Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers

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I’m going to say this now, do not judge this movie on it’s poster; it is lying its ass off to you. Michael’s mask looks nothing like this, Jamie doesn’t wear the clown costume in this movie, the movie title card is just “Halloween 5”, and no, no one was really that ready for Michael Myers though by this point the teachers of Haddonfield should be running Michael safety drills in schools because by now you would think they’d expect his crazy ass.

Picking up exactly where 4 ends, Michael found a REALLY convoluted way of escaping the fuzz, just to fall into Odin-sleep with a old drifter guy for a year. Why the hell this nice old guy kept the dead body of a burned guy in a white mask on his floor for a year and didn’t notify the police or bury the bastard-reasons. Jamie is now mute in a asylum, having a psychic episode that wakes Mikey up on Halloween; oh, by the way, Jamie has a psychic connection with Michael and him to her, I guess. Bye dark, cathartic ending of Halloween 4. So Michael is killing people again, hunting Jamie again, leading to a standoff at Myers childhood home with Loomis and Jamie. Oh and there’s a spooky guy in black lurking around.

Why this movie exists, I don’t really know. Michael looks ridiculous with his over-sized  mask that makes him look like a human bobble-head, most of the characters you can’t wait for Michael to kill off, and what the hell is up with the stupid opening credits. Pleasance and Harris give it there all, and bless them for trying but sadly it doesn’t save them this crapfest a bit. You can skip this sequel and you ain’t missing a damn thing. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Greg Davies:You Magnificent Beast (2018)

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Greg Davies, You Magnificent Beast, but as he is quick to point out does not include himself. This older European man touches on everything from being a horrible teacher, but not a real teacher, a drama teacher as he points out, to how manscaping suddenly became a thing.

The show starts out a bit slow, at first I didn’t think I would like it and that is odd because I normally like that style of humor. It doesn’t take long however for him to catch his stride and by the end I was laughing quite a bit. Greg is a bit up and down tho it does seem quite by design more than being a hit and miss comedian. I can’t recommend his show for everyone, but for those that enjoy that over seas semi dry British/European style humor will enjoy it. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers

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So, let’s get this out of the way first: no I haven’t reviewed Halloween 1-3 yet. I decided to start with the “Thorn” trilogy as well as Resurrection (just because it’s such a wonderful comedy). Don’t worry, in October we’ll get the rest, but for now let’s jump into the adventures of that lovable scamp Michael Myers.

Halloween 4 begins a decade after the events of the first two. Michael, covered in burns, has been in a coma and is getting transferred to a new hospital. That is until he discovers he has a young niece in Haddonfield and busts out. Dr Loomis, seriously deformed and traumatized from his last encounter, is on the hunt for Michael again. Michael’s niece, Jamie Lloyd, has nightmares about the murderous uncle she never met and the kids at her school taunt her for it; her best friend is her big foster sister, Rachael. As Michael comes home, piling the bodies on a new rampage, it becomes evident Jamie might be closer to her uncle then she believes because evil never dies after all…

Halloween 4 is not a terrible movie, nor is it the worst in the franchise. There are some unintentionally funny as hell moments scattered throughout and quite frankly, Michael’s mask looks kind of dopey. The Ted Hollister part is one of my favorite funny parts in a horror movie. As for the story, it’s fair for a sequel with above average characters and acting as well as a cathartic ending that I feel would have been a good ending for the series but yanno, money. Like much of the series, Donald Pleasance shines as Loomis with a damn good first appearance by Danielle Harris as Jamie. In the end, it’s a fair horror sequel worth checking out if you loved the classic. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Dead Island Definitive Edition (PS4)

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Dead Island is one of those games I missed its original release for, but I always heard mixed things on. There is no story or there is a great story you just have to go looking for it or the game play sucks or it is great. Just all over the place. So I will put this part out-of-the-way first.

Tell me that isn’t one of the best songs in a game opening ever? I dare you. Did you say it? If you did you might be a damn liar. I don’t even like rap music. Anyway back to the review, the game has its issues. The game does have a cool story, but you do really have to go looking for it. Seriously, most of the story is hidden in note books and cards and stuff. If you don’t go exploring you will miss quite a bit of it.

Another issue, your weapons will break a lot. And you can not carry many of them especially at first. You can repair them thankfully but this cost money, even if you built them yourself which makes very little sense. I don’t know why I can use tape, a battery and some wires to build an electrified baseball bat but for some reason it cost me 50 bucks to fix it and $350 to upgrade what I just built. Makes no damn sense.

That being said, I did enjoy the story, the missions are fun and running around with friends on a tropical island bashing zombies with bats and stuff is fun. I loved the leveling up system was fun and different enough with each character that they all felt different enough to be worth trying. For all its faults if you are a fan of the zombie genre its worth picking up, especially if you can grab it on sale like I did. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Sleepaway Camp

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Many people have claimed Friday the 13th was a knock off of Halloween and then some would say Sleepaway Camp is a Friday the 13th knock off but on both counts I disagree. Sleepaway Camp is not a good movie, but holy crap it’s freaking awesome.

After a freak boating accident ( for a lack of a better word), Angela is left traumatized after witnessing her dad and brother’s death. 8 years later she lives with her whacky Aunt Martha and cousin Ricky, and is about to go to camp. Normal hijinks ensue like games, first love, and murder. People are dropping from a (cough) mysterious killer and Ricky is seemingly suspect, because no one would ever suspect poor, catatonic Angela…

I know it seems like I spoiled the ending but I assure you, the twist end of this is one of the best  WTF ending to a movie I’ve ever seen. In fact, if you and your friends are getting together for a movie night, this is a great drunk movie. The characters are over the top with a lot of messed up quotable lines. There are some memorable kills and a laughably over dramatic score. If you want a serious horror movie, this may not be for you but if you want a great WTF experience, this is worth a shot. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

 

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So we finally get a live action adaptation of the classic novel the Jungle- hey, wait a second, didn’t we get one of these a couple years ago? Regardless, we’re getting what seems to be a darker adaptation with different actors. I’m a huge fan of the actors for both film but so far I like the vibe the new one brings, especially with Christian Bale, Benedict Cumberbatch, and Cate Blanchett lending there voices. I like that Mowgli looks a bit more feral with this movie which looks cool. I’m interested in the concept and I do want to see more. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Citizens of Earth (PS4)

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Did you ever wonder what it would be like to run around as a nitwit Vice President, recruit other people and make them do weird stuff like beat up stop signs and crabs with road cones on their heads? No? I didn’t either. However with Citizens of Earth you can find out.

That is the main premise of this game, you are the Vice President of Earth, home on vacation after winning the election. When your mom, brother and yourself decide to go for coffee and run into a protest you quickly run into some weird stuff, not the protest that actually makes sense. Your character is a complete idiot, nobody understands how you won including the gardener of your office.

The story is fun and the enemies are strange, such as a deer with a telephone on its head. The game is silly, and it never tries to take itself as anything else. The turn based battle system is pretty basic and can be repetitive and most of the 40 characters really are just there, but are all pretty viable in use. In fact most of the game seems to be spent just recruiting them. There is a demo available that is free to try that I recommend you try, if you like the demo you will like the game. That is essentially what the game is with no real variation, I myself enjoyed it. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Spider-man 3

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Look at this picture. This picture describes this film as well as describing my reactions after watching Spider-man 3. It’s epic to see, at first; many would notice the fact the famed “black suit” is basically just the normal costume painted grey and black, and there is no Venom symbol and something seems off in the back of your mind but you can’t tell why or what. Well, if you loved the first two, get ready to be depressed when potential gets devoured by a horrible black  CGI goo.

Not long after the second movie, Peter’s life is almost perfect: he’s doing great at school, he’s about to marry Mary Jane, and the city loves Spider-man. So what’s wrong? Harry gave in to his demons and with daddy’s toys and leftover crazy juice becomes the “New Goblin” ( aka the Samurai Snowboarder with a slight Halloween vibe) but is quickly defeated, losing his memory of his hate and knowledge of pretty much last two movies. On top of that, Peter discovers that Uncle Ben’s real killer is still on the loose and has been transformed into the Sandman. After his rage starts burning in him, a black space ooze creeps up on his ass and gives him a black suit making him stronger, more aggressive and 50 times more emo, leading him to go down a “dark” path where he may not be able to return from. Oh, and Venom and Gwen Stacey are in this dumpster fire too…

Nerds and Spidey fans all around the world groaned when his bummer dropped. The plot is bloated as hell and none of them are really developed to there full potential. James Franco, despite the stupid outfit, was my favorite part of the main cast, actually feeling like he actually cared to try; Thomas Haden Church tried like hell to give a good performance as Sandman but I felt the script made his character laughably pitiful. The rest of the actors just kinda feel like they are phoning it in; J.K Simmons was by far the absolute best part of this thing. Venom, fan favorite and one of Marvel’s most beloved characters looks like shit and is so damn rushed it hurts. There’s a scene so infamous, and I try most know of it ( the Jazz Club) that killed a small part of me inside. Sandman’s effects are stunning but on the whole, the fights and symbiote CGI are lackluster at best. Friends, instead of ripping this movie a new ass hole, I’m going to give it to you straight: this was the first movie that ever gave me amnesia- no that is not an over-exaggeration. I did not remember it as soon as the end credits rolled; I told myself it wasn’t real, after how awesome the first two were, this couldn’t be the end. But it was. Friends don’t let friends watch Spider-man 3, but I’ll let you see how my hopes were puffed up like a gentle souffle only to be popped by the pin of reality and studio interference. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

 

Black Ops 4: Single Player Dead, Battle Royale Mode Alive

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Treyarch has officially confirmed what has long since been rumored, on October 12th Call of Duty Black Ops 4 will release with no single player mode, but will have a Battle Royale mode called Blackout tho Mark Lamia, Treyarch Chairman, said they are “weaving narrative into each of the modes.” The other 2 modes of course being multiplayer and zombie. While many people are upset by this many others seem to be quite excited. I for one however will not be buying this one. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.