Savior Gaming

I don’t often share personal still on this blog, and I know many of you come here for reviews and opinions on games and movies or some quick news. So by all means skip this post,I won’t be insulted at all. None of that will be found here. This is simply me talking about what happened 2 years ago today, and why the United States Marine Core Motto is here.

First, me and my dad were never all that close. I have been calling him Drew since I was about 12. For the most part we watched some movies together here and there and in the summer until I was a bit older we played baseball, aside from that he did his thing and I did mine. He was also did some time in Vietnam and was a corporal in the United States Marines, one of the few things I have ever known him to be proud of besides the 9 years he spent working on an ambulance.

Despite us not being close he did teach me some things, many of them I found out later from my girlfriend were quite odd. For example he taught me how to make some basic traps and explosives. I never really got a straight answer on why besides “why not, they taught me so i’m teaching you” which as a kid made as much sense as anything else but as an adult, really doesn’t. He taught me some basic emergency first aid, which again his answer to why was “Why not, I know so I am teaching you” which again as a kid made sense. This pattern repeats quite a bit honestly. He wasn’t perfect tho, he was quite abusive towards me and my brother yet never my mother. In fact I don’t even think he knew he was abusing us tho I can really understand why he would think punching a 10 year old in the face was ok.

Oddly this stopped when we swung back. Clearly it didn’t end very well for me or my brother at the time,hell we were kids and he was a Marine, but it was almost like the whole thing was his way of making sure we could take care of ourselves and when he knew we could he saw no point.

Another thing he taught me, tho he never knew it was that if you have the ability you should help those around you. It always bothered me as a kid that he would take off to help someone that wasn’t his family when they got hurt or sick. Once at about 3 in the morning a guy was harassing our neighbor and he went and beat the crap out of the guy. As an adult tho, I find myself doing similar things to the point my girlfriend and Ex wife have numerous times told me I have a hero complex and need to save everyone.

All of this story does have a point. A little over 2 years ago we found out Drew had cancer. He seemed to have known for awhile and never mentioned it. See we lost contact for about a decade and when his mom died he came home for the funeral and just kind of stayed. He was here for a couple years before he died getting to know his grand kids. He had a few, 4 granddaughters. The youngest is only 2, only a few months old when he kicked the bucket actually. He died June 1st 2017, and as I write this that morning I was talking to my mom and she said she didn’t think he would last much longer and offered to drive over to get me so I could say good bye. At the time she didn’t really understand why I said no, but I told her he probably would’y last until I got there. See it is about a 20 minute trip to my house and back and I didn’t want my mom to not there.

It was only about 10 minutes later I got a text, “he’s gone.”  See I had visited the weekend before and had already had my time with him to say good bye. Neither me or Drew outright said it would be the last time we saw each other but we both knew. He just asked a bunch of questions he usually didn’t ask me, like ever. Truthfully I never told anyone this before, it was always just our moment, but I feel the need to share now. He asked how the kids were but not in the sense of that day. My oldest daughter Marissa is high functioning autistic and he wanted to know if I thought she would be ok in life and if I realized that if Kaitlin had a bit more confidence she would go further than any of us. He mentioned how cute Penny was and how he thought her and Aria (my niece) would probably be inseparable and he was right. Most importantly tho I remember going to leave that day and knowing he would say what he always does, “Be good Matt, see you later” as he had since I was a little kid. This time it never came tho. It was the moment I realized he truly was saying good bye in his own way. It hasn’t always been easy, nor have I always succeeded. In fact i am pretty sure I have failed more than I succeeded. But the last words I ever heard him say were “Have fun Matt, do good” So with that in mind old man Semper Fidelis, dad.