Category: Opinion

Claymore

claymore

Do you enjoy sexy ladies, giant monsters, crazy ass sword fights, or mi-devil stories? If you said yes to one or more of these things, Claymore is an anime for you. Set in what I take to be mid evil times, people are in fear of humaniod beasts called Yoma. These things are vicious as hell and pretty unkillable, except for a Claymore. A Claymore is a human female/ Yoma hybrid trained as a warrior to kill the beasts; they are faster, stronger, have ridiculously quick reflexes, and rarely age. It has to be a young woman that is changed, males don’t react favorable to the hybrid process. They are controlled by a mysterious Organization, who collect money for the Claymore clearing the town. So essentially they are pimps. Any way, our main focus is on a Claymore named Claire and her human companion boy Rocky as she aims to destroy a talented Claymore turned full Yoma who murdered Teresa, the once greatest Claymore and who had saved Claire as she herself saved Rocky.  I loved almost everything about this series but towards the end it starts to drag a little for me. While I usually don’t like happy endings, I was really invested in Claire and Rocky’s friendship, as I was Claire and Teresa’s. I love Skyrim and the scenery and score reminded me of it a little bit. This show features one of my favorite fights in all of anime, Teresa the ranked #1 Claymore vs 2-5 and it’s gorgeous and badass to watch. If you want a short but rich anime to watch, I highly recommend Claymore and you can find it all dubbed on Hulu. As always thank you and may the gaming gods be with you.

I am the pretty thing that lives in the house

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Be happy I love you Savior. This is probably the strangest bad thing I’ve reviewed so far. Things like Aliens: Colonial Marines were just flat out bad, and I’m going to tell you now I didn’t like this movie but it’s weird why not.

Much like the movie Darling I reviewed, this is a really artsy horror film. It centers around a young RN named Lily who moves into the house of a once famous author who’s suffering from severe dementia and has to take care of her. Iris Blum, her patient barely functions in her grand sterile white house…except for the rotting spot that develops in the wall. Lily is curious why Iris won’t call her anything but Polly and discovers the famous book Iris wrote was about a real woman named Polly Parsons who got murdered and buried in the wall and Polly told her the story…

I have to say the narrations for this movie are beautifully written. The cinematography is beautiful. The acting is strange and slightly off putting, which combined with how isolated the house feels and how quiet it is can be quite creepy. So why didn’t I like it? It’s boring. Plain and simple. The movie ends when it just feels like it’s starting to build up to something. The fact that there is rarely dialogue but narration, while as I said is well written, feels pretentious after a while. The ending flat out pissed me off with how anti-climatic it felt.  If this was a novella or short story, I’d call it a damn good one. As a movie, nah. I recommend this to a film student or aspiring writer like myself as a teaching tool but I can’t as a actual horror movie.  As always you guys are awesome, thank you for your time, and may the gaming gods be with you.

 

1922 trailer

1922

I’m glad Stephen King is jumping back into mainstream popularity again. Just sayin dude. Anyway, so I know Netflix is popping out a original movie for Gerald’s Game and now 1922, one of five stories from the collection Full Dark, No Stars. 1922 in a nutshell is the story of a farming family living in the titular year and how the father kills the mother and throws her in a old well and how the guilt destroy the lives of him and his son. From the brief trailer we got, the plot seems to be there. I’m glad the movie has a grounded feel to it, the actors actually look like a struggling farming  family and the ghostly images aren’t overly flashy. Overall, I think it’s a perfectly doable adaptation and I’m actually fairly excited for it. May the gaming gods be with you and as always thank you for reading.

Holidays

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Holidays isn’t so much a movie as a series of short stories combined to make up a movie, each story consisting of its own holiday such as Valentines day, Easter Halloween or even New Years Eve. Now they are honestly all of varying quality with Valentines day and Halloween being exceptionally good.

Valentines was fun, a swim team that is particularly fond of their coach looking for a new heart. Poor Maxine however is especially fond of him and also happens to be bullied and called Maxi-Pad. I obviously won’t ruin the ending but its a good one.

Halloween is another one that really stood out, and is written by Kevin Smith and actually stars his real life daughter. Three women working as cam workers finally have enough of their abusive live in boss. This one while not the most messed up of the bunch gets pretty brutal. This one definitely makes the list of movies worth checking out. Enjoy and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Cyborg: unplugged

cyborg unplugged

I’m going to admit, at first I was very pissed when it was announced Cyborg was going to be part of the JLA movie roster instead of Green Lantern. I liked Cyborg since my youth watching Teen Titans, but Green Lantern has been part of the team since the beginning. I searched for his solo comics on Amazon and was surprised at the lack of material he had; I wasn’t expecting a vast library for Cyborg but certainly more than I found. That being said, I was pleasantly surprised as a reader.

The story goes as such: The JLA are thrown into a fight with these creepy ass looking machine-creatures from the future. Vic Stone is with the rest of the league, fighting his heart off, but the things overpower him quite easily and seemingly kill Cyborg. Suddenly, he awakens after his tech goes through a mysterious but miraculous reboot that revives him but leaves him…different. Suddenly, some of his skin has returned while obtaining the mechanical features. We also begin to see people finding ways to implant cybernetics in themselves to either replace what is lost or enhance themselves. As Vic tries to discover what the hell is happening to him; the things that wrecked him have returned for his blood and the enhanced to stop a terrible fate..

I got really into this for one really good reason: Victor Stone as a character. He was was written with a lot of depth and relate able pain and issues but still had a wisecrack and a trademark BOOYAH while kicking ass- seriously if he doesn’t drop a BOOYAH in that damn JLA movie, I want my money back. The art was wonderful, both wondrous and creepy at times. I can’t say I was hugely invested in the story as a whole but the character of Cyborg kept me there for the run and now I’m wanting more. As always, thank you for reading and may the gaming gods be with you all.

No Tell Motel

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The typical road trip gone wrong story. A group of friends in a beat up old motor home going god knows where end up at an old abandoned motel. A motel with a dark ad deadly history. The story is actually not all that good and is quite dull most of the time, not really picking up until the last 20 minutes or so.

The acting is passable tho admittedly I never even remotely cared about the characters. It is far from being the worst movie i have seen lately, I am actually pretty sure many of you will enjoy it. I simply will did not. There are a couple of nice twist and turns that were kind of nice and I should warn you there are some seriously twisted moments in here that are not for the easily upset. By all means check this one out, but maybe don’t let the entire night depend on it. Thanks for your time and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Teen Titans

Teen Titans

Ah this is what I’m talking about, Teen Titans was one of the coolest cartoons I had growing up in the early 2000’s. Robin, Starfire, Beastboy, Raven, and Cyborg (the reason I’m bringing the show up in the first place.)- 5 young superhero friends that band together to fight evil. If you happened to read my top 10 favorite DC villains list, you would have seen Terra on there and Deathstroke on my list of DC badasses but besides them, for a lot of us the show was our introduction to other villains such as Brother Blood, H.I.V.E, Trigun, ending in a huge fight against the Brotherhood of Evil. Meanwhile other heroes popped up like Bumblebee, Aqualad, Speedy, and Hotspot. Teen Titans was one of those rare instances where the goofy anime styled comedy balanced perfectly with thick, grim story lines. Season 2 is a perfect example, introducing Terra as a volatile young woman who can’t control her powers but forms a budding romantic relationship with Beastboy, disappearing and returning at the end, her powers harnessed but at the cost of joining the sinister Slade who we hadn’t heard from his defeat in the previous season. Our heroes are flushed out well, beginning the show almost like archetypes, but growing throughout the show. I’ve always been pissed they never released the full seasons on hard copy, as far as I know, or streamed it on Netflix or Hulu. If you can watch the series, I seriously recommend it as probably the second best animated DC cartoon show I’ve ever seen. May the gaming gods bring you glory my friends.

The Orville

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So when I first heard about this show I was instantly intrigued. As most of you know I am a huge Star Trek fan, and this screamed Star trek as a comedy. Seeing a how it is unfair to judge a show off the first episode or 2 I waited 3. Now the show is far from being the best thing on television. That being said I do find myself enjoying it. I like a good ex wife joke which this joke has plenty of seeing as how the captain and his ex wife are in charge of the ship. And while many people are upset with how the third episode “About a girl” handled the concept of a new born child having its gender reassigned at birth and the whole transgender issue I believe the issue was more about how differently cultures few things which I thought it handled very well. The show is going to be hit and miss for many people as most of Seth Macfarlane’s work is, but I for one will be watching, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Revenge of the nerds

revenge of the nerds

My all time favorite comedy that every nerd needs to see at least once. Revenge of the nerds follows two best friends, Louis and Gilbert, that go start Adams College. It’s the school of there dreams, but every for every nerd there’s a jock. Enter the Alpha Betas, the big men on campus, the football players who drunkenly burn there own frat house down. Because they are your stereotypical assholes, they commander the freshmen house, casting them all out, including Louis and Gilbert. The refugees are forced to live in the gym until they get adopted by fraternities of there own; one by one people get taken but the lonely handful of nerds. So they have to band together and find a nice place of there own, but those damn Alpha Betas won’t let them be. For every dick act of the A-Bs, the nerds find a hilarious way to retaliate whether it’s stealing there cheerleaders panties, pouring liquid heat in there jock straps, or kicking there asses in the homecoming carnival. For how funny as hell the movie is, there is a good message I’d like to share with you: if you’re a nerd, be proud. I never forgot that. The nerds are all likable and Louis and Gilbert have great chemistry as best friends. The hi jinks are funny and raunchy but never really vulgar like many of today’s comedies so younger folks can get away with watching it. Overall, if  you need a good laugh I seriously recommend it to get in touch with your inner nerd.

Grabbers

grabbers

This movie is a solid enough movie with a cool premise to be worth checking out, but I have no clue what to classify this as. It can be a sort of horror monster type movie, but  I also would not argue with comedy. The movie starts with a female cop arriving at a small fishing island that is part of Ireland. After meeting some of the locals our lady hero meets her functional alcoholic partner and tosses him in the drunk tank mostly because she has no clue where he lives.

Eventually our sea monster will appear, an ugly tentacle monster that is allergic to alcohol.So what is a proper Irish lad and lass to do? Well get the entire town drunk so they can keep their blood of course.The movie has some small laughs and is quite charming and while it doesn’t fit into any one category it does everything quite well. I suggest you check this one out, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

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