Category: Horror

Ed Gein: The Musical

I can only imagine what you most be thinking, but I assure you this isn’t a joke post. This movie is real. Ed Gein is one of the infamous figures in American history and inspired dozens if not hundreds of books, documentaries, biopics, as well as being the inspiration behind The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Silence of the Lambs, and Psycho. If you want any actual factual knowledge about Gein and his crimes, plenty of those documentaries are free on YouTube (don’t go to Netflix for the latest season of Monster; were you really expecting the dude behind AHS to give a account of Ed Gein?). Certainly don’t watch this.

So we follow Ed Gein as he’s busted after killing his final victim and through delusional songs, many parodying others such as “Luck be a Lady”, “Pure Imagination” from Willy Wonka, and “Hard Knock Life” from Annie, we uncover a very loose account of Gein’s story. I mean loose in the most sincere way possible.

I’m going to frank, this movie isn’t good. Did I laugh? Plenty, but I wasn’t feeling good about it. The whole thing is in bad taste at it’s core but its so flat, over the top, and cheap its not meant to be taken seriously, not even remotely (unlike Netflix’s Monster). The acting is porn level bad. The pacing is awful and feels way longer than it is. The musical numbers are funny and just trippy at times- like Gein arguing with a woman’s corpse over what style of lampshade she wants to be. The sheriff was great and his reactions to the whole thing were my favorite part of the whole movie. In the end, I can’t recommend this movie unless you’re already drunk or stoned off your ass. May the gaming god’s bring you glory.

Christmas Bloody Christmas (2022) Review

Christmas Bloody Christmas by writer/director Joe Begos, is a very odd slasher flick for me. It has all the staples of a slasher movie you would want: gory kills, campy acting that isn’t over the top, and a story that makes just enough sense to suspend disbelief but isn’t so far out there to make me just want to turn it off.

The story goes like this: a music store owner named Tori, played by the talented Riley Dandy, is convinced by her long-time employee, Robbie (the equally gifted Sam Delich), to blow off a Tinder date to drink and hang out with him instead. After a quick stop at the local toy store to visit some friends who have decided to stay late for a drunken sex filled night after hours at the store, they are off to the bar. The thing is, the toy store is where they are shown a somewhat creepy electronic Santa that is very popular because it does all the stuff a normal store Santa does, except it isn’t a real person. Personally, I took this as a shot at unfettered capitalism and how companies would rather get rid of an employee and use (quite literally in this case) repurposed military equipment to save money than hire an old man to play Santa.

At the bar, you can hear on the TV that there has been a recall on these Santas because some of them have been reverting back to their original programming. This obviously can’t mean anything bad for our drunk sex fiend friends back at the store, right? Yeah, they are about to get killed mid-coiatis. Tori and Robbie are leaving the bar around this time on their way back to Tori’s house, and assume they are just having a great time.

This, of course, leads to the eventual sex between our main characters, and this is where I need to give a shout-out to Joe. Movies like this tend to take sex scenes and turn them into an excuse to just show a ton of nudity for the sake of having nudity, and this is done quite well. Very little actual nudity ( and this is assuming you consider a thong nudity)

My only real issue comes down to the massive amount of false finishes with the villain. They start at around halfway through the movie, and I completely understand the concept of building suspense and building to a climax and building hope, etc. There does come a point when you are no longer building anything, and you are simply killing momentum for an audience.

I can only watch Mecha Santa get hit by so many cars or take so many shotgun blasts that “kill him” so many times before I don’t care if he gets up or not, and by the time Tori actually kills him, I didn’t care who died as long as the movie ended. I went from rooting for Tori to rooting for the movie to just end. I started out enjoying the movie, but by the end, I simply didn’t care. It isn’t the acting or even the story; it is simply a matter of how they chose to play it out. More deaths and fewer false deaths for Santa would have gone a long way. Best wishes, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Batman: The Long Halloween

It began with Johnny Vitti on Halloween. Every holiday, another murder linked to the once untouchable Falcone crime family. Each month, more bodies, more unrest as the Falcone’s numbers dwindle and there bloody feud with the Maroni family comes to a head, and less answers for the Dark Knight, Commissioner Jim Gordon, and DA Harvey Dent. The trio of Gotham’s heroes face a bitter line between taking down the biggest threats to Gotham, but at what cost? How far will the old crime-lords go to to preserve there empires? After a fateful tragedy and a shocking reveal, the year long caper comes to a close but nothing will ever be the same.

So first and foremost, this is one of the best Bat stories put to page. Hands down, no contest. The book is well written with dark themes, a genuinely well written mystery, and well done characters. The book was a huge inspiration behind The Dark Knight as well as The Batman. The art style is interesting with some seriously iconic imagery and sets up a creepy, vintage noir mood.

I’ve also seen the 2 part, R rated, animated movie counterparts that also do the story justice. Jensen Ackles (the GOAT of Red Hoods) was great voicing Batman but I was more surprised at Josh Duhamel doing a fantastic job voicing Harvey and eventually Two Face.

The story has a few flaws and some things I felt like in the book should’ve been expanded on more like Catwoman’s vendetta against Falcone and Gilda Dent’s mania in correlation to her husband’s ( the movie versions go much deeper into this). Another small gripe I have is I wish we got more Grundy, Scarecrow, and Mad Hatter in both versions, but that’s just me.

In the end, I can’t recommend the book enough and the movies are damn good adaption to follow up on. May the gaming god’s bring you glory and an end to your own Long Halloween.

Sinister 2 (2015) Review

Sinister 2 is obviously the Sequel to the first film, and it was not received well at all. Seriously, if you look it up over on Rotten Tomatoes, people did not like this movie at all. I honestly do not really see why. Shannyn Sossamon and James Ransone do a great job in their roles.

The story of an old pagan god that uses movies from previous kills to convince kids to murder their families isn’t exactly something that is overly done or seen either. We aren’t exactly rehashing old material here. While the movie absolutely has its faults, for example, it does use jump scares more often than I would like. It also does a fantastic job of setting up a creepy atmosphere alongside those scares.

The ghost children in the movie also manage to be downright creepy. Right from the very start, their monotone delivery alongside their happiness to deliver these other kids to damnation is spooky. I enjoyed watching them manipulate these kids into the murder plot right from the start, even if it was easy to see what they were doing.

Sinister 2 is one of those movies, while I understand it isn’t a great movie, I don’t see how so many people consider it a bad movie. It was definitely worth a watch. Best wishes, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Deadpool and Wolverine

You know you’re in trouble when Deadpool is your saving grace….Wade’s been through alot after the events of Deadpool 2. By that I mean, he hung up the guns and katanas and tried living a normal life, sucking at it, losing his spark when getting turned down by the Avengers. When the TVA shows up offering Wade legendary hero status in a new universe, he’s elated, until he realizes his universe is dying. To save it, his universe needs a new Wolverine. So it’s up to the Merc with a Mouth to find a Wolverine, escape a wasteland of banished Marvel characters, and become a goddamn Disney hero. Ain ‘t the multiverse fun?

Deadpool took the world by storm in 2016. Even with comic book movie fatigue setting in and many fans giving up on the MCU, the end of the Deadpool trilogy was the last hurrah for many. I had mixed feelings going in. My opinion of 2 soured over time, I didn’t trust Disney, and after Logan and the brilliant end to Hugh Jackman’s time as Wolverine, bringing him back, albeit as a variant, still soured things for me. After multiple rewatches, it still does. However, overall, the six-year wait was well worth it. Reynolds and Jackman bring their A games and have fantastic chemistry. The fights are bloody and memorable. Finally seeing Wolverine in his classic yellow and blue was a nerd dream come true. The cameos were outstanding and 1 in particular stole the show (I don’t want to spoil it but it was damn good to see some classics come back).

Not every joke lands, and I wish we got more crazier Deadpools for the final fight (namely Pandapool), and this movie doesn’t work nearly as well unless you’re a Marvel fan or grew up with 2000’s movies. I’ve heard casuals say the movie was a little confusing, but it’s much easier to follow than a lot of MCU stuff. In the end, Deadpool 3 is a great end to the trilogy and an even better send-off to the Fox Marvel era. Its packed with blood, fights, and nerdy fanservice that’s hard not to love. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Thunderbolts (New Avengers)

This Wheaties box is one of the funniest jokes in the film, and I laughed way too hard…Thunderbolts picks up with a group of the MCU outcasts (Yelena, US Agent, Red Guardian, Ghost, and Taskmaster) being ordered to infiltrate a shady testing facility. After duking it out a bit, they come a scrawny dude named Bob, the last living subject of a certain medical test. Bob, a former drug addict suffering from mental illness, stands out of this group like a sore thumb. But what if I told you Bob was a force that outmatches the powerhouses of Marvel like Hulk, Thor, and Captain Marvel? Under the devious influence of government head Valentina de Fontaine, Bob is molded into the Sentry, the world’s greatest hero. Can the outcasts, aligned with Winter Soldier and Red Guardian, stand a chance against Fontaine and the darkness inside Bob-for every light there is a darkness, and that darkness is the Void…

Going in, I knew what this movie was: MCU Suicide Squad. Basically, it’s what the comics are, and honestly, they’ve never been my thing, but I gave it a shot. With Captain America: Brave New World being a dud and Fantastic 4: First Steps being the best MCU flick since Spider-man: No Way Home , I was curious where this lay.

The cast is the biggest positive in my opinion. Everyone gives it their all. Florence Pugh, since her Black Widow debut, has been a bright light in the MCU’s darker days. Luis Pullman did great as Bob/Sentry/ Void. The final act goes for emotional character stakes instead of a giant boss battle, easily the best climax to a MCU film in a while. I liked the darker, mature themes like mental health, drug abuse, trauma, and guilt. The movie handled them well without going overly dark or trying to preach.

Unfortunately, the MCU itself, or rather its formula of forced humor, is this movie’s biggest weakness. I didn’t laugh much, but I rolled my eyes a lot more than I wanted to. Most of the action scenes were meh overall. Taskmaster is utterly wasted and is just a body to drop for pretend stakes (sorry for the spoiler, but seriously, the marketing spoiled it pretty quick). Valentina has been built up for a while, and her endgame didn’t really feel like much of a payoff.

In the end, the movie is ok but easily could have been above average. What it does good, it does great. The flaws kill it. It’s worth watching and I’m not mad they’ll return for Doomsday. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Cobweb (2023) Review

Cobweb (2023) is one of those movies where I love pretty much every person in the movie. Lizzy Caplan has been great in every movie I have ever seen her in, and Antony Starr speaks for himself. The young Woody Norman is their son, Peter, who does his best as their awkward homebody son, but none of this can save the film.

Let’s rewind a bit first. Lizzy playsCarol, a neurotic and overprotective mother of Peter, and who can blame her. It is almost Halloween, and they live in a town where, right down the street, a young girl went missing. never to be found. Antony plays Mark, a seemingly normal, loving man just doing what is best for his family.

Peter is their 8-year-old son who just wants to go trick-or-treating like every other kid in school, in hopes that maybe he will stop being a social outcast and maybe get the other kids to stop picking on him. This isn’t gonna happen though, since his parents aren’t fans of the holiday. They do oddly have a massive crop of pumpkins in the backyard.

Yes, there’s a body buried here somewhere.

If you think there is a body buried somewhere in the pumpkin patch, you are right. The movie tells you that for free with no guesswork involved. See, Peter quickly starts hearing a weird tapping in the wall that his parents quickly tell him isn’t real. Mark later tells him it must be rats, so they set out some rat poison. I am aware this makes no real sense; it’s just foreshadowing for the sake of a plot point later. Usually, this sort of thing serves a purpose and is hinted at, like there would be some sign of rats. Maybe they would have been eating the pumpkins, but no, they have their own issue. Rot, so they bury some.

This is the kind of writing that detracts from what should have been a great movie. Don’t get me wrong, the movie isn’t a dumpster fire; it’s enjoyable and fun for a quick watch. But what should be a movie we talk about as a movie that proves we can rehash concepts and still make quality, amazing movies, instead comes across as lazy. Best wishes, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Aliens: Fireteam Elite

Gotta start by thanking Savior for playing through the game with me because, honestly, like most multiplayer games, who your crew is means a whole world of difference. Firetam Elite is essentially an online horde shooter in the Alien universe. There’s 4 chapters, 3 missions each to play through. You pick a class, pick up consumable buffs like shock grids, sentry guns, and proximity mines and jump into action with 2 other players. Is there a story? Barely. You’re a colonial marine tasked with killing xenos- that’s it in a nutshell.

I highly recommend having at least 1 battle buddy if you’re going to play this game. Solo, the gameplay isn’t too engaging. As for any online multiplayer, we’ve played with cool people and a couple that made things way harder than they had any right to be; if you can’t find someone, the game fills the slot with an Alpha, which mostly means you’re pulling extra weight and better not die. With a buddy, the game is pretty fun at times, but not full-price fun. We had it as a PS+ freebie and neither of us had any desire to get the Pathogen DLC.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with the game, just nothing spectacular. The highlight for me was the iconic scenery that harkened back to Alien and Prometheus. I will say the ending of the final mission does the Queen Alien a massive disservice, even more the finale of Aliens: Colonial Marines. There is a nice sprinkling of Working Joes (a nice nod to Alien: Isolation ) and prequel monsters, but the Aliens themselves don’t really spark much terror.

In the end, Fireteam Elite isn’t bad if you and a friend want a pretty quick game to burn through or you’re a diehard Alien fan like I am, but there’s nothing great either. It’s one of the most average games I can think of. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Fatal Frame 2: Crimson Butterfly announcement

Another beloved horror series I never got to try returns. Honestly, if it’s done with the love and care that the majority have shown, I welcome it. Many friends have praised Crimson Butterfly as a great horror game with a great story. This remake is definitely on my playlist for 2026. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Resident Evil 9 trailer 2

I’m already saving my damn money for Re9’s release. The game looks incredible. I like that we haven’t had much look into what the enemies will be like. I want to be surprised by what’s lurking in Raccoon City’s ruins. The enemy we have seen is simply nightmare fuel. Absolutely, this is going to be a late birthday present come February. May the gaming gods bring you glory.