Category: Game reviews

Final Fantasy Tactics (PlayStation One)

I have a history with this game. And that history is not good. See I got into a trap with the first battle that lets you save in between fights. I didn’t create a different save. Then i got stuck and couldn’t win..restart the whole damn game..then my memory card broke…then my PlayStation broke..then disk broke. Then my new disk didn’t work. This took about a year to straighten out.

After that year I was treated to one of the most glorious games ever created. The job system was put together to damn near perfection, with each one leading to a bigger and better one and each choice leading to a new tactical advantage or weakness.

The battle system itself requires strategy and thought and can be punishing to mistakes, but it is also fair and rewarding to good decisions.

The graphics for the time looked great and even now for a retro game are passable and fun to look at with sound that was amazing. But all that fails in comparison to one thing.

The story. This was easily the most mature story in the Final Fantasy world and to this day in my opinion still is. Two war torn countries killing each other for power, while the poor starve and the high born nobles struggle to win favor with the ruling class and consider the poor as nothing more than animals.

This game should not be missed by anyone, even people that don’t normally play this type of game should give it a chance. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Happy Gilmore (1996)

Adam Sandler day continues..Well i do two a day so I guess ends with Happy Gilmore. First off I just realised both Billy Madison and Happy Gilmore are over 20 years old. I also saw both of these movies when they first came out..I saw them on VHS…Yea that one hurts.

Anyway Happy Gilmore is the story of, you guessed it, Happy Gilmore. Wannabe hockey player that loves his grand mother. When she loses her home he weirdly discovers an undiscovered talent for whacking gold balls. And knocking people off roofs.

One day while hustling people for money at the local driving range he is convinced there is some big money to be made in professional golf, and he does want to get his grandmothers house back

Happy Gilmore is actually quite a bit better than Billy Madison. Plus it had a fight with Bob Barker and that was amazing.

Turns out while hockey players are great at smacking the ball great distances they don’t do well at putting. They also don’t do well at playing quietly games that don’t involve beating people up and throwing things.

His feud with “Shooter” McGavin may be one of my favorites in movie history, and if you somehow are an Adam Sandler fan and haven’t seen this one, you need to. Beat wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory

Billy Madison (1995)

Today is Adam Sandler day people. Well for me. I don’t know what the hell Torsten is doing if anything. He may be vanishing again for a bit.

Anyway this is the story of rich kid Billy Madison, who is as dumb as a box of rocks, a word he coincidentally can not spell since silent letters don’t even get added to the word as far as he is concerned. He did graduate high school tho since he dad paid his teachers to pass him.

One day while drunk with his friends and chasing an invisible penguin around on dirty magazine day he discovers his dad is retiring from running his business and his douchbag friend is taking over. Unless he can spend 2 weeks in each grade and pass.

This movie came out back when Sandler playing the same character was still amusing to every one it seemed tho admittedly I still enjoy his movies. The antics that follow suit range from childishly making fun of a kid stuttering while trying to read to strip study sessions and even throwing water on his pants in a heart touching moment when a kid pees his pants to save the child from being eternally mocked and made fun of.

Admittedly the movie is not very good. Its simply fun for people that enjoy that style of comedy. The story is simplistic as is the dialogue and at no point is it deep or thought provoking. It simply exist. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Beyond Oasis

Sega Forever strikes again with another classic for the Sega Genesis in Beyond Oasis. Once again this is a pretty faithful recreation. The controls work as well on the touch screen of a cell phone as well as it ever did on the Sega controller.

Graphically the game looks good and I didn’t hit any issues with slow downs or lag or anything like that. The sound also sounded good. If you enjoyed the original and want to play again now is the chance. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

WWE 2K18

WWE 2k18. Have to be honest, been a very long time since I bought a wrestling game. I played WWE 2K17 for the Xbox on a free play weekend and I have to say. It was brutal. The game was not good. I hated the reversal system, it wasn’t very responsive at all. In fact I almost did not buy 2K18. Some friends said it was trash some said it was great. I basically flipped a coin and picked it up on sale for the PSN sale.

I have to say the controls are a huge improvement over last years. The reversal system is far easier to use and more responsive. They aren’t exactly easy by the way, it will take some time to master or even truly get the hang of it.

Graphically the game looks good, best looking wrestling game I personally have ever played. That being said it is far from being a modern marvel. Its simply an average looking game. There are also some minor glitches where characters pick people up but aren’t quite touching people and things of that nature.

Another thing that many modern gamers may hate is it seems like almost everything is locked from the start. Most moves, around 80 characters, entrances hell even the advance entrances are locked for my career mode. You have to buy what the game calls loot crates to unlock them. This is done with in game currency earned simply by playing the game and is earned in every game mode as far as I can tell. Its a throw back to the old days when you were rewarded for playing a game and not having a fat wallet.

Now as I said earlier, I don’t buy wrestling games often, so many of these things are new to completely new to me. For example walking around the locker room my friends character is just hanging out sitting on a a crate. Another friend was standing next to a wall after I won the NXT title. I didn’t even know this was a thing but apparently its not new. I think many of the flaws were lost on me since so many of these things were new for me. So coming from a guy returning to the WWE gaming universe after a very long hiatus, now is a good time to return. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you greatness.

The Sims 4 Console

The Sims 4 finally comes to console. Having never played the PC version I can’t confirm if the claim that its the same on both PC and console is true, but it is the most complete version I have played on console.

Graphically as expected the game is beautiful and unlike other games in the series on console I didn’t experience any real slow downs or frame rate drops on PS4 which I really expected. The sound was also better than I expected so those were nice surprises.

The game play itself is pretty much the same as all the other Sims games. You create a character, get a job, forge relationships and live your life while doing things you normally would. I chose to make Darth Vader and turn him into a pro gamer since I assumed he could use the force to cheat.

All in all any fan of The Sims should pick this up and if you are curious now is a great time to jump in, tho most of you will want to wait for a sale. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Batman: Arkham Knight

arkham knight

The epic conclusion to the Arkham trilogy, and yes, though the twist made many a comic fan groan, it still is a epic game.

Joker is dead, but Gotham’s problems aren’t over. Scarecrow has returned with a more damaging and drastic version of his infamous toxin and a new foe has come to his aid. Armed with a badass suit and an army of trained badasses against Batman’s tactics, the Arkham Knight has come. On top of this, Batman is haunted by the death of his greatest enemy and we see Joker’s final plot come to fruition; his blood is mutagenic, causing his likeness and madness to spread through it’s victims like a virus.With everything Batman has built crashing all around him, can he survive when all seems lost?

So, first, I’m not going to spoil what I know pissed off a lot of people- the true identity of the Arkham Knight. That being said, the game’s story is great all around and we get perhaps one of Hamil’s greatest ever performances as Joker. Visually the game is breathtaking and the gameplay is honed beautifully, including the new Batmobile stuff. Besides playing as the Bat, we get to take command of his epic ride and actually get to fight alongside the Bat family and Catwoman in pretty damn fluid combat. It’s a nerds wet dream. Many of the problems I had with City got fixed. The only real issues I have is that you can’t get the real end until you beat the game with it’s overabundance of Riddler shit and some of the Batmobile shit is annoying after awhile. Overall, I highly recommend it even if the reveal wasn’t great. Best Wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

DC Universe Online

dcuo

My old roommate Gambit used to be utterly obsessed with this game, and for the most part he ain’t even a DC fan except for Flash and Wonder Woman. First time I saw it action, I was blown away but the level of customization. DC Universe Online is a MMORPG that can be played on PC or PlayStation 3 and 4.

The main story is Brainiac is attacking Earth and the JLA gets informed by Lex Luthor from the future that he very well can kill the planet. Meanwhile, through Exobytes that are releasing powers in ordinary people, the JLA has to try to stop Brainiac…but not all are heroes. We create our own characters from scratch: allegiance to good or evil, which mentor we will follow (Superman, Batman, or Wonder Woman/ Luthor, Joker, and Circe), our costumes, our powers, weapons and means of transportation. For example: my first character is a ice villain that flies, uses hand blasters, and follows Luthor. There’s a shit load of options at start which is really cool. The roster of heroes and villains we meet in game is amazing and epic to behold; it was a dream come true to stand with Jon Stewart and Killowag and fight Sinestro, defend Gotham from a fear gas attack by Scarecrow, or help Grodd beat Flash into the ground. But for all the game has to offer, there is one teeny tiny drawback: FUCKING PAY WALL! You’re able to get your character through the opening levels and up to tier 3 of 8 before it sets in, but I guarantee you, the game gets 50 times more incredible behind the pay wall. Also, many of the insanely strong powers lay behind there too like red lanterns, atomic, and celestial powers for example. Getting into a PVP match against these powers can wreck you quick if you aren’t very well equipped. It’s $15 a month and once and a while I play but I can’t keep up with it. Overall, it’s a really cool game with a gaping flaw. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Batman: Arkham Origins

arkham0

I wanted to talk about this when Christmas was closer because it is in fact a Christmas game, but I think holidays are holidays. So I saw the trailer and was blown away but the cinematic sharpness and come on, watching Batman and Deathstroke face off only to interrupted by Deadshot was amazing. So what happened?..

It’s Xmas Eve in Gotham. Batman is relatively fresh being a vigilante only pumping out a year or two at this point. Most of the police are corrupt as hell and a spunky Detective named Jim Gordon wants to take Batman down as well as the other trash in Gotham. The cruel gangster Roman Sionis, aka Black Mask, is fed up with Batman and decides to deliver an enticing offer to eight assassins to have Batman dead by Xmas morning and the killer will have a shit load of cash. These assassins are Killer Croc, Deadshot, Deathstroke, Firefly, Copperhead, Shiva, Electrocuitoner, and Bane. I loved it so far until one question popped up, and after that I groaned…”Who’s the Joker?” Yep, this entire game boils down to the first time Batman and Joker met, oh and the first time Bane used super roids.

For the most part, Origin feels like a glitchier version of Arkham City with a Xmas skin on it. Without internet, this thing kept freezing more than my experience with the trilogy combined. Not to say there isn’t fun. Fighting is just as fun and many of the boss battles are fun to play. Deathstroke steals the show as probably the best Arkham boss fight to date, followed closely with Firefly. The story isn’t bad on a whole but it becomes apparent a lot of the Dark Knight trilogy found its way into this thing: Joker’s face has been cut, Bane looks and speaks like Tom Hardy’s version, and Batman growls when he talks. Ugh, Batman pissed me off in this game. He ends up being a selfish, know-it-all asshole most of the game; Conroy doesn’t do the voice either, nor did Hamil return as Joker. Baker does a fair shot at Joker, I give him that. I’d say if you loved City, Origins is worth a single playthrough but not much further than that. I ain’t going to trash it but I won’t count it among the trilogy. Best wishes everyone and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

In The Army Now (1994)

This movie has a special place in my heart, not only because Pauly Shore makes me laugh (and no I can’t explain why) but I did my basic and AIT at Fort Sill Oklahoma where parts of this movie were filmed. Was pretty cool to see the places the movie was filmed. Anyway on to why you are here.

The movie is about two losers that join the Army reserves because they really don’t have much choice after they lose their job. They also have no clue what they are signing up for. Besides Paul knows a pool boy, how hard can it be?

Turns out in a time of war in a desert country such as Chad,a water purification unit is highly likely to be called to active duty.

So these two idiots and their new friends from basic, G.I. Jane and G.I. dentist are off to the desert to clean some water and piss off some special forces.

I won’t spoil the story to much for you, the movie is honestly just some cheap laughs like most of Shore’s movies with a story that is decent but hardly anything spectacular. If you like comedies its worth a watch but most people should probably skip it. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.