Harry Potter And The Sorcerers Stone Explained badly

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The first Harry Potter movie. This one takes me back, had an ex that used to babysit and the kid loved this movie and would watch this and Spider-Man on repeat. Having never read the books at that point (feel free to insult me in the comments for that blasphemy) I didn’t really know what to expect. And yes you are going to get reviews on all the movies before to long.

Lets be honest, the movie is an instant classic. Years from now when we are dead our grand kids will be watching the 22K remaster of it in their holo decks like in Star Trek. I’m not going to give you a standard review here because that has been done to death, instead i’m going to explain the movie as badly as I can.

This is the story of an abused orphan from under the stairs that finds out his parents were killed by wizard terrorist. After being recruited to a special school for the gifted Harry is dragged into a conspiracy to steal a magical stone of unknown powers and must outsmart every adult in Hogwarts to stop a turban wearing teacher from reanimating the dead.

Ok that was probably bad, feel free to add your own spin on this one, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Alien and Predator: Fire and Stone

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Fire and Stone is a four book Prometheus, Aliens, and Predator crossover from Dark Horse comics that spans multiple stories of multiple characters. It begins immediately after Prometheus with a crew going to find what happened to the doomed ship on planet LV-223. They begin to find the strange creatures on a planet they thought barren- the products of the Engineer’s black pathogen. As they go deeper and an experiment with the pathogen is conducted on a synthetic named Alden, they come across the horrors of the Xenomorph. After a massacre by the aliens, comes a threat by a mutated Alden and the Predator lurking in the background, seeking vengeance on the Engineer that wounded him.

So this is kinda a weird story to cover because there’s so much going on and each story is remarkably different. The Prometheus book and Predator book, were tied for my favorites. The Prometheus book is straight up mayhem and wickedly bad ass monsters

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The Predator book is a cool revenge of the strange alliance between a Predator and a human, ending in a sweet fight between Predator and Engineer. If I had to pick a weak link it was the Aliens book, which really didn’t have many aliens in it, but the story was just kind of meh. The art is the best thing about the series, every book has it’s own unique art style and are gorgeous to behold. Overall Fire and Stone is a cool crossover with great artwork but it’s not my favorite Alien piece and doesn’t answer much of the questions Prometheus asked. The series goes: Prometheus-Aliens-Aliens vs. Predator- Predator.

 

 

Animal Crossing 3ds

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Oh animal crossing. A game where you may or may not be enslaved by some weird animal cult.  That aside the game is a lot of fun. From collecting all the fish and insects in the game to digging up fossils and meeting the neighbors there are plenty of things to do. For the more decorated minded as you take out bigger and bigger loans to make your house bigger there is an astronomical number of different furniture to collect. The game moves in legitimate real time, holidays fall on real life holidays for example and the town reacts accordingly.

For those that aren’t a fan of collecting things honestly you will probably have a bad time here. Outside of collecting and decorating your house these games offer very little, tho I hate that stuff and have had a great time with the game. As always thanks for your time and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Nailbiter: vol 1 there will be blood

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This year I’ve really gotten worn out on the standard superhero comics and I wanted to branch out and see what else there was out there. Nailbiter from Image comics quickly became one of my favorites. Nailbiter is the story of Buckaroo, Oregon, a town responsible for breeding 16 serial killers- the most famous being Edward Charles Warren, the Nailbiter they called him because of how he would chew his victim’s finger’s to the bone before killing them. In a very publicized case, Warren was found not guilty and the legend of the Buckaroo Butchers bloomed. Nicholas Finch, a army interrogator, goes to Buckaroo looking for his missing friend, Eliot Carrol, a investigator trying to connect the mystery of the Butchers together. Finch quickly meets the town’s sheriff, Shannon Crane, once Warren’s childhood girlfriend. In fact, Finch begins to discover many of the towns residents are either descendants of the Butchers or somehow connected to them- it’s a small town they say. Finch and Crane are lead to Warren, living a regular quiet life despite his epic pariah status. When questions start being asked, a new killer arises and it’s not Nailbiter…

Nailbiter is a cool story with some pretty creepy imagery. The lore of the Butchers alone got me hooked. I really couldn’t put it down. The tone feels very reminiscent of a blue collar Silence of the Lambs or Seven if James Gunn directed it in his Slither days. I really can’t wait to see what happens next. If you want to get into comics but superheroes aren’t your thing, give Nailbiter a try; I found the first few volumes super cheap on amazon super cheap. You guys are awesome, and may the gaming gods bring you glory because…

nailbiter “there’s enough to go around.”

Fantastic Beast And Where To Find Them

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The prequel set in the Harry Potter World, and it had some big shoes to fill. But did it succeed? Well with over 800 million world wide it would be hard for me to say no, and it would be even harder for you guys to take me seriously if I said it didn’t. That being said there are many places this movie succeeds and a couple where I think it could be better. The world is for lack of a better word fantastic, the magical creatures are great in both looks and diversity and all seem to have their own personalities.

Now for where it can improve, I really don’t like Newt, the main character in any capacity. I’m not sure if its the actor coming across or odd or how he is written but just something about him i don’t like. The story itself while amazing to see what the wizard world is like in early 1900’s America is rather boring i thought and not only because it is slow to build. The title Fantastic Beast is a bit misleading as the hunt for the beast seems to take back seat to all political stuff which is kind of half assed because its trying not to over shadow the beast and in the end both don’t do as well as they should have.

The movie is fun and while I think its the worst in the Potter universe its still a great movie. So give it a shot, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Alien: Isolation

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After the heartbreak of a game I will not mention because I spent yesterday shitting all over it- ok dude it was Colonial Marines, and it really really shitty- I was really really skeptical when it was announced we were getting another alien game a tad bit over a year later. But I can tell you from the opening trailer I was hooked. Alien: Isolation takes place between the first and second movie, following Ellen Ripley’s daughter Amanda who has grown up not knowing what happened to her mother. An engineer, she learns from a Company synthetic Samuels, that a ship docked at Sevastopol Station carrying the Nostromo’s flight recorder. She boards the Torrens on a journey to retrieve it. After disastrous events trying to cross into Sevastopol via space-walk, Amanda finds herself alone on a station that has seriously seen better days. Ravaged inside, graffiti plastered all over the walls, bodies in the halls, Ripley is immediately afraid. She has a brief encounter with a guy named Axel who explains to her that bad things that gone on, riots, looting, the Joes, and something else…Ripley soon discovers what it is. A creature of unknown origin that is damn is faster than any human, cunning and extremely hostile. Beside the alien hunting Ripley and the scared shitless looters, the station’s synthetics the Working Joes have gone mad and begun not only murdering the survivors but actually protecting the creature. Every turn Ripley discovers there is nothing she can but try to outsmart the treachery and discover her mother’s fate, discovering her mom’s similar experience.

I’m not a fan of stealth games really but I have to say this is the closest we’ve ever had to experiencing the original film. The atmosphere, music, and details are miraculously recreated for the game, even the alien’s design is beautifully rendered from Giger’s original work. The story is drawn out a bit too long in places but the plot is well told, and Amanda Ripley is a good, vulnerable heroine that we feel push herself to overcome the insane odds against her. Rather than shooting your problems away, you have to craft items to outsmart the dangers of Sevastopol. The AI for this game is top notch; when the alien is hunting your ass down it feels like a real animal is chasing  you. My only real complaint is that the controls are a little clunky and at time the rare save points can be a major pain in the ass. Also, as Savior pointed out in his list of Disappointing games, if you aren’t a major fan of the franchise, you may find much harder to get in to. There is a lot of walking around and many of your objectives get tedious after a while but I found the game intriguing and suspenseful. If you guys played it, what did you think- comment down below. If you love Alien, I seriously recommend it or if you like good stealth horror games, pick it up. As always, may the gaming gods be with you and…

isolation2  don’t run…or shoot…or screw up or yanno…kisses!

 

The Girl In The Photographs

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Ok this movie is pretty damn weird. It starts out with two women leaving the movies and going their separate ways. After arriving home a girl is kidnapped tortured and has photos taken which are then posted places for others to see. With no bodies or reports of missing people the police are forced to chalk it up to pranks or street artist or some other random non criminal douchbaggery.  There is also a photographer that returns to his home town to take pictures. I have to admit i really don’t understand the movie. There is a lot of stuff that simply seemingly has nothing to do with anything else. Obviously later on it all starts coming together and things pick up a bit but first you will spend a decent amount of time wondering what the hell is going on. By all means give it a watch, its not a bad movie. The acting and visuals are pretty good. Thanks for coming and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Evil Within

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Released a week after Alien: Isolation, I was n horror geek nirvana when this casserole of madness and blood hit the scene. Created by the man responsible for the original Resident Evil, we’re thrown back to the origins of survival horror gaming- disturbing monsters, lack of ammo, frightening atmosphere, and a lurking sense of dread behind every twist and turn this and Isolation capture beautifully. We get omages to classic Resident Evil with a play style reminiscent of 4, nods to Silent Hill, Saw, F.E.A.R, all thrown into a blender with a book of acid and it’s awesome. We follow Sebastian  Castellanos, Krimson City Detective with a haunted past, his partners Joey  Oda and Juli Kidman as they investigate a massacre at a mental hospital. In the camera footage Sebastian sees a scarred man in a white hoodie is the perpetrator-than the headache and the light. Suddenly he’s hanging upside down by his ankle amongst other bodies by a grisly sadist. He chases us through his complex liar with a chainsaw, until, wounded we break free only to be greeted by a massive earthquake that devastates the city. Suddenly Sebastian is thrown into utter madness by Ruvik (voiced brilliantly by Jackie Earle Haley I might add) whose out to rewrite reality in his twisted image via STEM device, making us ask at the end, what really is real?

I’m a huge fan of this game, but I’m not not blind to it’s flaws. Grapically it’s gorgeous, the loading screens are eerie as hell; the game play is difficult but fun. Besides enemies, there are booby-traps littered throughout and much like Dishonored we can play the game a variety of ways which was really cool. The score is creepy and I love the opening theme song. What I found found really original is having to cross a whole other dimension to save and upgrade yourself and gear, Claire de Lune will never be the same for me because of this damn game. Now, the negatives. With the exception of Haley as Ruvik, the voice acting is stiff and even bland. Sebastian may as well be ordering his morning coffee while being chased by the demonic memory of Laura, Ruvik’s sister. At a point the game starts to drag around chapter 13 or so and there are bullshit deaths around the game. In the end it doesn’t have much of a replay value in my opinion, after beating it on PS3 and unlocking new game +, I put the game down and haven’t played it through since early 2015. Overall, it’s a flawed masterpiece but definitely worth a go. If you’re a horror fan and like Resident Evil, you’ll enjoy it…caution, this game is freaky.

Disgaea 5 PS4

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Disgaea 5 is a turn based tactical RPG. As traditionally with this series you play a demon in hell on a quest for revenge that also happens to coincide with stopping saving the demon world from destruction. The game has some rather weird characters that are easy to enjoy, tho the series obsession with sardines is still a little weird to me. One character even steals a quote from the rock (the wrestler) and of course he is completely jacked.

There are also in game options that let you increase or decrease the level of opponents to insane levels, go on side quest inside of items to make them stronger and even bribe people in the senate to pass laws and stuff that let you recruit new and stronger characters. It is a very different and interesting sort of game that any RPG fan would do well to check out. As always thanks for your time and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Mars Attacks!

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I’ve been a Tim Burton fan for many years and I’m hoping Beetlejuice 2 kicks ass, so last night I found Mars Attacks on Hulu and said why not because I never got to watch the whole thing before. I had fun with it this this goofy 50’s science fiction comedy. Pretty much the plot is in the title- Martians come to earth and well, attack. I have to say I love Jack Nicholson as the President- Jack’s always a welcome addition to any movie in my opinion. Also it was really cool to have such a wide range of actors like a young Natalie Portman, Jack Black, and Sarah Jessica Parker to more veteran actors like Nicholson, Glenn Close, Pierce Brosnan, and Michael J. Fox. The movie’s effects surprisingly hold up twenty one years later, achieving the retro 50’s alien vibe I really dig. The action scenes are cool and there’s some fun dark comedy spread throughout. While not personally my favorite Burton film, it still reminds me of better days and it’s a good time for Burton fans and retro sci-fi nerds. As always, thanks for checking us out and may the gaming gods bring you glory.