The Amityville Horror (2005)

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Hey who wants to go back in time and watch Ryan Reynolds play a complete psycho and possibly murder his family? Did you say yes to that question? Than skip this review and just go watch the movie. Still on the fence? Keep reading.

There have been many iterations of the Amityville Horror with varying degrees of accuracy to the actual events. If you want to research the real story feel free, but its pretty boring and has very little in common with the movies. With that being said lets move on.

The special effects are pretty well done as is everything else you would want in a movie. By now we all know the story pretty well, family moves into house, shit starts getting weird, little girl gets an imaginary friend, things slowly get worse, wife realizes something lives in the house. Dad tries to murder everyone. However the real star of this movie and what truly makes this movie from typical demonic presence in a house movie into the realm of classic is Ryan Reynolds. From the onset he plays his usual self. a Fun loving guy that cracks jokes, and slowly descends into madness. And he does it amazingly well. Little things like simply being a bit snippy with the wife, and moves on towards insomnia. But at each stage he never truly lets go of the last, His performance was far beyond what I expected. As always, may the gaming gods bring you glory.

IT review,2nd opinion

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So me and Torsten went down to our local theater today, our first visit in fact. The Iron Warhorse Movie Bistro had a really old time feel with old photos of our home town in Scranton Pennsylvania. Great theatre with probably the most comfortable seats I have experienced in a theater. I snapped a couple photos for your enjoyment.

Their walls are lined with similar photos and I absolutely loved the person touch they had. The staff was friendly as well. If you are in the area check them out. Now on to the review.

First I have to admit, the first time I saw a picture of Pennywise and then the first trailer for the film, I was expecting a sub par movie. I was wrong. The acting was great, and if you are a fan of the Netflix show Stranger Things you will love how this movie feels. The acting is great and I can’t say there was a weak performance. The special effects looked great and the music score and sounds went very well with the movie itself.

The opening scene of course is Billy and George building the boat, and while George goes into the basement the suspense starts with a great scene and moves eventually into him chasing his boat down the street. As shown in the trailer he slams into a saw horse and his boat goes into the sewer. This is our first real taste of the new clown, and he is creepy as hell.

Throughout the movie many people let out small yelps or gasp as various scenes startled many. While some of the scares come from jump scares they are all pretty well placed and the movie did not rely on them to much. The movie does have a few comedic moments but they aren’t as plentiful as I had feared and they never took away from the sense of dread these kids had in the movie. I highly recommend seeing this in theaters if you can.

I shall now say something I NEVER thought I would say. This movie is superior to the original in ever single way. I loved the original and I loved Tim Curry. And if you are looking for a similar movie and performance you won’t get it. You should not compare one to the other as they take totally different ways of telling the same story, but this movie and Bill Skarsgard are am all around better horror movie. As always thanks for reading, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

It (2017)

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Today me and Savior had our first official outing as Saviorgaming, being able to head out to see a movie and say we were working- one of the coolest feelings ever. We saw It pretty much the most epic way possible at the new Iron Horse Movie Bistro in downtown Scranton, and we rode the bus back…getting dropped off at Jackson Street in the rain…next to sewer grate and we were legitimately  creeped out over the coincidence. I’m just gonna say this, I’m sorry I ever gave this movie shit. Upon the first release, I didn’t like Pennywise’s new design initially; I thought the first couple trailers were ok but nothing special. I was insanely wrong.

It is the story of Bill, Richie, Ben, Beverly, Eddie, Mike, and Stanley- young kids deemed preteen losers in Derry, Maine during the late 80’s who have to come together to stop Pennywise the shape-shifting demon clown that feeds on children and fear. One of Stephen King’s most famous and frightening horror stories, It was two part mini series in 1990 with Tim Curry playing Pennywise, becoming an iconic figure of 90’s horror. Problem was it was a series meant for basic cable so we got a accurate but watered down version of the tale, but 27 years later Pennywise returned as he does in the lore, new and brilliantly portrayed by Bill Skarrsgard. Whereas Curry had a more natural lightheartedness about him and his look was more of a normal clown, the modern look is more accurate to what I pictured when I started reading the book, no much a perfect imitation of a clown but something clearly trying to imitate but not fully succeeding. I like his aged, vintage appearence, a long open face with long pointed teeth reminiscent of classic Nosferatu, and a very off putting thing where his left eye keeps drifting. The effects on all of his forms are great and this movie does not pull back on the violence toward children which I respect; the opening scene with Georgie, it doesn’t cut away when Pennywise shows his true form and chomps Georgie’s arm clean off. I admit to jumping when this happened, knowing this sure as shit wasn’t edited for TV. On the opposite end of the spectrum, the movie’s lead children do an amazing job, showing a genuine chemistry I haven’t seen since Guardians of the Galaxy or the Power Rangers reboot. I believe them as relate able kids, not squeaky clean Hollywood kids- they swear, they freak out, and they deal with some really heavy shit in there lives. I really can’t find any serious flaws with the plot, except that Ben and Mike feel kinda pushed back to the side but not to the degree I’ve seen in other movies but overall I highly recommend It and unless I see something at least twice as good, I’m calling It my favorite horror movie of the year. May the gaming gods bring you glory…because everything floats.

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Sharknado review

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Ok lets be 100% honest. This isn’t exactly a good movie. Its campy as hell, the dialogue is down right painful at times and they don’t even attempt to take the CGI serious. And I loved this movie because of it. Sharknado wasn’t scary or well written, it was just fun.

This movie reminded me of an old 80’s B movie. Fake blood is used by the truck load when a shark being flung through the air rips off a guys arm. Old people panic when sharks are tossed into swimming pools seemingly at random by tornadoes.  A gas can and some matches tossed into the pool to deal with them somehow ignites the entire damn pool into a fire storm for no other reason than it will look cool. This is definitely a niche market that most people don’t care about but the Syfy channel has mastered, and the gaming gods thank them, and may they bring you glory.

Demon Gaze 2

 

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Demon Game is set to release this Fall for the PS4 and PS Vita. From the company that brought us the Disgaea this dungeon crawler.

The world is Asteria, and it is at the mercy of Magnastar and it is up to the Revolutionist Party to overthrow him. You play as the Demon Gazer and with the powers of demons you must lead the revolution to save the place.

The dungeons seem to be done in a grid based style with a first person turn based battle system. From the creators of Disgaea I am expecting a great story and some good laughs. Hopfully we find out this Fall, and while we wait may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Dead Island PS4

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There is one thing I have to get out of the way here before we move on to the actual review.

Seriously tell me this is not one of the best songs in a video game possibly ever? I don’t even like this kind of music but here we are.

Anyway back to why you are here. This game looks pretty good for an updated PS3 game and we all know how I feel about the sounds. The game takes place on the island of Banoi, a beautiful lush tropical island.

This game was pretty divisive for 1 reason and 2 reason only. Many people believed the game had no story really which was weirdly hidden. Not that it was hidden well, you will find most of it with just randomly exploring and doing side missions. The problem came from the fact that many of the side missions are easy to miss. It is also very easy to simply run around killing shit and never even noticed the other stuff. The story itself  is fun and engaging and I highly recommend checking it out, if only for the sure fun of smashing zombies with tons of melee weapons. And while you are at it, may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Final Fantasy 10: first impressions

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So first I gotta say I’m not finished with the game yet, actually Savior told me i’m not even half way done yet but I wanted to talk about my experience  so far. Many, many- ok so pretty much all of my friends that game are huge Final Fantasy fans. I’ve never played one before so I wanted to see what all the hype was about. I got to say I love this game. In a nutshell…so far…Final Fantasy 10 is the story of a famous blitz-ball player named Tidus from the metropolis of Zanarkand. During a huge game, a massive beast called Sin attacks Zanarkand and Tidus gets thrown into another time and a journey to aid young beautiful summoner Yuna and her guardians Wakka, Lulu, Kimarhi, Rikku, and Auron to vanquish Sin and the summoner gone rogue Seymour. Where I left of was the first boss battle against Seymour. Remastered on PlayStation 4, this game is literally breathtaking. I seriously was blown away by the beauty of the game. I haven’t really played many turn based RPGs but this is a fun and simple way to start. It’s a welcome change from FPS. Besides the graphics, the characters drive me deeper into this odyssey. The best compliment I can give this game is I haven’t been so invested in the welfare of game characters since the Mass Effect trilogy. Final Fantasy 10 is a awesome game so far and I can’t wait to see all that comes next.

No Man’s Sky, The journey continues

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The story of No Man’s Sky is a very storied one. From big dreams and great hype to broken promises and more. By now we are all familiar with all that stuff tho by now. So I am going to give you a brief breakdown on my original thoughts on the game, then add my take on the new stuff added.

First my seemingly unpopular opinion. I was unaware of most of the hype and promise surrounding the game. The graphics while not great were pretty fun I thought and the joy of discovering new creatures was great. There were plenty of bad things, but I will save that for the next section.

The updates over the last year have been great, most notably for me was the base building is easy and fun to use and the more frequent space battles are pretty cool. That being said some of the main flaws are still there. For example you will still be spending 90% of your time simply shooting stuff to collect resources and the story while expanded is still pretty meh over all.

Honestly if you have never played the game before now is a great time to give it  shot, but if like me you logged a ton of hours at release ( I was up over 60 easily) there isn’t much reason to come back unless you love base building. There are better games out there like Elite Dangerous if you simply have an itch to go exploring the galaxy. Fly safe and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Aliens- the evolution and variances of Xenomorphs

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There’s a common misconception amongst people, many think an alien is just an alien but the deadly beauty of the Xenomorph is the creatures ability to adapt and reconfigure itself depending on it’s host. The prequels added fuel when names like Deacon, Trilobite, and Neomorph began getting thrown about; don’t get me started on how much of a bitch it was trying to explain the difference between the classic creature and Covenant’s Protomorph. But have no fear, Torsten V to the rescue to explain Xeno anatomy throughout the films.

0.The Pathogen/ black ooze- In Prometheus we are introduced to the vase like canisters containing the evolutionary substance. It radically causes mutation in all biological lifeforms and death when heavily exposed. One drop was all it took to set the events of the later half of Prometheus in motion. In Covenant we see how experiments with the Pathogen and wildlife have foarmed tiny pods in the grass that release a spore form of the ooze that can seek nearby life, causing Neomorph impregnation. We know the Engineers created this as a weapon and they planned to use it on us at a point and I theorize some of the ancient Xenomorph DNA resides in it but we don’t know. Either way, shit is mean.

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  1. Hammerpede- we see it crawl straight out of a puddle of the pathogen. Don’t ever take it’s appearance as harmless or “kinda cute”. After assuming a stance like a cobra as shown above, it lashes out, acting primarily like another snake, constricting around its victim with deadly strength. We see it crush a man’s arm, fracturing it to where the bones are outright exposed in  minute. Also it has acid for blood. It’s complete pattern isn’t revealed but it’s a dangerous little bastard.

trilobite

2. Trilobite- the ultimate evil of drunken sex incarnate. Elizabeth Shaw, our barren heroine in Prometheus discovers she is miraculously 4-5 months pregnant with this cutie. It’s origin? 1 drop of pathogen in a infected host and sex. After a harrowing ang gruesome scene, Shaw gets it out. At the end of the film it grows to the size of a small car, the tentacles massive and muscular, the inside of it revealed to be a long penis and six toothed vaginas…it’s pretty nightmarish. After violating an engineer, the finale of the film is it’s offspring.

deacon

3. The deacon- my twitch name is deacon2012, here’s why. The last minutes of Prometheus we witness this creature break out of the engineer’s stomach. We don’t know much about except for it’s close relation to the alien. But a beautiful specimen all the same.

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4. The Neomorph- the saving grace in my opinion of Alien: Covenant. Created by exposure to pathogen spores, depending where the spores make contact depends where the creatures will breech from. We see one breech from someone’s back and another man has one rip out of his throat in a gory display. From the get go they are clawed and very hostile.  Starting from roughly the size of a puppy they can grow to roughly 7 feet tall in a very fast time (tune in for my Covenant to hear about this). Unlike the alien and deacon, the neomorph has no extendable jaw, instead having a impressively large mouth of razor sharp teeth. It’s able to decapitate someone with ease. Ghostly white in color, it’s face puckered into a little pink kiss, and long bony spikes protruding from it’s back are clear indicators. I highly recommend checking out the concept art for it because they are freaky as hell.

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5. Protomorph- so we get David’s perfect creature at last, just not as evolved yet. Whereas the perfected Xenomorph begins life as a worm like creature, this prototype begins life as a baby with tiny features (it’s hard not to look at baby and think “I am Groot!”) and grows ludicrously fast. This alien looks similar to the classic but there are notable differences: the head is slimmer and longer, the front teeth have more of a human structure, the limbs are longer and the body is leaner and more muscular without the bulk of a developed exoskeleton of the Warrior type or even the “Big Chap”. It shares the neomorph’s unbridled aggression which is part of why it’s flawed.

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6. Ovamorph/ Egg and facehugger- Where it all began. One egg, one person, and one horror. The Egg stands roughly 3-4 feet tall and has leathery texture. Inside is the facehugger that carries the alien’s seed to impregnate the host. They’re quick and agile moving like a spider. They have a perfect system once the host is captured. Host becomes locked in a controlled coma; the creature provides oxygen but will tighten the tail around the victim’s throat if an attempt to pry it off is made. It’s skin has a silicon base and it’s blood is acid based. The perfected alien usually takes a day to lay the embryo while David’s proto-eggs laid there’s much quicker and more potently. Either way, this form of the creature falls off and dies after the embryo is laid. I wonder what happens next?

baby alien

6. Chestburster- ahh. How ever you look at it, this little tike is going to break out of your chest and you will die. Depending on the host, the fetus will appear differently. For example: in Alien 3 the host is not human instead of what we see above, we get something like a pup- a miniature version of the adult. Within a day they mature into the adults, the badasses, the oh no…

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7. Alien/ Xenomorph/ “The Serpent”/ ” The Dragon”/ “The Big Chap” – So these are bad. Almost perfect biological killing machines, sharp teeth, claws, tongue that can blast through bone and light metal like a piston, bladed tail lined with sharp edges. They are intelligent, can withstand extreme temperatures and pressures, and do not require oxygen; they are incredibly strong, fast, resilient, and have keen senses . They’re bodies adapt, getting new traits from there hosts. In Alien, during a controversial deleted scene we learn a alien can potentially convert bio matter into eggs; in Aliens the warriors are more ridged, heavy, and hardened for combat; in Alien 3 the creature moves on four legs, is slightly smaller and leaner, but acts much like an attack dog. In comics and other media we’ve seen other breeds such as the Gorilla Alien, The Mantis Alien, and in Mortal Kombat X even the Baraka Alien which…pimpin yahl as well as other. In my Alien Resurrection review I covered Ripley and the Queens mutant freak baby, so I won’t talk much on that, leaving just her highness…

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8. Queen Alien- save the best for last. These hotties are twice the size of your standard alien, four armed, and epic as hell is the mother of the hive. She creates a large sac to lay eggs, rendering her stationary though not defenseless. It’s a common theory she a telepathic connection to her warriors, she is in fact more intelligent than the rest. If you you find yourself in battle with her…sorry dude.

That brings us to a close; I hope I cleared up any questions or misconceptions about the Xenomorphs. May the gaming gods bring you glory because in space no one will hear you scream.

wetdream

Rock Of Ages 2 PS4

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This game was very weird. The tutorial isn’t very informative so I wasn’t exactly clear on what I was supposed to do at first. That being said the story is presented in a very Monty Python style cartoon which I greatly enjoyed. The graphics for the actual game play tho is a little on the dull side but they are acceptable.

The main game play is essentially a tower defense game, you build stuff to stop your opponent from rolling a ball down a hill to bust open some castle doors while they do the same to you During my time with the demo tho you basically  can ignore the rest and just smash the castle open. I do feel like in the actual game on the higher levels that will into play far more. The real fun here is the couch Co-op portion. I played with my daughter and we had a blast, tho i may have to ground her for a month if she doesn’t stop putting the sticky cows everywhere to slow my ball down. And yes we were on the same team, damn team killing kid. Anyway go give it a shot, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.