Graveyard Shark

The other day a friend of mine shot me a message and said hey, you need to watch Graveyard Shark on Tubi and he refused to explain why. He does this occasionally and I am never disappointed. The movie is always either a complete train wreck,or a masterpiece,but they are always enjoyable.

  This time,the movie manages to be both. You can guess by the name what this movie is about, a sort of man shark is buried in a cemetery after it is thought to be killed by a fisherman. It turns out it isn’t dead,and now it is killing people in this graveyard.

This is a rubber suit. And I don’t know why it’s a spiked leather jacket

  Now there are some twists and turns and things I absolutely refuse to spoil, but at no point I’m this movie did I know what was going to happen next. The entire plot of the movie from where the shark came from,to how they get rid of it and everything ok between was a rollercoaster ride of what the hell is going on.

I mean all of this in the best way possible, I never wanted to know for example how a mermaid has sex or that Bigfoot was a bottom. I do however know both of these things now. So go,learn these things,and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

How To Be Single (2016)

How to be Single Starring Rebel Wilson (Robin) and Dakota Johnson (Alice) is the story of a new college graduate that she decides she needs to take a break from he long term college boyfriend and learn to be single and who she is. Alive takes a job as a paralegal to do exactly that.

This is where she meets Robin, a party girl that loves to get drunk, have one night stands,meet new people and just all around have a good time. This is where Alice learns how to do it all and life to its fullest.

This is also how Alice learns single life isn’t as great as she thought and attempts to run back to her college boyfriend,which has moved on. The one part of her equation she never really counted on.

The movie isn’t great, it attempts to teach a bunch of lessons about life and fails at all of them. It also fails at being truly entertaining. This isn’t to say it was a bad movie, it wasn’t. It was just a movie really. I didn’t have any feelings for it at all,which might be the worst thing to have happen. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Things Heard & Seen (2021)

Things Heard and Seen starring Amanda Seyfried (Cathrine Claire) and James Norton (George Claire) is a Netflix Horror/Mystery that honestly did not do well with critics, or fans for that matter. I can see why, the story from the start seemed to struggle to understand what it wanted to be.

We start with a family moving from the big city to a small town when George gets a new job at a prestigious school. He isn’t a very spiritual person, unlike Cathrine and the rest of the town who seems to believe in spirits. This is good because their house is haunted, but Cathrine thinks the ghosts aren’t bad or evil.

The movie quickly goes from being a horror movie to really more of a mystery drama as the marriage quickly devolves into George keeping all sorts of secrets from Cathrine, such as the house they got such a great deal on was the site of a brutal murder-suicide. The spirit in the home is trying to protect Cathrine from what it views as a horrible husband.

Honestly from the bit I have told you, you can probably guess the rest of the movie. I won’t spoil it for you obviously but as much as I enjoy Amanda Seyfrieds work this isn’t one of her better movies. This isn’t a slight on the acting in this movie, in fact, the chemistry between them made the movie worth watching. What should have been a terrible movie turned into a decent movie just because of Amanda and James. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

1.1 Update For Uncle Chop’s Rocket Shop Introduces New Ways To Work And Play

For those of you who remember my review of Uncle Chop’s Rocket Shop Review (Steam) and decided to give it a go, the new 1.1 update is out and features some new ways to play the game, below are some of the details and the trailer. Best wishes, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

The update introduces seven brand-new vending machines and five powerful omen upgrades, giving players even more ways to customise a run. Working with the existing Frantic (timed) and Focused (untimed) game modes, these new additions offer different ways to get s**t done! 

The new vending machines provide valuable buffs, from increasing job earnings to boosting the likelihood of attracting customers from a specific faction, while the new omen upgrades deliver game-changing advantages – like the ability to survive a fatal job – ensuring every run feels fresh and rewarding.

In addition to the new upgrades, the update brings a host of quality-of-life improvements and bug fixes, ensuring a smoother and more enjoyable repair journey.

Cabin Crew Life Simulator Early Access (Steam Review)

Some of you may have noticed I seem to have hit a sort of simulator era in life. I didn’t plan this, but people seem to want me to play them lately. I first heard of Cabin Crew Life Simulator sometime in 2024, and Soga Studio was kind enough to send me a copy.

The game starts off simple: design yourself a flight attendant, pick an outfit, and go to the airport for work. There is hidden option number two, however. test what the game will let you do, and send her to work in her underwear. I figured the game would not allow this, I was wrong.

So after I sent Matty to the airport in a cute black bra and panty number, she had to go through security. Not a single person seems to notice her lack of clothing. This isn’t a joke, that’s how she is dressed and they do make you go through security. This is a simulator after all.

I then start getting the plane ready for take off. I check to make sure the safety equipment is ready, and I have water and tissues ready for the flight. You start working on small aircraft so there isn’t a lot. This helps you earn money for new clothes, that I quickly use to actually dress my flight attendant. Nobody seems to care she has no clothes on, but I didn’t expect the game to allow this level of freedom.

Bigger Planes let you serve Coffee, tea, and real food

The game itself functions pretty well, I didn’t run into any sort of game-breaking bugs. That isn’t to say bugs don’t exist, there are some there. I have seen people walk through chairs and walls on occasion. These seem to have been worked out even since I got the game and before I wrote this, however, your help from other crew members seems to be non-existent, I really don’t know why they exist.

The game also seems to just abruptly end after 5 or 6 flights with no endless mode as of yet. That is coming in a future update, it just isn’t here yet. That being said, The game still has 10-15 hours of gameplay in it as of right now and it costs $13 so there is some value there for what you pay. The Steam reviews are mostly positive for a good reason. It is a 7/10 experience with some great potential. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Trolls Vs Vikings Reborn (Steam)

Trolls Vs Vikings Reborn was sent to me by the fine folks at Megapop. I have to say, I wasn’t sure what to expect besides it being similar to Plants vs Zombies and honestly, that is exactly how this place. You set a miner up to dig up rocks that act as food so you can feed more trolls. They all do something different, my favorite lets you move him back and forth as he punches Vikings.

The story itself isn’t bad, A mysterious figure convinces the Vikings that the trolls have gold lying around and they will be rich if they come over and take it. Vikings being what they are, invade. A little troll girl overhears the conversation and warns them. This results in the Trolls having time to meet the Vikings for battle, which looks like a yard.

Now this would be fine, plenty of games follow a similar formula as other games, but the formula needs to work and work well. Happily Trolls vs Zombies Reborn is a 6 dollar game, which while more expensive than Plants vs Zombies, is a new experience that plays just as well. It is a 7/10 experience for me. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Fisherman

Grief is a terrible thing everyone needs to overcome in their lives. For widower, Abe, fishing is his great release. After losing his wife, fishing helped him get his life back on track. When his coworker, Dan, goes through an unimaginable tragedy, Abe extends a hand of friendship and offers to fish with him. While a quiet friendship blooms between the widowed men, Abe can’t help but see Dan drowning in despair…until they stop for breakfast on a rainy morning, going towards a spot Abe never heard of that Dan seems all too eager to fish at. Almost obsessively so. During this breakfast, they are treated to a folktale of the river, dark magic, the impossible, and Der Fischer who may have opened the gates between life and death. Desperately the men are on a course that might not just cost them their lives, but also their souls as Dan is willing to sacrifice it all for what he lost? Will Abe make the same choice?

So immediately when reading this I thought of a more Lovecraftian take on Pet Sematary . In many ways, I can see it but Langan weaves a pretty solid story telling the folktale of Der Fischer in between the main story. His writing story is very easy to get into and flowed very smoothly to me. Some will get put off by the story within a story aspect of the novel but he neatly pulls it off and neither story feels overstayed. I like his depictions of Dan’s rising mania and Abe’s internal battle against the abominations they face. I found myself wanting to know more about what Der Fischer unleashed and got to see more horrors from the other world. In the end, if you liked Pet Sematary and wished there was Lovecraft in it or wanted to get into cosmic horror but wanted something more modern, the Fisherman is a quick, well-written read I’d recommend. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Mary: An Awakening of Terror

Mary is a nobody in every sense of the word. Banking on the dreaded 5-0 and wading into menopause, alone in the world except for her “loved ones” (tiny little porcelain figurines she talks to, her life turns upside down once she loses her job. A job that barely pays her enough to get by as is. A sliver lining comes when her loathsome, dying aunt Nadine calls begging for help. After pissing off Mary’s cousin, Nadine is alone and unable to care for herself. Mary is soon left to journey from New York to the eerie desert town where she grew up. Returning home resurfaces not only her repressed hatred for her crass, despicable aunt by the layers of trauma she spent her life hiding as well as what might be the secrets of the town itself? With bodies piling up, visions playing Mary, and an obsession with a hospital that had been converted from an infamous serial killer’s home, the question becomes who and what is Mary?

So I read this book for my book club, going in completely fresh. I knew nothing about the book or author and was even kind of surprised it came out in 2022. As someone who sucks at socializing, suffers from a host of mental health issues, and is just awkward as hell, I felt for Mary. I found her to almost be an updated Carrie, someone shy, frumpy and pathetically beaten down who just wanted to matter. This story takes a lot of crazy ass turns from being a ghost story, to a psychological thriller, to some bizarre Midsommar levels of WTF. The book deserves to be experienced because it is fun as hell trying to figure out where its going. However fun that particular aspect is, it causes some issues towards the end. A character I hated got a half-assed redemption and the ultimate conclusion, while being fun and over-the-top gory, didn’t really satisfy me. The ending couple of chapters felt unnecessarily open-ended, but given how weird of a ride this story was, I can’t tell you if a sequel would work.

In the end, I enjoyed this book a lot but I didn’t love it. It’s very well written and really engaging but the ending as well as some plot choices fumble it from being great. Absolutely a good read worth checking out if you want a weirder kind of horror book. May the gaming gods bring you glory.

Graduation Day (1981)

Graduation Day is a movie about a track star from Midvale High School who dies during the school year, and when her sister comes home to receive an award she won, a deranged killer suddenly starts killing everyone that was on the team. Apparently, someone isn’t so happy that they won and plans on honoring this young lady’s death.

The movie has exactly what you would expect from a 1980s slasher movie, boobs, cheesy death scenes, a teacher that is very inappropriate with students, and a blatant killer who isn’t the killer, and a huge tirade I want to go off on but I refuse to spoil a movie even if it is closing in on 50 years old. I want to make this even more weird, check out the following picture.

One of these women is Vana White

That is not a joke, one of those women is, one of those women is a young Vana White before she became famous as the woman turning letters on Wheel of Fortune ( she also failed to get out of contestant row in a 1972 episode of The Price is Right as one of the first 4 people) See, I teach as well as entertain.

Back to the movie, as a horror movie in the 80’s it is the right kind of bad. We have the cheesy death scenes, the needless nudity that is done tastefully but tasteless at the same time that we all enjoy but know the horror genre is better off without, and most importantly it is entertaining. I had fun watching it and that is all I ask for. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Also because it was the 80s, do not watch the trailer below if you have a seizure disorder of any kind.

Blow It Up (PS5 Review)

Blow It Up is a physics destruction game sent to me by Brain Seal. Anyone familiar with the Angry Birds craze will instantly know how to play this game and what it is about. You aim, fire, knock over a structure, and kill some aliens.

There are 7 different, let us call them people, to throw at these structures all with different abilities. Some will simply move faster others explode or act as a bombers and just drop bombs in a row. They are easy and quick to unlock.

The game admittedly does not look the best, but for what they are going for and it being a budget title I don’t think it is fair to expect it to. Graphically it looks as good as it needs to. The sound is also solid, with explosions being satisfying and walls crashing down feeling like they have some weight to them.

My only real gripe was occasionally if you want to restart a mission you failed to succeed I did experience a couple of crashes and freezes, this was easily avoided tho by being careful when you pause.

The game is simple, and kind of short, it is also only about $8 so realistically the real question is, is it worth that price point? It has around 70 levels which is more than enough to keep you occupied for a few hours trying to collect gold trophies on all of them, there are gold coins to collect as well. The platinum is pretty simple so for hunters that will be an incentive. All in all, it is an 8/10 game. I had fun with it, it did a great job capturing that angry bids feel without completely ripping off the game. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.