Category: Horror

Deadpool 2

dp2 movie

Deadpool , the little antihero who could, has become a huge phenomenon in the two years since the movie. I see countless men, women, and children in Deadpool garb everyday at my day job. The very second the trailer dropped for Deadpool 2, in a rare event I haven’t witnessed since the teasers for Avengers: Age of Ultron and The Force Awakens debuted, I had friends, coworkers, and even random strangers ask me if I saw it and my thoughts (I give a shout out to the creative marketing behind this movie, keeping us engaged with hilarious parody trailers so the actual material wouldn’t get old.) So, does Wade have what it takes to earn the hype?

Picking up months after the first ended, Wade is finally happy being an unkillable mercenary with girlfriend Vanessa, about to start a family when, like every superhero story ever told, tragedy strikes. Wade, left broken hearted is suicidal but that’s for naught because of that pesky healing factor, so he joins the X men as a trainee with old buddies Colossus and Negasonic Teenage Warhead. There’s a troubled youth going a rampage named Russel at the Mutant Rehabilitation orphanage, but all it’s what it seems; he’s been abused and in a fit of rage Wade kills one of the assholes responsible and lands him and Russel in a detention center for mutants. It isn’t long until a threat from the future comes, claiming Russel would slay his family one day and it’s duty to assassinate the boy  here and now to save them in the future. Enter Cable. It’s up to Wade to save the boy from Cable with his own group of misfits, but can he change the future?

I have to honest, for a while I’ve been burnt on Deadpool since the first movie and the mammoth popularity in pop culture. That being said, I loved Deadpool 2, but it’s not without some flaws. If you love raunchy, meta comedy, you will adore this movie, especially if you are a superhero nerd like myself. The action is bigger and there’s a host of characters, old and new to fall in love with. This is Josh Brolin’s year, he excels at being Cable just as he did playing Thanos in Avengers: Infinity War and Domino was a welcome addition, as well as the well done villain cameo at the end I won’t spoil. A small flaw I had was the movie flows really good until the third act where I felt it dragged a bit. Another issue I had was I felt the emotional parts of the movie stopped having weight to them because of the never ending speed and intensity of the jokes  and I feel the first movie balanced these aspects out a lot better. In the end, I liked it as much as the first film but it easily could have transgressed the first if they work on the serious/ comedy balance a bit better, flushed the characters out a bit more, and paced the jokes a bit better. It’s still awesome as hell and I highly recommend it. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Playing it Cool (2014)

download (1)

Playing it cool caught my eye cuz honestly I was bored and needed something to watch and it was there. Chris Evans is Captain America, Michelle Monaghan is cute, I tossed the movie on.

The movie is about A man who has never been in love and is tasked with writing a romantic comedy. While doing research to write it he actually falls for a woman, but because every movie needs some drama she of course is with someone. Honestly the movie is cliché as hell, almost to the point of being unbearable. From the grandfather that was in the Navy and met his grandmother right before shipping out all the way to tossing a rock at her window, and since it’s a comedy he even breaks the wrong window.

The movie is pretty funny at times, and the movie is entertaining enough, but the movie is just so cliché and awkward at times. The acting is top-notch, the story itself is just uninspired. However if you can simply accept that and watch the movie for what it is, it is pretty fun. The chemistry between Chris and Michelle is great and his friends are amazing. I would definitely watch it, but not if you are looking for something more than a distraction, best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Last House on the Left

last house on the left

There are  a very few movies that have dropped jaws as well as terrify the masses made by young folks with a passion, as well as a remake that shits all over it. The late horror legend, Wes Craven, as well Sean Cunningham who would give us Friday the 13th gave us a new kind of horror that nearly 50 years, still inspiring writers and filmmakers to this day.

It’s Mari Collingwood’s 17th birthday and all she wants is grab some weed and go to a rock concert with her BFF Phyllis. Her folks, Estelle and John, let her go because kids will be kids, despite the radio reports of a trio of criminals on the loose. Mari and Phyllis find a pot connection in Willow, who leads them to the sinister trio led by his father, Krug, who proceed to kidnap the girls and take them into the woods. They are raped, Phyllis is disemboweled, and Mari is fatally shot, left to die in the water- leading to the twist, the woods are behind the Collingwood’s home. The trio disguises themselves as a family with car trouble, showing up at there doorstep. As the rain descends, Estelle’s intuition tells her something is wrong and tragically, unaware to the criminals, the parents discover the body of their daughter, and suddenly they plan there revenge…

Let’s talk about the original, it’s  one hell of a debut film. The subject matter is indeed disturbing and some of the scenes are hard to watch but it helps illustrate its point. The actors, as well as the way its filmed, do not feel produced or glossy, giving the movie a sense of seldom realism we rarely get in horror anymore. I love the villains, horrible people who go from being dimwitted goofballs to savage fiends which is captured remarkably well. The music is unique to the core and unforgettable. The only real flaw are the cartoonish cops throughout that trip the tone hard at times but I admit, helps gives the movie personality.

Personality is something the 2009 remake lacks. First, why the hell this movie exists, I don’t know. Granted, on it’s own, it isn’t a terrible movie. The cinematography is quite nice at times and the score is fitting. Essentially the plot is the same but with one damning difference, Mari doesn’t die and Willow turns good instead of crack and kill himself which gives it a huge Hollywood feel, if the cinematography and big orchestra score weren’t dead giveaways. On top of that, the actors do look like actors and the criminals look like bad guys from the get go. The fact it does look and feel so much like a big budget movie cripples it and makes it feel like a run of the mill home invasion thriller by the third act.

Last House on the Left was a heavy horror movie with some meaning behind it, made by some 20 somethings who wanted to do something different. The remake ain’t horrid if you never saw the original, but I urge you to if you haven’t. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Halloween 2018 first trailer

 

He’s back! I know this isn’t my usual time to post, but considering the occasion I think it can be forgiven. As a babe in diapers, two icons have haunted my nightmares for 27 years, making me want to spread the fear someday with my own stories of horror. Michael Myers, the shape, is tied for my favorite horror character next to the Alien. After the soul crushing defeat after watching Rob Zombie’s remakes and after a string of aimless sequels leading to a busted continuity, we get a movie that rewrites history, erasing all but the very original. Normal, these kind of deals don’t sit right with me but I love the look and vibe I got from the trailer. For the first time in a long time, I felt a buzz of terror seeing Michael lurking the streets of Haddonfield once again to the classic Carpenter score. Laurie, reprised by Jamie Lee Curtis , seems badass if not traumatized which isn’t far from H20 but seems more maddened which is a cool twist. Michael looks haggard but appropriately so, unlike Zombie’s. I am excited as hell, like fanboy nerdgasm right now and I’m pumped. I’m dedicating this quick to my friend and fellow Halloween fanboy Dave at work, enjoy bro and thank you for the support. May the gaming gods bring you glory and remember, evil never dies.

Suspiria 2018 trailer 1

 

Suspiria was one of the most artistic, beautiful, and creative horror movies I’ve ever seen and at first when I heard it was getting a remake, I rolled my eyes. Though I did a list of 5 horror remakes I loved , I generally don’t, hence the post I did after, 5 remakes that went and pissed me off . I’m glad to see Suspiria doesn’t look like a copy/ paste remake like the Omen, but at the same time I didn’t believe it was Suspiria until the title popped up. The trailer is well done though, intriguing and unsettling and I can’t wait to see it. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Tom Segura: Disgraceful (2018)

download (1)

Tom Segura is a guy I never really watched before, not for any particular reason besides I had never known who he was. I admittedly wish I did. The guy is actually pretty funny, covering topics such as racism, pop culture and weirdly it actually isn’t the sort of shock humor you would expect. For example he makes the joke about people getting hurt is funny but a person with a disability isn’t, except sometimes it is. He uses the example that if someone gets hit in the head and suddenly speaks his normal language but not with a funny accent, it is funny. This is true, it is a rare but real thing and it is hilarious.

There is some swearing involved but there isn’t anything all that offensive in there. I wouldn’t exactly call this a family program, don’t toss this on for the kids. However if you want some sort of adult oriented comedy show without off the wall and insanely offensive comedy, this is worth watching. Best wishes, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Resident Evil 5

re5

After the huge impact Resident Evil 4 had on me, as well as 2 and 3, I was pumped for 5 and was a huge selling point for me getting a PS3. Was it worth the hype?

Years after Resident Evil (remake) , Chris Redfield ( now a hell of a lot more buff and rugged looking.) is a agent of the BSAA, an organization tasked with eliminating bio-terrorism across the globe. On the ass hunting down a scumbag named Irving, Chris ventures to Africa, partnering with Sheva as they discover a hideous affliction of a contagion called the Uroboros as well as the Las Plagus. After Irving, the pair discover secrets leading them back to the ghostly remnants of Umbrella, discovering where the progenitor virus came from as well as the long awaited reunion with Chris’s old teammate and nemesis Albert Wesker as well as another ghost from Chris and Wesker’s past. Can the duo defeat the OP Wesker and stop the Uroboros?

While not terrible, this game has much to be desired. Graphically it’s beautiful, accompanied by a great score, perhaps my favorite of the series in fact. Gameplay is solid but the scare inventory slots can be annoying. A big this I have to say is the creatures in this game are the least frightening in the whole series. In fact, I have to say the Majini later on made me laugh rather than fill me with fear. You can definitely tell this game was a third person shooter at heart, which did function and play well enough as one, unlike Resident Evil 6 but damn it doesn’t feel right. Another huge issue I had was that the A.I for Sheva was dumber than a bag of rocks.   Plenty of times her idiotic death resulted in a pain in the ass redo or if I gave her a gun, she would waste the bullets, bullets I sorely needed. I do like that every loading screen is a summary from a Resident Evil timeline you can access in the bonus menu to learn more about the lore or get a better perspective on the lore. The best way to enjoy the game is with a buddy, which by the way, as Savoir and I proved, the game has drop in/ drop out couch co-op as well as online co-op; the game becomes 100 times better with a friend. If you and a buddy want a good game to play, it’s definitely worth the $20 it goes for. On it’s own its a solid game with some issues that can be overlooked. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Resident Evil: Revelations

re rev

In 2013, we got 3 Resident Evil games and who would’ve guessed the best of the 3 would’ve been a Nintendo 3DS game. Resident Evil 6 and Resident Evil: Operation Raccoon City did a strong disservice to the series, so it’s actually pretty easy to top the list of best Resident Evil of that year, but how good is it on it’s own?

So Revelations primarily follows Jill Valentine and her new partner Parker as they find themselves trapped on the Queen Zenobia, a luxury cruise liner where there has been a terrorist sighting and a B.O.W outbreak. Veltro, a terrorist group, years before had been committed on a sea city, leading to it’s destruction. Now they are equipped with the T-Abyss virus, creating horrible sea creature monstrosities. And if that isn’t bad enough, they have to survive the ship destroying itself, government machinations, and massive beasts; can she hold off til Chris Redfield and his new partner come to find them…

I’m basically on the fence with this game. Small disclosure, I didn’t play the 3DS version but the PS4 port so I can’t say if it’s better there, but some of the controls I can tell. The game does a fair job at being best of both worlds. It does have a claustrophobic setting and the beginning is creepy and the game has a solid modern combat system like 4, but better than 5. There are no zombies but in flashbacks there is a crap load of Hunters. The ScagDead boss is creepy as hell but irritating when they become regular enemies but the monsters mostly are Resident Evil staples. The Genesis scanner is a cool new feature that really comes in handy but there is a really shitty evade mechanic that got under my skin. When it comes to the plot, I was into it when it stayed on Jill but I checked out halfway through because I felt like I was watching 24 with a Resident Evil skin. In the end, it’s exactly in the middle for me. It’s nowhere near classic but it’s nowhere near terrible but at times it is frustrating. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Paranormal Activity 4

pa 4

I’ve been to probably 1,000 movies over my lifetime and Paranormal Activity 4 is one of the few times I wanted my money back.

Acting as the real sequel to the original, it picks up with the story of a family who gets  new neighbors: Katie and Hunter, and of course strange shit goes on and it’s all recorded on film…that’s almost literally the entire movie.

By the 4th movie, in less than 5 years after the original movie, it’s charm has worn off. The movie is insultingly short, leading eventually to why I wanted my money back. I’ve watched DBZ films longer than this damn thing and to pay 10 bucks to be in and out. The most memorable part was the ending, but this time came as no real surprise and the poor pacing ruined what effect it could have had. If you buy the collection it’s meh at best but I wouldn’t go past $5 for it. After 4 I quit the series, admiring the trilogy but recommending you stop there. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

 

Paranormal Activity 3

pa 3

Around this time I was a fan of this movie and had a job; my old writing partner and I had a WTF late night adventure trying to see this at midnight to no actual avail, but I digress. The teaser was chilling, and I’ll include it below. Many of the trailers were freaky as hell. Most of the cool shit never made it to this short ass movie.

Paranormal Activity 3 is a huge prequel, going back to when Katie and Kristy were little girls and we get to explore the very origin of the disturbances, the fire, the reason neither of them remembered anything as adult women. It begins when little Kristy finds a imaginary friend that no one thinks twice about; kids will be kids. But things begin to happen and before the family knows it they are on the run leading to perhaps my favorite WTF climaxes I’ve seen on film in a long time.

3 is the last of these movies I would call totally good. There are some crazy effects but I can say it’s a bit toned down from the previous movie. The acting again is solid but I have to say the kids nailed it; watching Kristy talking to nothing freaked me out a bit. By the third movie we find ourselves getting used to the formula, especially how frequently they were coming out, and with the exception of the WTF ending that kicks your ass, there isn’t much new ground covered. Something that bothers the shit out of me is a combination of the the pacing and how short the movie is. When you hit that WTF ending, the movie feels on the cusp of entering Act 3, not the tip toes of it which is jarring as hell. It adds to the scare but after the surprise wears off, you feel oddly let down. In the end, it’s a good found footage film that completes a solid trilogy. I’d end it here, save face, and call it a day. May the gaming gods bring you glory.