Antebellum trailer

I do love when random horror trailers pop up in my YouTube feed. Antebellum looks pretty interesting for a lot of reasons. I like the historical throwbacks rather than looking like a straight demonic ghost story. The cinematography looks good and the producers behind it look promising. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Loch

loch

Here we have a request from my friend Autobot, who has a love of Cryptozoology; this review is for you kid.

Loch, nicknamed after the famous Loch Ness  Monster, is fascinated by legendary sea life and the expeditions he and his sister get to join the there dad on. There dad, Sam Perkins, is a  big marine biologist who is sadly working for a dick named Cavenger who is obsessed with capturing a monster of his own. During a expedition to a quiet lake, prehistoric beasts are discovered, the most powerful of which kills a cameraman. While picnicking, Loch and his sister Zaidee uncover a baby creature they call Wee Beastie, a friendly, playful creature that means no harm. Cavenger is on the warpath, assembling a stock of high powered munitions to gun the creatures down. Can Loch, Zaidee, and Cavenger’s daughter Sarah save the creatures before it’s too late…

Loch is a pretty short and sweet book meant for younger folks between I’d say ages 8-13. There are a surprising amount of gory deaths that younger readers will find cool that aren’t overly graphic. The main characters are fun and the story is overall pretty solid; I like that it doesn’t sequel bait, unlike something like this made in modern day would be. The pacing of the book is good, only taking me two days to finish reading it. In the end it’s a solid monster book I’d recommend for younger folks. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Pure

pure

I have to say, reading the synopsis for this film, watching the trailer, and seeing the movie I can’t help but feel bait and switched. I was expecting something like Stepford Wives meets the Wicker Man. I was pretty damn mistaken…

Shay is on her way to her first Purity Retreat with her dad and sister, a family she is still new to. During this retreat, the girls celebrate there virginity and purity by signing contracts during the forthcoming Purity Ball. With no phones, dressed all in white for those 3 days, they are contorted by the radical beliefs of pastor Seth. One night, Shay and a few girls have some fun and perform a ritual summoning the mythic Lilith Seth always speaks about. Strange things begin to happen as Shay begins to realize this camp may not be a harmless thing after all…

I have some positives before I drop some huge negatives. The cinematography was good and the main actresses were pretty solid. The movie has a lot to say about overbearing men in religious positions of power and some discussions could be started because of this movie. As for the negatives, the rest of the movie. Not much really happens in the movie and what does is either surprisingly tame or just lame; there is a ludicrous amount of obnoxious jump scares throughout. The indie music they play gets annoying quick too, especially when the damn jump scares follow. I can see a lot of the views expressed in this movie pissing someone off pretty bad. A lot of the male actors I felt weren’t great. In the end, I can’t really recommend this Hulu original because it has a good premise but a mostly crap execution. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Failure To Launch (2006)

Some of you may have noticed I am kind of a sucker for romantic comedies. So when I was flipping through Hulu and saw this I needed to check this one out again for old times sake. Last time I saw it I was kind of hammered hanging out with my now ex-wife and now married with two kids and living out of state best friend. So you can see, things have changed quite a bit for the old Savior in the last 13 years. In fact, I wasn’t even Savior yet. I was just a dude working at Gamestop.

Anyway, on to the movie, Tripp (Matthew McConaughey) is a 35-year-old man that lives at home and sells boats for a living. He sells boats and makes pretty good money. He just won’t move out. His parents eventually decide to hire professional help. Enter Paula (Sarah Jessica Parker). Paula specializes in getting men like this to move out.

This goes as you would think it does. After a meet-cute is set up, and a few dates they both start to fall for each other. This is where Tripp decides to end things and take Paula home to find out he lives at home with mom and dad. When Paula doesn’t freak out because of course she already knows. This upsets his parents because they know this is his break up move.

A bit later of course in true romantic comedy fashion, she gets caught by one of his friends and it gets back to him and they stop speaking. They realize how much they love each other and their friends and family put them back together. We all know from the beginning this is how these movies end. The thing is how was the journey to get to this point. The journey is funny, entertaining and the chemistry with the cast just works from top to bottom. There is no real reason not to watch this one. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Outlast 2

outlast 2

I tried…I really, really tried. I tried my ass off to hop on the Outlast bandwagon. When I wrote 5 more games that were a huge bummer , I briefly talked about my experience with the first game. When the second game came out I gave it a week long shot, driving myself forward after the Outlast 3 announcement trailer . As I said dear readers, I freaking tried…

We play as Blake, a journalist investigating a series of brutal kidnappings and homicides in the deserts with his wife and fellow journalist, Lynn. Unexpectedly, in the dead of night, there chopper gets shot down and crashes on the outskirts of a rundown old mining town. The deformed, mad townsfolk take Lynn to appease there twisted religion and it’s up to a helpless Blake to rescue his wife and uncover these isolated atrocities while uncovering his own childhood sins as well…

Sin is the name of this game and I warn those with weak stomachs, don’t even bother. This game is gory as hell and there is some great imagery and some great, intense atmospheres. The graphics are pretty impressive. The sound is really good, though the chase gets really annoying really fast. The story has promise but most of it is told through missing bible pages and hidden notes and a lot of it feels cliche. My biggest problem is the gameplay itself. Running is 90% of the game’s content; hiding is hit and miss at best but most of the time running, even not knowing where the hell I was going, solved most of my problems. The night vision on the camera, which is a vital tool in the game, drains batteries super quick so you constantly have to keep a look out. I’m fine with the idea of flight over fight but it’s irritating as shit to get killed by these withered meth-head looking motherfuckers in surroundings loaded with dangerous farming tools and all you have is a damn camera; I mean seriously, a rational bastard would at least swing at these nut jobs.  In the end, Outlast 2 is meh at best but I really can’t get the hype over the series. I won’t tell anyone not to try the series, but I will tell you this game will piss you off. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

A Quiet Place

a quiet place

We live in a age where it’s been said every idea has been done. When I saw the trailer for this last year, it looked like a breath of fresh air, especially in a era of remakes, reboots, and sequels.

A Quiet Place is a story of a family’s survival where sound means a swift death. There are mysterious creatures that hunt via sound so silence is the key to living another day; they are blind but incredibly fast and armored with acute hearing. The mother of this family is due to have a baby and the near yeah and a half has taken a toll on the whole family. But what can you do when you’re alone, giving birth, and the monsters come out?

This is a perfect example of a simple premise followed through damn well. The actors are great as a family dealing with tragedy, loss, fear and love in a quiet world; it was impressive how much emotion they conveyed through facial expressions, body language, and sign language. The score is amazing and crucial to the film. It’s filmed fantastically and I love the creature designs. With all these positives, I can say this movie won’t be for everyone. 98% of the movie is told through subtitles, you don’t find out much about the monsters, and it’s based on suspense rather than gore or jump scares. Regardless of how you may feel about it, I highly recommend it and it’s one of the biggest standout horror movies I’ve seen in a while. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Total Recall

total recall

As a kid Arnold Schwarzenegger was my favorite actor, and while he hasn’t been in many great movies in a long time, the dude never sleepwalks through a movie. Surprisingly, unlike many, I never saw Total Recall until a few days ago. I was in for a hell of a ride…

Douglas Quaid is a normal dude with a lame ass job who keeps having strange dreams about Mars. He wants to take a trip to the colonies up there but his wife refuses to go. To spice his dull life up, he goes to the Recall center, where they implant memories of your choosing into your brain to reinvent your reality. Doug ops to be a secret agent. He gets way more than he bargained for when armed men start trying to kill him, he discovers his wife is a spy and corporate assassin, and the memories weren’t fully implanted. Doug heads to Mars, unraveling the reality before him while starting a a revolution on the red planet in the process…

Total Recall is a fun, batshit WTF movie that’s pretty awesome. It’s a good blend of action, suspense and deep sci-fi that never feels preachy. Schwarzenegger sells the movie and makes it fun without losing the cool cerebral points the movie is trying to make. Visually there is some really cool scenery and even a three boobed prostitute. The pacing lags at times and I admit the plot has moments where it’s hard to follow so you have to pay attention more then your typical action movie. Overall, Total Recall is a fun and thoughtful sci-fi action movie I’d recommend checking out. May the gaming gods bring you glory.