Salem’s Lot (2024)

You know, this is one of those damn movies I never thought would see the light of day (hehe lame vampire pun). It was announced, delayed, then disappeared for a few years before getting dumped on HBO Max like a dead carcass at the slaughterhouse. Years ago I reviewed the novel for Salem’s Lot and since then I’ve read it at least twice and I can say it is a damn good book and a pretty solid vampire tale. While I never saw either mini-series, the trailer for 2024 was enough to make Savior and I at least excited for a flaming dumpster fire. Did we get it?

Sadly no. Salem’s Lot 2024 is not a garbage fire. That’s not to say it’s particularly great or even good. The cast gives decent performances given a pretty crammed script. Much of the soul, the suspense, and characters of the book are crushed, compacted, and repackaged into a forgettable vampire romp. It’s the kind you can forget the same day you watch it which honestly is a shame given how good the book was. The vampires are more like zombies. Barlow isn’t a nightmarish ghoul like in the 79 mini-series but a parody of that memorable design. There’s not even as much gore or hilarious jumpscares as I thought there’d be in the trailer. In the end, read the book or seek out another vamp movie because good or bad, you’ll remember it more than this thing that should’ve stayed in the development grave. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Monster Friday -Kappa (Japanese Yokai)

Welcome back to Monster Friday, today we will be discussing a popular monster from Japan the Kappa. This water spirit, or Yokai, is a creature of mischief. The Kappa have various legends surrounding them, but they are more intelligent than most other creatures. Their legacy can be traced as far back as the Edo era (starting around 1603) and since then they have been blamed for everything from the disappearance of children to the murder of adults near water. It is thought that they would convince men to get in the water drag them under and eat them.

Their general look is similar to an ape except with fish scales and a turtle shell. While being the size of a 6-10 year old child. The indentation in their held holds water it is believed if it is ever spilled, they lose their magical abilities. Many think you can force them to grant you favors if you can make them spill this water. They also believe you can gain their favor by giving them cucumbers or tossing cucumbers into their water to make them happy. I am not sure why something that feeds on humans would love cucumbers so much but weirder things have happened.

Weirdly, I couldn’t find any sort of Kappa festival. Most of these popular creatures have some sort of formal festival or day attached to them in Japan, but the Kappa doesn’t seem to have any widespread formal holiday. Kappa Matsuri is a festival held in some parts of Tokyo, Ushiku, Komaki, and Misawa according to Wikipedia but it didn’t supply any real information so I don’t consider it very reliable. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Autopsy Simulator hits the slabs on April 3rd

 Team17 and developer Woodland Games are bringing Autopsy Simulator, a first-person medical-horror experience, to PS5 and Xbox on April 3rd! In Autopsy Simulator, players will take on the role of a practice pathologist and study realistic case files, created in collaboration with real-world forensic doctors, to help guide their examination and dissection of anatomically accurate bodies and determine each subject’s cause of death.

Alongside their powers of deduction, players will be able to use a variety of medically authentic tools and procedures, certified by a real-world pathologist, to learn more about each body as they peel back the layers of individual cases and unravel the mysteries surrounding each death.   

Autopsy Simulator also includes Autopsy Simulator: Dead Memories, a self-contained, narrative-driven psychological horror experience set in 1990s New Orleans that follows the story of Jack, a middle-aged pathologist whose life has taken a turn for the worse after a personal tragedy. Players will unravel a gripping mystery as Jack battles his inner demons while performing a range of medically accurate post-mortem procedures. 

  • Gruesome anatomical detail and medically certified autopsy procedures: Dissect anatomically accurate bodies using a range of autopsy procedures authentic to real-world practice pathology 
  • Realistic true crime scenarios: Study a range of case files designed by real-life pathomorphologists and forensic doctors and use what you learn to guide your approach to each autopsy 
  • Self-contained story mode with simulation gameplay: In Autopsy Simulator: Dead Memories, follow a gripping personal mystery while performing medically accurate autopsy procedures vetted by a certified pathologist 
  • Free play ‘Autopsy Only’ mode: Learn the ins and outs of practice pathology bycompleting unique autopsy scenarios and unravelling the mysteries of death 

Spilled! Steam Review

Spilled! over on Steam will be released on March 26th and was sent to me by its Developer and Publisher Lente who honestly I couldn’t really find their social media for. She is a single person who made the game over two years.

I took these off Steam, I swear I’m not stalking her or anything

The game is simple, in every way imaginable. You simply use the arrow keys to drive your boat around and clean up oil and in the process save some cute animals.

As you clean up the oil being spilled by a huge oil tanker, you earn money. This money is then used to upgrade your tiny boat with a bigger oil catcher, a faster motor, or a tank to hold oil. This makes gathering oil quicker and easier. There is only one enemy to fight at the very end, and I use the term fight very vaguely as he can not kill you, you simply use your hose to sink him. This same hose can be used to put out fires or wash oil off the sides of mountains throughout the world.

The game is fun for a little bit before it gets repetitive, which is nice because the game is only about an hour long. This doesn’t mean you have to sit there for an hour straight and beat it. Play it for 10 minutes at a time if you want. It wasn’t a bad way to spend an hour.

Another cool thing is that 10 cents of every sale goes to whale and dolphin conservation, so really you get to play a fun game and help animals in need. So if playing an 8/10 game wasn’t enough to support an Indy game, this should really help push it over the edge. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Pokémon, Genshin Impact Talent Star in Werewolf-Smooching Dating Sim ‘Scholomatch’ Coming to PC in 2025

The Horizon Wizarding Academy is taking enrollments and you’re the newest student! Fall deep in love and deep into the spirit realms as you learn magic, mingle with other academics, and uncover the secrets that threaten the academy’s future.

Your fellow students include a magical menagerie of otherworldly beings, including werewolves, fairies, sirens, and more. Scholomatch’s 11 main, potentially romanceable, characters each feature their own art, story, gameplay mechanics, and voice acting.

The game’s voice cast stars Jesse Inocalla (Genshin Impact, New Tales from the Borderlands, Marvel Battleworld), Sally Beaumont (Warhammer 40K: Rogue Trader), Jingle Deleon (Pokémon Arceus’ Wish, Diablo IV), and a number of other brilliant vocal talents.

Dialogue decisions allow you to flirt, or get to know a character more, before you head to the match 3 board to clear gems and complete puzzles in order to score points. Clearing a round rewards you with XP which can in turn be used to unlock elemental improvements to score even more points. Plus, it impresses other students!

Though supernatural smooching is on the cards for those whose hearts desire, Scholomatch fully supports platonic connections, too. Character playthroughs can be completed in any combination of platonic and romantic, and there’s also the possibility of polyamory throughout its more than 15 hours of gameplay content.

Key Features of Scholomatch:

  • Deep Spirit Realms, Deeper Relationships: Form earnest relationships with a number of supernatural beings, who have their own likes, dislikes, and carefully crafted personalities. 
  • Wizards, Werewolves, and More: Live vicariously through the protagonist and engage in your wildest fantasies by dating wizards, fairies, sirens, werewolves, and vampires just to name a few! 
  • Designed for Inclusivity: Different types of relationships are represented in the game, including same-gender matches, as well as platonic, romantic, and polyamorous relationships.

Scholomatch will be released in 2025 on PC via Steam. A playable demo is now available via the Steam page.

Focus, Games Workshop & Saber Announce “Warhammer 40,000: Space Marine 3

While there isn’t much news, and by that I mean any news or even anything to show about it aside from a single still frame sent out really. It has been announced Space Marine 3 is in development. Focus has also made it known that Space Marine 2 will continue to receive updates. Here is a statement that was released. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

“We have been honored by the incredible response from fans following the launch of Warhammer 40,000: Space Marine 2. We will continue to support the game with exciting content and regular updates in the coming years. Today we are thrilled to announce that the adventure will continue with Space Marine 3. Players can look forward to an immersive campaign, a multiplayer mode, and innovations that will redefine the standards of third-person action games. Developed in close collaboration with Games Workshop, Warhammer 40,000: Space Marine 3 will take the genre to new heights by introducing large-scale battles that are even more spectacular,” said John Bert, Deputy CEO of Focus Entertainment Publishing, a subsidiary of the PULLUP Entertainment Group.

“Space Marine 2 has proven to be a transformative game for Saber. It is the culmination of everything we have learned about game development in our 25 years in the business. We are now starting to develop Space Marine 3, a game that carries with it tremendous expectations from our rapidly expanding fanbase. While we will continue to support and grow the Space Marine 2 universe over the coming years, we will take all our learnings and apply them to an even bigger and more spectacular game for the third installment. We view this as an opportunity to create a true love letter to the Warhammer 40.000 universe,” said Matthew Karch, CEO of Saber Interactive.

More information on Warhammer 40,000: Space Marine 3 will be revealed at a later date.

Suikoden 1 HD Remaster Review

  I have always loved the Suikoden games,so hearing about the remaster coming a few years ago I was obviously pretty excited. Reliving the story of a young man attempting to topple an empire after being saddled with a cursed rune (the Soul Eater) a story I have played probably a dozen times.

I did begin to worry, would it hold up? Could it even hold up to those memories? Happily the story is still amazing. The graphic updated also look great,mostly. The world map takes a bit of getting used to and they didn’t do anywhere near the work on the sprites of the characters as they did on the world itself. This isn’t a bad thing since the characters look good anyway,but it does create a weird disconnect that takes a bit to get used to.

There are some quality of life updates, for example anyone that has played the game will know who I am talking about. That piece of shit on the docks,will no longer block your path. If you know,you know. The ability to boost up the speed of battles is great when you just want to get through a dungeon, for example trying to get back through Necords castle for the second time.

All around, what I have always believed was the better of the first 2 games holds up. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Sugardew Island PS5 Review

Sugardew Island on PS5 is a nice treat sent my way by Rokaplay. All I really knew about it was it was a cozy farm shop game. The results were pleasantly nice.

You start the game as a female character (Sorry anti-woke brigade, this can’t be changed, go cry somewhere else, the rest of us don’t care) and you can give her a cute outfit. From here she will crash and end up on a not-so-deserted island surrounded by thorns. Your job is to use your farm and store to revitalize the island.

Unlike most games like this, you start off with a huge area you can farm, and you can buy animals right from the start. The limited stamina will hold you back though. This is increased simply by doing things. You improve the island by doing missions for the magical tree in the center of the island where Hare lives.

Hare doesn’t like humans, they screwed up the island in the first place with their greed. Hare does become more receptive to you as you accomplish missions and unlock more and more things such as different seeds, new tools, and bigger houses and shops for yourself. To achieve this you sell crops (well anything honestly, I sold extra wood once) at your store to the sprites that live on the island. This grants you harmony towards the missions.

Now I know many times I give my trophy hunter readers a heads up, and this game has some easy trophies. sell 250 of certain crops, or finish all the missions none of which are hard. The game does NOT contain a platinum trophy however.

So is this game worth your time? Truthfully for you more hardcore farming sim fans, no. A lot of the bells and whistles you have come to expect are missing. There is no fishing for example and while there are people to have a sort of romance with there are only 4 options. But if you are just looking for a casual farming sim to relax after a hard day of work, this game is great. I can’t wait to see what future updates might bring, it is a solid 8/10 game. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Oppenheimer

So I have to say I typically hate biopics. I’ve never been into biographies, and even less into autobiographical pieces. I went to see Oppenheimer in theaters at least expecting a good movie, considering the A-list cast and knowing it was directed by Christopher Nolan.

So the movie tells the story of acclaimed physicist and quantum theorist J. Robert Oppenheimer: the American Prometheus whose work and leadership at Los Alamos through WWII led to the first successful creation and test of the nuclear bomb, the end of WWII, and the arms race with the Soviet Union kicking off the Cold War. Throughout all of this, we get a very human look at a brilliant but very flawed man as well as the political crucifixion he endured in the midst of McCarthyism as well as the psychological fallout from what he unleashed on the world.

I’m not going to mince words, I loved Oppenheimer because I felt like it told such a truly human story. Cillian Murphy is spectacular and is surrounded by an outstanding supporting cast. Nolan brings his S game when it comes to establishing visuals that are both beautiful, awe-inspiring and damn terrifying. The music is beautiful. It is a 3+ hour movie that feels long but the pace runs smoothly. Whether the movie is historically accurate, I can’t really say. I do want to read the book much of the film was based on, which REALLY says something considering the opening statements of this review. What I admire maybe the most is the passion and love put into this movie, making it shine brighter and inspiring me quite a bit as a writer. In the end, I highly recommend it, especially in 4k our Blu-ray at the very least. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Doctor Strange: The Flight of Bones

Dr. Stephen Strange has overcome some tremendous feats not only as the Sorcerer Supreme, long-time hero, and renowned surgeon. Despite how much he’s overcome, his hands are failing him. While searching for help in man’s medicine, a new magical threat emerges when people begin spontaneously combusting and one of his dear friends becomes wrapped up in a deadly cult at the cause of the deadly pyres. Just another day for the good doctor, eh, true believers?

Ok, so first I gotta say two things about this book: the story itself is incredibly short and the art is the bizarre beauty I love about Strange’s stories. I was disappointed the Flight of Bones story itself is so short because I was getting pretty invested before it just…ends. There are quite a few other shorts in the book that are mostly good, all with different art styles that are wholly unique and eye-catching. When it comes to Marvel, Strange reliably has some of the coolest artwork and designs, and this book is no exception. Being under Marvel Knights, there is some adult imagery that might scare away the younger kids but many of the stories keep to a darker, bordering on horror edge that I love and I wish the MCU would embrace more with Strange. In the end, while not the best Strange story and not something that will make you fall in love with the Sorcerer Supreme ( I highly recommend Dr Strange & Dr Doom: Triumph and Torment ) it’s still worth checking out for some faster reads. May the gaming gods bring you glory.