No Man’s Sky, The journey continues

no mans sky

The story of No Man’s Sky is a very storied one. From big dreams and great hype to broken promises and more. By now we are all familiar with all that stuff tho by now. So I am going to give you a brief breakdown on my original thoughts on the game, then add my take on the new stuff added.

First my seemingly unpopular opinion. I was unaware of most of the hype and promise surrounding the game. The graphics while not great were pretty fun I thought and the joy of discovering new creatures was great. There were plenty of bad things, but I will save that for the next section.

The updates over the last year have been great, most notably for me was the base building is easy and fun to use and the more frequent space battles are pretty cool. That being said some of the main flaws are still there. For example you will still be spending 90% of your time simply shooting stuff to collect resources and the story while expanded is still pretty meh over all.

Honestly if you have never played the game before now is a great time to give it  shot, but if like me you logged a ton of hours at release ( I was up over 60 easily) there isn’t much reason to come back unless you love base building. There are better games out there like Elite Dangerous if you simply have an itch to go exploring the galaxy. Fly safe and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Aliens- the evolution and variances of Xenomorphs

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There’s a common misconception amongst people, many think an alien is just an alien but the deadly beauty of the Xenomorph is the creatures ability to adapt and reconfigure itself depending on it’s host. The prequels added fuel when names like Deacon, Trilobite, and Neomorph began getting thrown about; don’t get me started on how much of a bitch it was trying to explain the difference between the classic creature and Covenant’s Protomorph. But have no fear, Torsten V to the rescue to explain Xeno anatomy throughout the films.

0.The Pathogen/ black ooze- In Prometheus we are introduced to the vase like canisters containing the evolutionary substance. It radically causes mutation in all biological lifeforms and death when heavily exposed. One drop was all it took to set the events of the later half of Prometheus in motion. In Covenant we see how experiments with the Pathogen and wildlife have foarmed tiny pods in the grass that release a spore form of the ooze that can seek nearby life, causing Neomorph impregnation. We know the Engineers created this as a weapon and they planned to use it on us at a point and I theorize some of the ancient Xenomorph DNA resides in it but we don’t know. Either way, shit is mean.

hammerpede

  1. Hammerpede- we see it crawl straight out of a puddle of the pathogen. Don’t ever take it’s appearance as harmless or “kinda cute”. After assuming a stance like a cobra as shown above, it lashes out, acting primarily like another snake, constricting around its victim with deadly strength. We see it crush a man’s arm, fracturing it to where the bones are outright exposed in  minute. Also it has acid for blood. It’s complete pattern isn’t revealed but it’s a dangerous little bastard.

trilobite

2. Trilobite- the ultimate evil of drunken sex incarnate. Elizabeth Shaw, our barren heroine in Prometheus discovers she is miraculously 4-5 months pregnant with this cutie. It’s origin? 1 drop of pathogen in a infected host and sex. After a harrowing ang gruesome scene, Shaw gets it out. At the end of the film it grows to the size of a small car, the tentacles massive and muscular, the inside of it revealed to be a long penis and six toothed vaginas…it’s pretty nightmarish. After violating an engineer, the finale of the film is it’s offspring.

deacon

3. The deacon- my twitch name is deacon2012, here’s why. The last minutes of Prometheus we witness this creature break out of the engineer’s stomach. We don’t know much about except for it’s close relation to the alien. But a beautiful specimen all the same.

neomorph

4. The Neomorph- the saving grace in my opinion of Alien: Covenant. Created by exposure to pathogen spores, depending where the spores make contact depends where the creatures will breech from. We see one breech from someone’s back and another man has one rip out of his throat in a gory display. From the get go they are clawed and very hostile.  Starting from roughly the size of a puppy they can grow to roughly 7 feet tall in a very fast time (tune in for my Covenant to hear about this). Unlike the alien and deacon, the neomorph has no extendable jaw, instead having a impressively large mouth of razor sharp teeth. It’s able to decapitate someone with ease. Ghostly white in color, it’s face puckered into a little pink kiss, and long bony spikes protruding from it’s back are clear indicators. I highly recommend checking out the concept art for it because they are freaky as hell.

protomorph

5. Protomorph- so we get David’s perfect creature at last, just not as evolved yet. Whereas the perfected Xenomorph begins life as a worm like creature, this prototype begins life as a baby with tiny features (it’s hard not to look at baby and think “I am Groot!”) and grows ludicrously fast. This alien looks similar to the classic but there are notable differences: the head is slimmer and longer, the front teeth have more of a human structure, the limbs are longer and the body is leaner and more muscular without the bulk of a developed exoskeleton of the Warrior type or even the “Big Chap”. It shares the neomorph’s unbridled aggression which is part of why it’s flawed.

egg

6. Ovamorph/ Egg and facehugger- Where it all began. One egg, one person, and one horror. The Egg stands roughly 3-4 feet tall and has leathery texture. Inside is the facehugger that carries the alien’s seed to impregnate the host. They’re quick and agile moving like a spider. They have a perfect system once the host is captured. Host becomes locked in a controlled coma; the creature provides oxygen but will tighten the tail around the victim’s throat if an attempt to pry it off is made. It’s skin has a silicon base and it’s blood is acid based. The perfected alien usually takes a day to lay the embryo while David’s proto-eggs laid there’s much quicker and more potently. Either way, this form of the creature falls off and dies after the embryo is laid. I wonder what happens next?

baby alien

6. Chestburster- ahh. How ever you look at it, this little tike is going to break out of your chest and you will die. Depending on the host, the fetus will appear differently. For example: in Alien 3 the host is not human instead of what we see above, we get something like a pup- a miniature version of the adult. Within a day they mature into the adults, the badasses, the oh no…

alien c1

7. Alien/ Xenomorph/ “The Serpent”/ ” The Dragon”/ “The Big Chap” – So these are bad. Almost perfect biological killing machines, sharp teeth, claws, tongue that can blast through bone and light metal like a piston, bladed tail lined with sharp edges. They are intelligent, can withstand extreme temperatures and pressures, and do not require oxygen; they are incredibly strong, fast, resilient, and have keen senses . They’re bodies adapt, getting new traits from there hosts. In Alien, during a controversial deleted scene we learn a alien can potentially convert bio matter into eggs; in Aliens the warriors are more ridged, heavy, and hardened for combat; in Alien 3 the creature moves on four legs, is slightly smaller and leaner, but acts much like an attack dog. In comics and other media we’ve seen other breeds such as the Gorilla Alien, The Mantis Alien, and in Mortal Kombat X even the Baraka Alien which…pimpin yahl as well as other. In my Alien Resurrection review I covered Ripley and the Queens mutant freak baby, so I won’t talk much on that, leaving just her highness…

queen

8. Queen Alien- save the best for last. These hotties are twice the size of your standard alien, four armed, and epic as hell is the mother of the hive. She creates a large sac to lay eggs, rendering her stationary though not defenseless. It’s a common theory she a telepathic connection to her warriors, she is in fact more intelligent than the rest. If you you find yourself in battle with her…sorry dude.

That brings us to a close; I hope I cleared up any questions or misconceptions about the Xenomorphs. May the gaming gods bring you glory because in space no one will hear you scream.

wetdream

Rock Of Ages 2 PS4

rock of ages 2

This game was very weird. The tutorial isn’t very informative so I wasn’t exactly clear on what I was supposed to do at first. That being said the story is presented in a very Monty Python style cartoon which I greatly enjoyed. The graphics for the actual game play tho is a little on the dull side but they are acceptable.

The main game play is essentially a tower defense game, you build stuff to stop your opponent from rolling a ball down a hill to bust open some castle doors while they do the same to you During my time with the demo tho you basically  can ignore the rest and just smash the castle open. I do feel like in the actual game on the higher levels that will into play far more. The real fun here is the couch Co-op portion. I played with my daughter and we had a blast, tho i may have to ground her for a month if she doesn’t stop putting the sticky cows everywhere to slow my ball down. And yes we were on the same team, damn team killing kid. Anyway go give it a shot, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Insidious: the Last Key trailer

insidious 4

Yesterday the new, much anticipated trailer for Insidious 4 dropped and I’m happy to report I found new intrigue in what I saw. Admittedly I never saw either sequel because the trailers or word of mouth sparked the desire to do so but this trailer intrigued me enough to want to see it. From what little I could gather, 4 will follow series regular, elderly medium Elise as she returns to the house she grew up in and scary shit happens. I got a eerie vibe from the imagery and a sense of some decent WTF moments I enjoyed about the original. I can’t say much from one trailer and the fact I’m unfamiliar with how the rest of the series plays out but I’ll keep an eye out for more… may the gaming gods bring you glory as always.

Knack 2 Preview

knack 2

Having never played the Original I wasn’t really sure what to expect in any way. So I downloaded the demo. The demo starts off with a scene about celebrating martial arts more than anything else. This probably has something to do with the first game so admittedly I did’t quite get it. Moving on, you are in a sort of fight pit beating up on some poor dude that I hope was a willing participant but hey who knows. What follows is a very well brawler style game with a few buttons that can be used in various ways to beat the crap out of what is basically 3 different people, one with shield one with a staff and some poor bastard punching legos with his fist.

There is also a mechanic that lets you switch between being bigger and smaller, tho being smaller which is used once or twice during the demo to solve puzzles. Honestly if you are one of the rare people that enjoy that style of game you will most likely enjoy Knack 2 however I did not care for it. Have a great day, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

 

Little Evil

little evil

Little Evil is a horror comedy new to Netflix that admittedly I watched for two reasons, 1. Adam Scott is hilarious. 2. step dads being abused by children is funny. This movie did not disappoint me at all. The movie starts with the step dad being legit buried alive. We then go back a week to see how we got here. The acting is top notch, and has a few cameos I won’t spoil. As the movie moves on it takes an odd but fun turn. For example in retaliation for burying him alive step dad fills the kids floaties with sand and sends him down a water slide because hey, the kid is literally the Antichrist. There is much more to the movie but I really don’t want to spoil such a great experience.

Comedy horror movies are usually pretty bad but this one gets my full recommendation for all comedy or horror fans. It pretty much has everything you would want with the exception of a standard horror movie sex scene but honestly its not even needed. Go give it a shot, an may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Fishing Planet

fishing planet-2

I used to go fishing with my dad as a kid every summer, so on occasion I partake in a fishing or hunting game. I have played a few but most were simply decent games nut nothing fancy. Check out these graphics tho.

fishing planet

For a free fishing game they are great, the sounds are also great and the controls are basically flawless for a fishing game.

The starting tutorial is short an to the point and will teach you the basics of catching a fish. The game then sends you on your way to go on fishing trips in various and numerous places in North  America. There are some flaws however, for example the character customization is very very limited.  You will unlock more outfits later but your avatar goes pretty unchanged.

The bottom line on this one is if you love fishing, this game is the closest I have ever seen to fishing without actually going fishing. Now get out there, reel in a big one, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Within (2016)

within

I watched this movie as a sort of joke. The idea sounded so basic I figured I would watch this have some laughs at the bad movie, come on here bash it a bit and move on.

Here is the very basic plot. A man moves his daughter and new wife to a new place for a job and away from the daughters sorted teenage past. The family soon finds out about some murders and strange disappearances in the home and odd things start happening. See pretty basic. The acting is nice, the script solid and the visuals and sound are well done. While I admit my purpose was to insult this movie I can’t. Its not perfect, and the start is pretty slow and at times seemingly without purpose. Tho with those complaints aside, the movie was still solid enough to be worth watching and the ending was one of those rare things I did not see coming. That alone was worth the time to me. So get out there and give it a watch, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Minecraft

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Ok this is going to be one of those reviews that some people will love and others will ask why I hate happiness.

First a quick rehash for those living under a rock and don’t know what game is. There are 2 modes survival and creative. Creative gives you access to everything from the start and survival lets you start from scratch to build tools and a house and survive during the day and hide out at night. Or go mining for rocks and rare minerals.

Now that we got that out of the way, how the fuck did strip mining the world become a fun game that kids seem to love? Seriously like 90% of this game is whacking stuff with different sticks to build a house you are never in because you are out collecting stuff. Now creative mode I get, you can create some insane shit here and that’s awesome. But half the game still makes no real sense to me. Oh well, thanks for listening to my rant, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Beast of Xmoor

This the the story of 3 people hunting a rare large cat in Europe. Georgia is for lack of a better way to describe her a sort of journalist of rare animals while her boyfriend Matt is a camera man. Georgia receives a a call from an old friend she met in a bar named Fox, a hunter and tracker of creatures and has helped Georgia in the past find creatures thought not to exist.

This particular hunt however takes an odd turn. The creature they are hunting isn’t a large cat after all, but what Fox believes to be a serial killer. The movie itself has some odd yet fun twist and turns while the characters may be a little one dimensional at times they are still interesting enough to get the job done.

My only real complaint is that the movie takes place mostly in the woods at night which is fine, but many of the scenes are so dark they are at times painful to watch. That aside it was a pretty fun movie for a B movie found randomly on Netflix and had a solid twist ending that wasn’t just done for the same of having one. i would recommend checking it out sometime, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.