogue choices throughout. I can’t sadly say it’s hilarious enough to be a total WTF movie, its just bland and by the numbers moment by moment. Its really forgettable and I can’t say its worth watching. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Die Hard with a Vengeance

Die hard 3

I want to start this review with a special shout out to my Dad, Duke, who got me into Die Hard as a kid. My favorite Die Hard needs to be shared with my favorite badass..

So after the events of Die Hard (1988) and Die Hard 2: Die Harder , John McClane is in a pretty rough place. His wife and family left him, filthy and drunk as a cop in New York fighting to keep his job. After a massive bombing, the terrorist responsible has a demand: he wants to play a game with McClane, but he didn’t count on a good Samaritan, Zeus, saving him. This terrorist named only Simon is driven to kill McClane, putting him and Zeus through insane scenarios while Simon carries out his own agenda, but it isn’t long before John realizes Simon’s vendetta goes back to his first great adventure- Simon was Han’s brother.

Die Hard with a Vengeance is pretty much what a action movie sequel should be. Bruce Willis, Samuel Jackson, and Jeremy Irons give great performances. The action scenes are truly badass and for the first time in the series, we get a lot of different locations so nothing ever feels stale. What helps too is the chemistry between Willis and Jackson which carries the film. What I truly love about the first 4 Die Hard films is how beat to shit McClane is by the end. I can’t stand action movies where no one gets dirty, just maybe a cut or two; in Die Hard, you know John McClaine ain’t Superman and the tension mounts because he wins every fight by the skin of his teeth. I seriously recommend tthe third Die Hard as much as the first and with that: may the gaming gods bring you glory and yippie-ki-ay motherfucker everyone ( even though it’s not Christmas)

One Last Shot (1998)

One shot is a short film by Mike Clattenberg which most of you know from Trailer Park boys. It featured the characters Rickey, Julian and Mr. Lahey and told the story of Rickey and Julians last day together before Rickey moved to Vancouver.

At first I thought the movie wasn’t very good but I realized it wasn’t really fair to judge a 20-year-old short film shot by friends and 3 guys to harshly. Sure Clerks is basically a cult classic but that is equal parts genius and fluke to be honest.

One last shot was actually fairly well put together, the scenes make sense and for a black and white film the lighting is actually well done. At no point did I feel like the dark parts were overly dark or the light taking away from anything and the acting while a bit bland at times didn’t exactly feel stiff. It just felt like what it was, people who loved movies that wanted to make one and get some experience and honestly that showed. I have seen much higher production value movies feel less heartfelt and honest than this did. Its only 30 minutes and it very much worth checking out if you are a fan of his or the Trailer Park Boys (which I am not) best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Young Guns 2 (1990)

download (4)

Young Guns like the first one is a movie I haven’t seen in so long I forgot the story. If you read my review of the first one yesterday you will know I did enjoy both movies and suggest you watch them both. The story of this one takes place not long after the first.

With most of the gang dead or in hiding Billy is still in New Mexico traveling around doing his thing. The story is actually however one big flash back told by a man named “Brushy” Bill Roberts. He is talking to a lawyer in the 1950’s telling the story of how he was promised a pardon years ago and never received it. He would not like to meet the governor to talk about getting it now. The flash back details how him and his crew attempted to run and escape to “old Mexico” to avoid the new sheriff Pat Garrett that used to be part of Billys posse.

Interestingly enough the movie is actually based off an actual man who claimed to be Billy the Kid and was discredited but there is some evidence to support that Pat Garrett killed the wrong man or that him and Billy intentionally mislead people to help Garrett collect the reward money and Billy could finally be free. Bill Roberts died in 1950 but was verified to be billy the kid by some people who did know Billy tho most people don’t believe him. Honestly we will never know, but it is a nice story none the less. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Young Guns (1988)

download (3)

Young guns is a movie I haven’t seen in years, to the point I forgot what both movies were even about. Seriously I forgot it was about Billy the Kid and Doc. The story starts out with a man named John Tunstall taking in a bunch of deviant basically criminals and giving them a second chance. The problem is him and another local cattle merchant are both going for a government contract for beef and with some powerful enemies John is murdered.

Billy, Doc and the rest of Johns boys are deputized to arrest the murderers and go off to do their thing. Billy however gets a little trigger happy and kills the first guy they go to arrest. This results in a gun fight that kills many and a legend is born.

What follows is an interesting take on the Billy the Kid story. Emilio Estevez and Charlie sheen do an amazing job at their roles as does Kiefer Sutherland as Doc Scurlock. In an era when westerns died off it managed to be a great movie that even warranted a sequel, a movie that I will be covering as well and I promise will be getting my recommendation just as well as this one. If by some chance you haven’t seen the Young Guns movies, Hulu has them both and Netflix has the first and now is a great time to check them out. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

House of Wax

house of wax

House of Wax was way beyond it’s time and let’s be honest, Vincent Price was spectacular in basically every movie he was in. He’ll always be my favorite classic actor and this is why…

House of Wax stars Vincent Price as a famous and talented wax sculptor who looses everything in what appears to be accident that burns down his studio, destroys his hands, and destroys his beautiful works, including his beloved Marie Antoinette. Years later, he resurfaces with a new studio. He’s confined to a wheelchair and his hands are horribly burnt but with the help of his assistant Igor, he opens a museum of torture with wax. But while his life gets back on track, a deformed killer stalks the gothic streets, talking the bodies after he’s done. Everyone joyously remarks how the wax sculptures look so lifelike, is it just a coincedence or something darker?

For a movie so old, it still openly gives me the creeps and I love it. Price steals the show, being sympathetic while being menacing and crazy at the same time. I love the creepy atmosphere and booming score. The other characters are solid and the time period adds to it. While not showy, the effects are pretty damn ahead of there time. It’s a classic and I’d recommend it for a old school horror fan. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Wait until Dark

wait until dark

A lot of times, the best horror movies are the simplest ideas of all; in the convoluted age of today I can admire that more than ever. Wait until Dark is about a trio of criminals who lose a doll stuffed with a lot of heroin and it ends ups in the hands of a blind woman and her husband by total accident. The leader of the group takes advantage of the woman’s disability, invading there basement apartment, even going so far as to have one of his guys impersonate a police officer to try to buy them time to search for it. It’s up to Susie to uncover the mystery around her and survive with a cold blooded killer unseen in her midst.

Would I call Wait Until Dark a horror movie per say? No. I’d say a damn good suspense thriller, but not quite a horror movie. Strangely enough a lot of the movie and it’s tension revolves around how sweet and vulnerable Audrey Hepburn is; her charm hooks you almost immediately and from the get go your heart pounds when she’s in danger. Alan Arkin plays a good villain, charismatic and menacing. Like Misery , the entire movie pretty much takes place in a small, cramp space. The movie is filmed really well and has a solid score. If you’re interested in watching an older film and want a genuinely good thriller, I’d recommend it. May the gaming gods bring you glory.