Savior Gaming

Buck Hunter Arcade PS4

I have no idea why I am reviewing this game. Seriously I think its just a throw back to the old days of playing in arcades and games like this being the only ones that i didn’t suck at.

So you basically have 2 options, hunt deer or hunt elk. The shooting works nicely and the game is very entertaining with friends even tho they steal your kills, looking at you Torsten. The wooded scenes look different enough to stay interesting but not so different to feel like a different game.

There however is not much to the game. Shoot some deer or elk and occasionally some small game or mountain lion, try to get a high score and repeat. It is a home arcade game in just about every way, and I oddly enjoy it. As always thanks for your time and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Aliens: Colonial Marines

alienscm Well thank you Gearbox for that long five years waiting for this steaming clump of horseshit that’s been marinated in balsamic vinaigrette and Capuchin monkey piss for a year in a hot parking lot…this game thoroughly displeased me if it ain’t apparent. I read the first reveals of it in a Game Informer from 2008 or 9 and thought “holy shit, this could be my dream/ nightmares come true, the real deal Aliens experience.” Sorry young Torsten, sorry lil buddy, because five years later you’ll get a double dump for a 22nd birthday present- Dead Space 3 and this steamer…I think I almost started crying just thinking about that level of disappointment.

So the story takes place between 3 and Resurrection and brings us back to Hadley’s Hope, though I don’t know how that’s possible after the giant nuclear explosion at the end of Aliens but ok, YTF not. We play as a soldier with no personality so I can’t remember his name, or his equally lifeless squad with there dipshit AI… ok seriously, Alien fan or not, if you just want a game to play there’s millions of others to play or you could read a book or learn interpretive dance. The AI for both your partners and enemies are astoundingly stupid, the aliens disappear for a while and for a period the game becomes a lousy Battlefield knockoff which you can tell it wasn’t designed for, nor a stealth game at one point which the special aliens you deal with there are more laughable than scary- oh how Savior and I jovially laughed. You will die a lot, but I guarantee 90% of your deaths will be complete bullshit cheap shot deaths. And I have to bring up the last straw that made me fly into a blood boiling Atrocitus level hell rage worthy of a red lantern- the damn inventory setup. So like most modern shooters like Battlefield, you can carry 2 or 3 guns and maybe some additional things like a health pack or grenades, that’s totally fine. Most you can drop and swap weapons, again totally fine. I keep running low on ammo, being told I was maxed out on other ammo for guns I didn’t think I could possibly possess. I pressed every button, went into the damn strategy guide and nothing, and finally my two friends I shared this whole experience with recommended trying to hold in buttons and lo and behold holding the switch button unfolds a huge menu of fucking weapons, grenades, and other shit that would have been helpful. I was quite displeased. But Torsten, you may be asking, what of the multiplayer? I love couch co-op; this couch- co-op sucks ass. I was hoping like Borderlands, the couch co-op would have the Gearbox touch of enemies at least getting more strenuous and more abundant- nope. A good friend and I actually began arguing over who got to kill the damn things. And the final boss is pretty much over in 5 min so there isn’t even that to look forward to. Aliens: Colonial Marines is a ass Popsicle wrapped in pubes and old moldy bacon; Aliens: Colonial Marines is what what happens when you do believe it’s not butter, it’s starring into an eclipse for 5 minutes after spraying dish soap and lemon juice into your eyes, it’s just crap to the fiftieth power. Overall, friends don’t friends play Aliens: Colonial Marines.

7 Days To Die

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7 days to die is essentially a zombie survival simulator. You build tools chop down trees build weapons and cloths even a vehicle while scavenging for food,water and of course any other useful item you can find. The concept is one millions of people dream about and discuss at great lengths. There are only 2 types of people in this world, those with a zombie plan and dinner.

With all that out of the way, I have to say at least on PS4 this is not a well made game. Its rare but I have on occasion when unable to open doors or go into menus but after restarting the game work just fine. The graphics while not horrible have a tendency to tear and at larger distances its not uncommon for objects to appear and disappear. Zombies don’t have the best look and only come in a few different varieties. The shooting mechanics are stiff but work well enough and driving is a bit rough as well.

With all that being said there are no issues with the game that are a deal breaker or make the game unplayable. It also gets regular updates and has a very strong community attached to it. If you are a horror fan or simply love the zombie genre there is no reason you shouldn’t own this game. Stay safe out there and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Elite Dangerous Bounty Hunting

For those that even semi regularly follow the blog you know I recently returned from a trip to Sagittarius A, the center of the galaxy. When I got back I decided to buy a combat ship and take part in the current community goal in Kaal by turning in bounties. So i picked up a Vulture and outfitted it which cost way more than expected. What I got tho was a small ship with way more fire power than I expected for only having 2 hard points even tho both are large. I quickly racked up a few kills and made a few hundred thousand credits and moved up to the top 75% of participants which if I can stay there will give me around 4 million more credits. Ok so I will admit that is not even close to what my vulture cost me, but long term it should pay for itself .

With all that being said I highly suggest every commander get themselves a combat ship and try it out. Its a nice break from trading and exploring and there is some nice money to be made. As always thanks for your time and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Pokemon Y

Pokemon X and Y as many of you know was the first in the 3D pokemon games. When I first saw this I was a bit nervous and it did take a bit if getting used to after over a decade of the old style. Within the first couple hours I realised I very much missed the top down look Pokemon works very well in the new style.

Aside from the new visuals the formula of catching little monsters for what is basically animated cock fighting still works. Any fan of the series knows it doesn’t take long for the obsession to collect as many as you can and find the right balance between new mons and old favorites to kick in. And as always the corny story running along side the quest to become league champ is interesting enough to follow but not so in-depth to distract from the main attraction of collecting and battling. The new EV training system was to me the best new addition and it saddens me to see it disappear in Sun and Moon and I hope to see it again. As always thanks for your time and may the gaming gods bring you glory

Alien Resurrection: the game

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I used to be a major chickenshit as a kid; I wasn’t able to look at the covers for this and Alien trilogy without almost crapping my pants in utter terror. God, how much I’ve grown. So Alien Resurrection, a movie most people hated, got a video game in a time when if you had a movie you had to have a game. Whereas Trilogy was kind of a Doom clone, Resurrection actually broke some new ground at the time. In the Alien Resurrection game we see a lot modern FPS mechanics come into play; we were able to easily aim and shoot as opposed to many other shooters that were still getting it down. For the time the graphics were fine but now they turned to dogshit by today’s standards

alienr game2 Do you see what I mean? Playing this in early 2001 to 2003, this game was scary as hell. Also there is a really sweet idea in the game I’m pissed hasn’t been used in a alien game since; if you get hit by a face-hugger you don’t die automatically but your time is short and the alien will kill you from the inside if you don’t remove it from a hidden surgical station somewhere in the stage. The game is difficult and a little clunky but there’s one bastard of problem that makes it irritating as shit. Save points are ridiculously few and far between and in Souls fashion, you die- see you at the beginning of the stage mofo and if you don’t have a memory card, well, sucks to be you dude. Seriously, you start as Ripley 8 with no gun. You don’t casually find one on a dead body or given it in a helpful cut scene, nope, you gotta search for that damn thing because there comes a point guards starting shooting at you and you can’t punch. Overall it ain’t a bad game, it has a creepy atmosphere and the fact you are so fragile and there’s few saves adds a lot to the tension. Its on PS1 and PC and worth a try. May the gaming gods bring you glory and a memory card.

Americas Army: Proving Ground

I was torn when I downloaded this for free on PS4. Part of me doesn’t expect much from free games. However having been in the army I wanted good things. That being said, having served I knew this would be functional but flawed. And that’s really the best way to describe this first person shooter. Functional, but flawed. The controls are pretty standard and while graphically the game is sub par its not bad. The issue becomes where the many glitches come in. Numerous times while attempting to use an elevator it would take 3 and 4 attempts to have it actually work and more then a few times dead bodies would be simply floating in mid air. While floating dead people is easy to ignore the occasional random person floating was not. This normally happens when getting off an elevator,regardless it was still annoying as hell.

Aside from the numerous glitches I came across there really isn’t much to say about the game. It is pretty much average and standard in every possible way. As always thanks for your time, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Alien Resurrection

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And here comes the hate mail- I thought Alien Resurrection was good. Is it batshit? Hell yeah it’s a terrific WTF movie full of random moments, kills you can’t tell are funny or just epic, and a couple genuinely sad moments in a story that doesn’t need to be there at all but raises some interesting questions nevertheless. What killed this puppy from the get go was the conflict of ideology behind the set between Screenwriter Joss Whedon- yes Avengers, Buffy, Firefly, that Joss Whedon and french director Jean-Pierre Juenet. In a nut shell, Joss wrote R-rated Firefly and J.P wanted a serious, artistic film. Here’s the clusterf#$k that ensues…

200 years after Ripley’s death in Alien 3, she’s cloned by the military on the U.S.S Auriga outside regulated space for the alien in her belly. It’s extracted successfully, leaving them with the Ripley clone. They keep her alive, curious how she fares. Immediately they notice Ripley 8 is stronger and is learning at a fast speed. She has genetic qualities of the alien like strength, fast reflexes, and her red blood is highly acidic. Illegally the military hired a band of space pirates, bringing cargo of live people to be impregnated by the Queen Alien. The aliens she breeds are smarter than before, breaking out quite easily. The ship is pretty easily over run and Ripley has to band together with a closet android Call, the pirates, and a asshole scientist we know will screw them first chance he gets and escape. Simple really until the end. Ripley 8 gets snatched and taken to the queen who has stopped laying eggs the traditional way and has switched to a human birthing cycle, producing Ripley’s ultimate WTF hybrid baby.

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So it kills the queen, gets emotionally attached to Ripley; who kills it because it’s violent freak baby…wow this movie is batshit to the 9th degree but I love it.

Is Alien Resurrection scary like the first, action packed like the second, or dark and gory like the third? Hell no. Is it a good movie in the conventional sense? Eh, not really. The acting is either oddly bland or over the top; the art style is very brown and very strange, just watch the opening credits. The score is good and the aliens look nice but we see them too damn much. Seriously you see the alien in all its drippy ass glory more in this than you do in the trilogy and probably Covenant combined. The best part is easily the scene where Ripley finds the hideously deformed clones of herself that came before her- that’s nightmare fuel. Other than that there is so much funny, crazy, epic, random shit. Pervis killing that asshole scientist by beating the piss out of him and having the chestburster break through him and out the dude’s head- I cheered. Having a dude roll a grenade like he was bouncing a pebble into a escape pod that has a alien in it like he was playing skeeball- somehow kinda cool. Same dude saluting his fallen comrades only to have his brain tongued out by an alien, staring at the clump of his own brain matter with a wide eyed look of constipated disillusionment- hysterical. Underwater scene- epic. Having Winona Ryder page aliens over the ships PA system to kill the asshole scientist- funny as hell. Simply, Alien Resurrection is a “bro flick”, something me and Savior would probably watch with soda and cheap pizza to laugh at and cheer kills over. Taken seriously, you’ll hate it. Take it for what it is, you can have fun with it.

Star Trek Beyond

Here we are at long last, the final Star Trek movie. This trek has a different more somber feel to it. Kirk making some noise about leaving the fleet, Prime Spock dead new Spock talking about leaving to help New Vulcan. Seriously this shits a huge downer. Then the Enterprise goes boom nameless crew dieing everywhere. Its like they set out to make us all sad. All that being said it doesn’t stay that way and there are plenty of jokes to go around.

The crew sets off on a rescue mission that turns out to be a trap where the Enterprise was quickly out matched with them narrowly escaping and being stranded on the planet. With new alien races to meet and kill the crew regroups on an old lost federation ship. I’m not sure there will be a fourth movie tho I hope there is, but if not Star Trek Beyond is a worthy send off for this generations crew. At the beginning I wasn’t happy with them rebooting the series, but now I have to admit this was one hell of a job that I am happy we got to experience. Until next time, may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Alien 3

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So this is where the ass kissing on the Alien franchise grinds to a halt. If you read my last 2 reviews, you know I worship those films. Honestly, I truly love the whole series- ok, except for Covenant, and trust me, I’m going to talk about that bastard at the end of my alien movie thread- but 3 is where the fans begin to dwindle. David Fincher directed it and hates it with a passion; Alien 3 is known to be one of the most troubled productions in all of cinematic history. I’m going to say the fact it turned out as well as it did is a huge credit to David Fincher’s talent because most directors would have turned it into a laughing stock but he pursued through the bullshit and gave us a fair end to the trilogy- to which I stress that last word: Trilogy. So Alien 3 begins not too long after Aliens ended with Ripley, Newt, Hicks, and Bishop in hypersleep (in Bishop’s case, more like in pieces) on the Sulaco. During hypersleep something goes awry with an electrical fire and somehow, someway two face-huggers found there way on board. Seriously, this makes no damn sense, but sure let’s go with it. There pods are shifted into a EEV and ejected from the ship. It crash lands on the shores of Fiorina “Fury” 161, a all male penal colony. Ripley is the only survivor of the crash- well human survivor. Depending what version you are watching- I’ll get to that- the face-hugger plants itself on either a dog or one of the oxen that haul the EEV out of the water. Ripley awakens, beaten up and hoarse with the colony’s doctor Clemens, who tells her of Newt and Hick’s fate. Hicks was impaled but a support beam inside the EEV and Newt drowned in her sleep; immediately Ripley demands to see Newt’s body. Then demands an autopsy; do I have to tell you why after two movies of chest bursting goodness? The warden and his assistant Aaron interrupt the procedure, informing Ripley how dangerous it is for Ripley to be on her own amongst the killers and rapists and how just because they took up religion doesn’t mean they aren’t any less dangerous. She convinces the Warden, Andrews, to cremate the bodies with some help from Clemens. In a beautiful scene a prisoner named Dillon speaks for them at the cremation, while we see the birth of the dog/runner alien. The murders begin slow but slowly Ripley pieces together what happened to get her there. Paranoid and grieved she forms a relationship with Clemens who she discovers has his own dark past that landed him there; suddenly Ripley watches in utter shock as her worst fear comes true… alien 3 iconic

but it doesn’t kill her and runs away. The alien kills Andrews in front of everyone and panic sets in. Ripley and Dillon form an uneasy alliance to pull everyone together to trap it, ending disastrously with multiple causalities and the thing still loose. Also, Ripley’s health is deteriorating. She finds the medical scanner in the crashed EEV, revealing the horrible truth, it’s inside her! A queen. Aaron stupidly contacts The Company and immediately they are on the way to retrieve Ripley and the alien. The prisoners make a final stand against the alien but can they kill it before it’s too late?

I cannot stress enough when discussing Alien 3 the fact that besides the theatrical cut, there is the Assembly cut which adds much needed depth, new perspectives, new side plots, and even a different origin point for the alien. It’s pretty damn different and almost a full half longer but I will say I enjoy the assembly cut far more. The acting is really good all around but the special effects with the alien kill me at times. In the scene illustrated above, in that moment, it looks amazing; the seconds leading up to that moment of the alien simply walking up to Ripley looks shitty as hell even by 1992 standards when it was made. It goes back and forth throughout the movie between amazing and shitty. I just have to point this out now- maximum security prison full of killers, thieves, and sex offenders and no guns because you’re on “the honor system”- bullshit dude. It’s nice 3 pulls back from Alien s heavy emphasis on action and horror and tries to go back to Scott’s suspense driven story but c’mon dude, really, not even a handgun in a lock box somewhere. I do like the bleak atmosphere and I have to say I thoroughly enjoy the operatic, Gothic feel of the score. I like how we can an idea how the creature adapts depending on it’s host. And for the best compliment I can ever give this film; the speech before the final climax that Ripley and Dillon give is my favorite pump up speech of all time, seriously. Alien 3 is a good movie and a fair end to the trilogy but not spectacularly great; if I had to rate both versions I’d give Theatrical a C+ and the assembly cut a B+ if that gives you an idea what to expect both versions. If anything should be taken away from Alien 3 it’s that great artists aren’t always the ones who make masterpieces out of gold but can make bronze from bullshit.