Tag: Horror

A Christmas Horror Story

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A Christmas Horror Story is pretty upfront about what it is honestly. It is a horror movie and a Christmas movie.  It is actually multiple stories happening all at once, some rather interesting such as Santa fighting zombie elves at the north pole. Others not so much, such as  the ghost story in a basement.

One of the highlights of this movie for me was William Shatner playing a radio dj that i working a double for Christmas. As the movie progresses he gets more and more into the Christmas spirit with eggnog and booze until he is just drinking booze out of the bottle.

The movie itself however ranges from pretty bad to downright average at best. Normally this is the part where I say unless you are a pretty avid horror fan to avoid the movie, but this time I won’t do that. I actually recommend anybody that is even remotely a horror fan watch it. The Krampus story arc and the Santa is pretty fun, and the short fight between the two is interesting, but the ending of the movie is why I say to watch. I won’t spoil anything for you, but it is worth it. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Stranger Things (Season Two)

And we are back with Stranger Things, Season two. Now I will admit I am a bit late on this one to. Its not my fault… I was playing video games and never got around to watching…ok so it was my fault.

Anyway was season two as good as season one? Well no. And who thought it would be? But damn it was good. That part with? And the other with? And? Yea well you know..my hatred of spoilers makes it really hard to review a Netflix series.

I will give you this one. At one part they all go to school and are they only kids dressed up for Halloween. Poor bastards. And to make matters worse they all assumed the black kid was going to be Winston when they went as the Ghostbusters. Seriously kid get some new friends. And not the girl with the skateboard and the brother that is a huge racist….aaaand that’s his new friend. Damn it kid.

Seriously tho, while maintaining its cliche 80’s feel that many of us loved the show took on a similar but different feel this time around. The kids have matured a bit after last seasons incident and who can blame them?

The town has also changed, friends have gone, new people have moved in relationships have changed. They have actually done a great job of making it feel like time has passed. But the more things change the more they stay the same.

Now I can’t give to many details without spoiling season one, but I will say this. While the initial threat from season one was stopped, it hasn’t truly gone away. A new threat has emerged and this time it may be more than the town in trouble. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Stranger Things (Season 1)

Stranger things was one of those shows I hadn’t heard of until it was out. Then people went ballistic over it. I am talking everyone I knew screaming watch this damn show it is the best thing out there ballistic.

The problem is these same told me The Walking Dead was the best written show on television. TWD was good. But the hype didn’t stand up to reality.

That being said I broke down and watched the first season of Stranger things probably after most people did. And while I won’t say it is the best thing out there it is amazing.

Season one starts out in possibly the most 80’s nerd way possible. Kids in a basement playing D&D. That is Dungeons and Dragons for you nerd illiterates. Anyway after we hear a complaint to mom about having only played for like 10 hours the group goes home.

Seriously this show is essentially an 80’s horror movie cliche. It even has a token black kid, tho he doesn’t die first thankfully because he rounds out the group very nicely. Later on we discover an evil corporation is covering stuff up, teens are going missing and dying.

The story is great, but these damn kids honestly make it. 11 does more without talking than some actors do at twice her age with a full script and if Finn Wolfhard can keep his head on straight and avoid the rampant abuse in Hollywood he is going places and I hope all these kids nothing but the best.

The show however is not perfect. Remember when I said the show was basically an 80’s horror movie cliche? I meant that in a very real sense. Some of the dialogue can be corny and one dimensional at times, the big bad creature is hardly seen and when it is to be honest I wasn’t neither scared or impressed. Everyone should at least try the first few episodes. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Silent Hill (2006)

I am not normally a fan of movies based off video games, tho admittedly I never really got into the Silent Hill games. I’m told the movie is pretty far off, and maybe that is why I am also one of the few people I personally know that seemed to enjoy the movie.

Also interesting is that the Silent Hill town in the movie is based off a real life town called Centralia that I have physically been to well before the movie came out. (Tho the few remaining residents pretty much hate people going there now even more than when I was there) tho if you want some back info on that I will include a link.

https://uncoveringpa.com/visiting-centralia

Anyway back to the movie itself. Visually for its time it was pretty damn creepy and the sound simply added to that even now. Having never seen pyramid head in the game I get why people were freaked out by the guy. That giant sword cutting through a steel door like it was made of butter is enough to unsettle anyone. The creepy nurses in the basement and their twitchy movements followed by maiming each other was a bit sick to.

The story itself however of a little girl going missing was a bit cliche with mom looking for her and dad looking for them both has pretty much been done to death. It was pretty well done all the same tho all the same.

There are plenty of twist and turns to keep the movie interesting and I enjoyed it. The movie wasn’t perfect and you currently need to pay close attention to it, I’d watch it alone at night personally to get the full feeling of it. Best wishes and my the gaming gods bring you glory.

Scouts Guide to the Apocalypse (2015)

I’m not going to lie to you guys, I knew nothing about this movie. My daughter made me watch this and admittedly I was pleasantly surprised.

While some of the dialogue was a bit corny and many of the jokes have been made before the movie was fairly well done. It also had everything a horror comedy needs.

Cheap laughs? Got them. Good looking women? Got those as well. Zombie stripper? Yup. Zombie deer? Yup. Zombie singing Brittney Spears?…yea..that’s actually a thing too.

While the movie isn’t perfect and there are by far better movies out there I can’t think of a reason not to watch this one. By all means check it out, best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Home Sweet Hell

This freaking movie was in both the horror and comedy section. It is not a horror movie. It is a pretty good movie,but not a horror movie.

That being said a guy with the last name of a high class alcohol has a wife is way hotter than he could ever get cheats on her with a woman that may actually be even more hot. Now I can’t really blame him. This chick is INSANE. Like sex is scheduled in advanced and can in no way be changed. She controls pretty much every aspect of his life.

Of course this goes well for awhile until inevitably out of his league but slightly less crazy woman number 2 decides she wants money or she is telling his wife.

Now I am going to stop here, because believe it or not that is simply where the story gets started. The rest is full of drugs, murder, and intrigue. While not quite a horror movie and really isn’t truly funny the movie itself is pretty solid. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Haunting in Cawdor

Normally I watch a movie, tell you guys a bit about it and tell you what I think. This time I thought maybe the fault is with me. I must have missed something. So I looked up a short synopsis. Nope I understood the movie. But I figured I don’t want to lie or steer you guys wrong. Maybe I am just wrong here. You guys may be starting to trust me. So I looked up a few other reviews. Nope. Pretty universal. This movie sucks. Its shit. Don’t watch it. Here is a quick run down anyway.

Bunch of criminals score enough good faith points to get sent to a special camp rehabilitate. Mostly petty stuff mind you, DUI , drugs. Mostly kids that became adults. 1 however was a victim of abuse and killed someone. Enter Camp Cawdor. Part of the rehab is to put on a play, Shakespeare this time. 90 days of working at the camp 20 miles from anywhere, working on the play then performing for the nearest town.

After finding a tape our main woman Vivian finds an old VHS tape. (I’ve provided an image for the young kids.)

The tape appears to show someone being murdered. What follows is a weird tale of betrayal, possibly inappropriate relationships, stolen drugs and broken hearts.

The movie sucked tho. The acting wasn’t bad, and the start of the movie was pretty enjoyable. But after over an hour of being extremely slow it finally starts to pick up but when it does you won’t care. The plot twist isn’t good the murder isn’t scary or even clever and worst of all the ending feels forced. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Freddie vs Jason, The Freddie side.

As kids there were plenty of arguments. Who would win? Freddie or Jason Voorhees? Obviously we would never know. Why would they even fight in the first place? One slaughters campers at Crystal lake mostly and the other, people over on Elm street. It didn’t even make sense. People just wanted it in the 80’s and 90’s. But then the 2000’s came.

Four years after his daughter kills him Freddie is in his own personal hell, both literally and figuratively. Meanwhile the town of Springwood has erased the memory of Freddie and all traces of his existence. The fear that fuels the nightmare machine is gone. Freddie is gone. Nothing can bring him back.

Freddie however has one last plan. If his children aren’t afraid of him he is powerless to do anything. But there is a sleeping man, a sleeping monster that can change it all. The plan is simple. That plan is Jason Voorhees.

Send the sleeping Jason to Springwood, make them afraid. Rise from the ashes and return to his former glory. There is just one small flaw that the master of dreams didn’t consider. Jason won’t kill just one or two of Freddie’s children. He will kill them all. And Freddie can’t allow that.

Join Torsten later for the Jason half of the review and our take on who won the fight if anyone. Best wishes and may the gaming gods being you a glorious Halloween.

Abby Grace (2016)

Abby Grace. The name just kind of rolls off the tongue. Seriously just say it out loud a couple times. Did you try it? Yea it really doesn’t, just wanted to see if you would try it.

Anyway now that I had my fun the movie itself is about a psychiatrist that goes back home after her mom dies to help out her very OCD brother that has a phobia of the outside world. Don’t feel bad about the mom dying by the way, she was insane and is responsible for the state of the brother.

After the brother complains for a few days about putting fresh flowers on moms grave and his sister grudgingly doing it her dog brings home a little music box he digs up and leaves it on bros bed. This is where shit turns bad. He also has a very strange obsession with coconut water.

As always I try to give you guys some details while avoiding as many details as possible. Many times I don’t even include names, unfortunately this story very much requires a couple small ones. If you don’t want them please stop reading here. I will place a random picture at the beginning and end of the spoilers section. Skip to after the 2nd picture if you just want to know if I feel the movie is worth watching.

Back in 1919 the house used to be a boarding school until the headmistress killed herself and in the 1940’s a little girl killed her entire family. The house however is not in itself haunted, but an object that is in or near the house itself is that every so often allows a poltergeist to go on a killing spree.

And we are done with spoilers. Anyway while the story is a pretty standard ghost story it is fairly fun and well done with some nice twist and turns. If you are a fan of those types of movies its a pretty good movie to see. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Diary of the Dead

Another great Romero zombie movie. I actually reviewed these way out of order, the main characters from Survival of the Dead actually show up to rob these college kids in Diary of the dead which is a scene shown in both movies.

Another small issue is for a large part of this movie they are attempting to get to Scranton Pennsylvania. Torsten and Myself are both from Scranton, very few people would come here and it is not as nice as the movie makes it look.

This movie actually depicts the beginning of the zombie apocalypse itself, starting with the first attack and people finding out about it. In fact at first our college amigos and amigas don’t even believe its real.

This movie actually demonstrates why I don’t hang out with film people. One guy is so obsessed with filming he actually almost lets his friends and himself die a few times.

The visuals and sound are pretty standard for a Romero movie. Not spectacular but good enough and the story is a simple tale of a group trying to get home while dealing with learning how to survive, the dangers of both zombies and humanity and of course how it feels to be part of a whole new dangerous world. I suggest you check this one out..in the proper order obviously. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.