Category: Horror

Our favorites, day 30: Halloween

halloween

Of course this was going to be here, it is the definitive classic of the holiday. A kid in a clown costume stabs his sister, gets locked in the funny farm, and 15 years later busts out and goes killing teenagers in his sleepy little hometown of Haddonfield. Simple but oh so awesome. Donald Pleasence is outstanding as Loomis, giving one of the best “we’re fucked” speeches ever; Michael is genuinely creepy and menacing; the theme is iconic; and it is my all time favorite OH SHIT ending. Michael Myers will always be the Boogeyman to me. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Pumpkinhead 2:Bloodwings (1993)

Pumpkinhead 2 starts out in a flashback to the 1950’s where a group of kids hunt down, torture and kill a disfigured kid and drop him down a mine shaft. Years later another group of kids rob a witch, and summon Pumpkinhead. Pumpkinhead goes on a killing spree for the teens that robbed the witch and killed the disfigured boy.

This is a short synopsis and I kept it short because honestly the movie was awful. The acting is pretty solid and the monster still looks good enough but everything else is just horrible. The story makes no real sense, the dialogue is corny and the plot is full of holes and doesn’t even make much sense. For example the slam this witch with a car doing about 40 miles an hour and she gets right up and walks away but a quick hit with a flashlight and she is down for the count. Pumpkinhead in the first movie is well documented as only being summoned for truly horrible things and now its being summoned for petty theft and attacking people who had nothing to do with the crime?

Even with all of this aside much of what made the first movie interesting in the first place is also gone. There isn’t much redeeming about this movie at all, in fact it is better off avoided. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

American Horror Story: Cult

ahs 7

In the USA over the past few years, politics have gone awry to be blunt. Something began rapidly changing how I saw the world and I knew it wasn’t good. The seventh American Horror Story dives into the horror of our political landscape and the people it creates. Instead of focusing on the supernatural, this deals with phobias and the conspiracies we believe in.

Ally and Ivy are a loving same sex couple with there son Oz, living a quiet successful until the 2016 Presidential Election where there world crashes. Ally has something of a breakdown, where her fears start coming forth: Bees, holes in her skin, and clowns to name a few. Things begin happening around the couple slowly as they take on troubled gray haired beauty Winter to look after Oz and Ally becomes paranoid of the outside world and the blue haired extremist rising through the local ranks of politics. Enter Kai Anderson. Kai has aspirations and goals to change the world, the influence he controls quickly escalates and suddenly Ally realizes he is everywhere…

This one is a tough call. I respect and like what they were going for plot-wise but sometimes there are parts so over the top I had to laugh but  I don’t think I was meant to.  I honestly hated the first episode and I wasn’t invested until 3 or 4 episodes in. Evan Peters outdoes himself as the maniacal Anderson. The last episode kills the season for me in a lot of ways, which sucks because Peters performance really drives the season and the connections to real life cults. I really like that it’s completely R rated because if this season was watered down, it’d be a total flop. In the end, I’d say it’s alright but far from the best of the series but worth streaming. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Our favorites, day 29: Trick r Treat

trick r treat

Trick r Treat is my favorite anthology movie of probably all time and for good reason: all four stories are unique and cleverly woven into a single narrative of Halloween night in a tiny suburb. Sam is a underground horror icon and weirdly I’d call him my 4th favorite horror icon. Trick r Treat makes the list because it was a small little film I found in the shit bin at BlockBuster that I’d seen trailers for in nothing movies that turned out to be the best horror movie I’ve seen in years. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

PumpkinHead (1988)

Oh Pumpkin Head, the 1988 cult classic. The story is simple, some city folks accidentally kill a child with their dirt bike, and dad (Lance Henriksen) goes to an old witch type woman to call upon the folklore monster of Pumpkinhead to come and kill those city bastards. The problem is when Ed Harley starts to actually see the deaths happen he starts to have some buyers remorse. When it turns out he can’t undo what has already been done he sets out to stop the monster himself.

The creature actually looked pretty solid for the 1980’s and the story itself is pretty fun. The movie isn’t actually all that special and offers nothing new really. It is just a tail of revenge and a creature being fought, but what makes this different is that Ed really seems to regret it and tries to stop it even tho he is the one that was wronged in the first place. Pumpkinhead himself isn’t even truly evil as he can only be summoned by someone against someone who has done something really bad against them. You can’t summon him because your neighbor like keyed your car or because she won’t go out with you on a Friday night. The movie is a fun watch, but it isn’t a great movie. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

As always feel free to help us out if you want the movie by picking it up on Amazon

Pumpkinhead

Jigsaw

jigsaw

Wanna play a game? Well, Lionsgate does because they probably need money. That is pretty much the first, lingering thought I had through most of this damn movie: Cash Grab.

Almost a decade has passed since the last Jigsaw killings. All of John Kramer’s followers are dead and gone, or are they? The investigations kick up after a series of bodies turn up mutilated in classic Jigsaw fashion as we discover a new game afoot. The players involved have sins Jigsaw demands they confess. As a mortician and his jigsaw obsessed assistant follow the leads, they begin to discover a truth about John Kramer and the event that kicked off his descent into madness, leading to the question did he really die in the first place?

For the most part this movie can up and kiss my ass. Jigsaw maybe a reboot but essentially it reuses most of the series plots in a mash. The final trap is pretty cool in a way over the top WTF fashion but none of the traps are really memorable. The characters are forgettable except for Tobin Bell’s cameo. It is filmed better than most of the series and it is really fast paced but in the end, it’s a Saw movie, by movie #8 in the series you should know what you are in for. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Our favorites, day 28: Frankenstein

Frankenstein

Of classic horror, there was something special about Frankenstein’s monster. The poor bastard never asked to be made, and unlike Dracula or the Wolf-man, he does have compassion. Boris Karloff was genuinely eerie as the brute but also sad. While a far cry from the book, the old black and white movie  is still iconic and pretty effective to this day and my favorite of the originals, which is why I put it on this list. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Resident Evil 7 (Torsten’s thoughts)

re7

Resident evil 7 review was one of Savior’s earliest reviews and around then he had me borrow this and Evil Within 2 Review so it has definitely been a while but I’m getting to it in the spirit of Halloween cheer. A quick shout out to my friend Violet who went through a good chunk of the game with me and made it fun.

Essentially we play as Ethan, a dude who’s wife Mia sends him a tape after disappearing, leading him to the Baker’s estate. The house is in ruin and it isn’t long before he meets the Baker family: Jack, Marguerite, Lucas, and there dilapidated granny who show off some pretty terrifying feats, while the Molded freaks pour out of it’s walls. Are you ready to be part of the family?

While not my favorite of the series by a long shot, it is the best we’ve seen in over a decade. I was worried when it was announced it was going to be first person but surprisingly it’s done pretty effective. The gameplay is solid and there are some good throwbacks to the classics like the limited inventory system and safe rooms with tape recorders instead of type writers. There is another cool feature where you get to play through other people’s perspectives through VHS tapes you find. The Bakers are intimidating and worthy foes, Jack and Marguerite especially. Honestly, the Bakers are the highlight of the game.

There are some issues I have with the game though. The Molded are pretty weak enemies and beside the Bakers, that’s all you get unfortunately; there are slight variations but nothing spectacular. If you are decent enough with the knife you are solid. Another problem is Ethan is painfully bland; his dull reactions to some really traumatic shit are hilarious on the level of Sebastian from Evil Within . On top of that, Evelyn is a super disappointing final boss who tries too hard to be the standard creepy horror movie girl.

In a lot of ways, Resident Evil 7 doesn’t feel like Resident Evil. There’s pieces of Texas Chainsaw Massacre , F.E.A.R , Saw , and Alien: Isolation just to name a few. It rides the line between omage and rip off at times but I can’t deny it’s a good, solid horror title I recommend picking up for casual fan or series vetern. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Our favorites, day 27: Planet Terror

planet terror

Planet Terror is one of my favorite movies of all time. There’s some of the most disgusting zombie’s I’ve ever seen, a stripper with a machine gun leg, a guy with a penchant for taking people’s balls, and a scene where a dude wastes zombies off a pocket bike- all to a cool jazzy score that gives it a Cowboy Bebop flavor. This movie is just awesome and that’s why it’s on this list.

Our favorites, day 26: the Exorcism of Emily Rose

emily rose

I’m not a huge possession fan  when it comes to horror, although I do agree with Savior on Our Favorites, Day 2. The Exorcist. but I was actually chilled by Emily Rose. I liked the idea of the movie being accounts of what happened to her, signaling that there in reality was no happy ending (though they tried too damn hard to it give it one in my opinion.) The image of her frozen, contorted body roaring freaked me the hell out. I’d say it makes the list because it was made with love and it was the only possession movie to actually get me. May the gaming gods bring you glory.