Pet Sematary 2019

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Pet Sematary is what made me a Stephen King fan as a little kid, making me feel uneasy in the fact cemeteries are always a two minute walk away from everywhere I’ve ever lived. The story means a great deal to me so I was a bit irritable when the remake was announced and hinted in the The Dark Tower . But if It (2017) was any indication, I was willing to give it a shot knowing that it sure as hell wasn’t going to be the story I knew. Was I right to be worried?

The Creeds are a normal family who move into a picturesque farm house in the middle of the country. Lewis is a Dr who wants to slow down and spend time with wife Rachael and kids spirited Ellie and baby Gage and Church the cat. While exploring the back woods, Ellie stumbles upon a creepy procession of kids in animal masks going to bury a dead dog in the Pet Sematary, where kids have buried there pets for generations says Judd Crandall, the Creed’s neighbor. Much the like original Lewis is being warned by the ghost of Pascow who he tried to save to avoid the Sematary, or rather what’s behind the dead fall. Some barriers were not meant to be crossed…

I give this remake credit, it does play with your expectations of either the original or the novel and that’s where it’s strongest. It was a huge mistake I believe to ruin the big twist that sets it apart in the trailers; I’m not going to spoil it but I actually really like how it turns out. The performances are really good but the girl that played Ellie I thought was fantastic and I hope to see more of her. The new imagery is cool but somehow feels close to the original. I warn people, do not go in expecting a A to B adaptation but more of a what if type of scenario. A few times the pacing was off throughout all three acts, sometimes dragging but other times feeling a little too fast,  and there is a WTF moment involving a cow I’m sure Savior is going to bring up in his review that made us laugh. while I’ve heard others say there was too much exposition, I feel too much of Judd’s backstory was cut out and the Wendi-go stuff  was mostly irrelevant. Overall, Pet Sematary is a good remake and a good, solid horror movie I recommend to all needing a good scare this spring. May the gaming gods bring you glory and remember…sometimes dead is indeed better.

 

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Shazam!-2019 (Savior)

Everyone is going to give you a big long post about How Shazam is really Captain Marvel. It is a long story that is only interesting to uber-nerds and fans of the legal system. So long story short, long before Marvel existed Shazam was Captain Marvel, DC sued the creator, eventually, DC ended up with the trademark for the story of Captain Marvel (Shazam) and Marvel copyrighted the name Captain Marvel for their character. Around 2012 DC changed the name to Shazam became most people that was his name anyway.

Anyway, as for the movie. It is an origin story for Shazam and how Billy Batson got his powers. In his case, he got them from a wizard in need of a champion before his powers were gone to fight the seven deadly sins that escaped when Dr. Thaddeus received their powers when he was pissed The Wizard decided he wasn’t worthy years earlier.

The movie looks pretty good, is well acted and is quite funny. Watching Billy and his brother Freddy figure out his powers is great and happily, the best parts aren’t given away in the previews. There is even a nice cameo from another DC hero.

I also enjoyed the fact that they know the type of character they have, and the history he has with DC and embraced it. I don’t want to spoil it, but it was a pleasant surprise. I do have a couple complaints tho. First, there were a couple spots that the CGI looked a bit cheap compared to the rest of the movie, most notably with the seven deadly sins. My biggest issue is the movie is over 2 hours long and it feels about 30 minutes longer than it needed to be. The ending just dragged for me and it isn’t that I didn’t enjoy it because the ending was good, it just felt like the dragged it on longer than it needed to be just to make the movie longer. It was, however, one of the best DC movies I have seen. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Chernobyl Diaries

chernobyl diaries

I’m a huge sucker for movies about mutation and messed up crap happening to the human body- such that a book took 16 years and counting of my life somewhat on the very subject. But there are some ideas, some stories that I swear no one really thinks of the basic logic behind them. Case in point- who in the fuck would randomly visit the site of Chernobyl as a casual tourist stop? I know many horror movies take a leap of faith of some kind to get going but I think a group of young Americans saying “let’s visit Chernobyl”- site of one of the world’s worst nuclear incidents and still well contaminated to this day is stretching it.

Essentially that’s the plot in a nutshell: four friends are traveling through Europe and before hitting Moscow, one of them meets a old Russian soldier named Yuri that offers to show them sites many don’t get to see- the ruins of Chernobyl. The group, with Yuri and two other tourists goes and sees the vast, abandoned landscapes and deformed fish in the streams, but it seems they ain’t alone. Can they survive being hunted while being hit by the radioactive fallout?

While there are good pieces, as a complete product this movie is just silly. I liked the scenery and feeling of tense isolation. I liked the deformed fish in the stream and the WTF jump scare with the bear ( oh yes, that’s a thing.) That’s about it. The plot is ludicrous and I couldn’t feel shit for the characters because they were dumbasses to be in that situation in the first place. The movie is piled thick with jump scares and shaky cam whenever something does happen, but it’s not a found footage film. I can’t recommend this unless you are drinking or you need a bad movie night but stay away from it like its radioactive otherwise. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Shazam

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Haven’t we all wanted to be superheroes at one time or another? What if you could just utter a word and instantly with a streak of magic lightning be turned into the ultimate you? Super strong, fast, bulletproof, able to fly and control electricity are just some of the gifts bestowed on Billy Batson after crying out the name Shazam…

Billy Batson is a troubled youth, after losing his mom as a toddler he’s spent the better part of his life searching for her while doing everything in his power to ditch foster care. After so many families, Billy’s last chance is in a group home headed by two good people. After kicking the asses of some bullies picking on Freddie, his disabled, superhero obsessed foster brother, Billy’s life is changed on the subway when he’s taken to a dying wizard who passes on his powers to Billy, hoping he’ll stop a angry, demonic infused Thad Sivana who has unleashed the evils of the 7 deadly sins after being rejected to adopt the powers of Shazam as a kid. It’s all fun and games for Billy, using his newfound powers and body to live out most kids fantasies, but will he make the right choices when the time comes and become a real hero?

Unlike the dark as hell Batman Vs Superman or edgy wannabe Suicide Squad , the DCEU has turned over a new leaf starting with Wonder Woman and Aquaman . Shazam is a lot of fun but I have to say I prefer WW and Aquaman more. There is a surprising amount of heart in this movie and a lot of scenes that tug at your heart strings. All of the kids and family are great but Zachary Levi as Shazam steals the show, he’s funny as hell, energetic, and fun as the grown hero. While Mark Strong, always a great villain, is good here I couldn’t help feeling his character could’ve been made more compelling instead of cartoon like bad guy ( not to mention I wish he could have continued playing Sinestro in a Green Lantern sequel) I do have to say the pacing is off a few times and the movie does drag here and there but the end is way longer than it has to be. Another issue I have is the CGI on the sins isn’t great and kinda took me out of what could have been some great scenes. In the end, Shazam isn’t perfect but it’s a good time I’d say worth checking out. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

 

Pet Sematary, 2019 (Savior)

So I feel I should tell you, I am probably going to make some statements that some may feel are a bit controversial. Some may agree, some may not. Feel free to berate me in the comments.

First, let me say this. The 2019 version of Pet Sematary is better than the 1989 version. Second, the 1989 version wasn’t all that good anyway. Third, how did I not realize the movie was spelled with an S?

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That really isn’t important, just weird I never noticed. On to the review. If you are reading this, I am sure you read the book or saw the original. In the grand scheme of things, the story hasn’t changed. Doctor Louis moves with his family to the country to slow down and spend more time with the family. His wife, Rachel as a troubled past that will come and go throughout the movie and then the kids Ellie and Gage try their best to adjust to the new life. Gage is young and his one job most of the movie and that is to be cute, and Hugo and Lucas (Yes twins) Lavoie do the job amazingly. Ellie (Jete Lawerence) also does a commendable job and plays her role very well tho I feel John Lithgow steals the show with his role as Jud.

As the movie goes on their cat, Church (sorry guys, no name here, Church was played by multiple cats) dies and Jud introduces Louis to what is beyond the place the locals bury their animals. To a place where the dead doesn’t stay dead. The cat comes back as we all know, but Church isn’t what he used to be. The friendly cat is hissing and scratching and bringing home dead animals and even stops Louis from getting some man and wife time with Rachel. The cat is truly evil.

Now I don’t want to go any further in the story as there are some changes, and you will be happy to know it has been reported a few places that the man Stephen King himself approved of the changes. I enjoyed the changes personally tho I do have to admit while the movie was good enough (but not great) it isn’t a very good book to movie adaptation. It was, however, a good movie. If you are looking for an accurate to the book experience you are not going to get it. If you are looking to simply be entertained, this is worth a watch. Tho before I go, anyone that has seen the movie can you answer a question for me and @torstenvblog? How the hell did they get the cow to the burial place? Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Friday The 13th (2009)

There is so much an so little to say about the 2009 reboot on Friday The 13th. For example, Jared Padalecki plays the role of Clay amazingly. Tho we can debate how good of a character Clay actually is. This perfectly sums up the whole movie really. For everything the movie does right, there is a counterpoint that makes you question why some decisions were made. The opening scene, in fact, the opening credits are essentially the first movie done in about 2 minutes ending with the beheading of Jason’s mom with a machete. After this Jason as a child finds the machete and locket and a killer is born. This leads to the movie and the introduction of the characters. Well sort of.

We then meet a group of kids whose names I won’t bother telling you because in typical Friday the 13th fashion they are all basically going to have sex and get murdered. To the movies credit the murders are amazing and I won’t spoil them. Now, the opening credits end with a title shot of the movie name. Yes, this was the opening scene and nobody you have seen is a main character in the movie nor are they all that important except of course one.

Finally, we come to the movie itself. Fans of the series will be happy and sad. I say this because in the ’80s and 90’s all you wanted of a slasher flick was boobs and a body count and that is all you will get. You will be sad tho because all you will really get is boobs and a body count, and it is 2009. The formula hasn’t changed, the story is bare bones and the little attempts they have made at a story leave you scratching your head. Now I will be spoiling huge chunks of the movie in the next paragraph. The movie is 10 years old, if you haven’t seen it by now I assume the interest is not there. Feel free however to stop reading now and know that I was entertained, but did not feel the movie was good.

You guys ready for spoilers? Seriously if not, stop now. Go. You were warned. They spent a very large part of the movie-making Jason out to be a regular guy. He was a kid, grew up into a man. Built a ton of stuff, feels pain, misses his mother the whole nine yards. Then this dude gets stabbed through the chest and gets his head sliced up by a wood chipper. For reasons, I can’t understand they untie him and toss him in the lake. Now there was no need for this but surprise, twist ending. Jason leaps up through the dock and the movie ends with Jason grabbing Clay’s sister.  Basically, Jason goes from regular dude to immortal and doesn’t come back to life until they dump him in the lake. Worse off, the twist ending leaves you to assume his sister dies and he probably died trying to save her. Who knows tho, they have beat him once. It became a choose your own ending. A  decent enough movie was ruined by an ending that wasn’t even needed. Regardless, feel to let me know what you thought. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Deadpool vs Carnage

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A while back I talked about this story in my list of 5 of my favorite Deadpool stories and randomly before heading off to my job that ain’t Saviorgaming, I plucked this bad boy off my comic bookcase and started reading it for old time sake. Both insane, murderous, red wearing smartasses that are nearly unkillable, this was bound to get messy…

The story begins with Cleatus Kassidy, the human part of Carnage, in prison for the murder sprees and mayhem he’s known for. This time he’s broken into near sanity without his other. Nearly hundreds of miles away the Carnage symbiote is being experimented on, yearning for it’s perfect host to bond with again. It breaks free of captivity, leching from one body to another until reuniting with Kassidy, becoming Carnage once again- vowing to serve true chaos once again, ditching plans of bigger things and devoting himself to pure bloody anarchy. And that he does in a horrendous killing spree, virtually unopposed, until Wade catches him on the TV one night. Wade, Deadpool, believes the ” TV people” are telling him he’s the only one crazy enough to be able to hunt down psycho and with that, the hunt is on. Blood spills on both sides until Carnage’s girl Shriek joins him and Deadpool seems screwed but he finds the mysterious Mercury team, trying to use the symbiotes for military use and suddenly Wade finds himself trying to fight fire with fire…

A majority of this comic feels like a R rated, bloody lost episode of Looney Tunes and it’s awesome. Both characters are evenly badass and have sweet moments throughout. I like how Deadpool of all people is the voice of reason and we get a good glimpse of him being disgusted by Carnage’s ruthless nature, making a more complex contrast than expected. The artwork is really solid and like typical Marvel fashion there is a nice prologue in the beginning, explaining both characters for the new comers so it’s very easy to pick up. I recommend as a good, funny, action packed quick read. May the gaming gods bring you glory.