Dead House (2014)

I put off watching Dead House for what seems like forever because it just seemed like a silly movie. Thieves break into a house only to discover hidden in the basement is a house of the dead. A silly but fun movie it seemed like admittedly.

I was so damn wrong and should have avoided this damn movie for longer. First, the thieves are essentially demented rapist that film it and stop to steal money from a safe for about 10 seconds to move the plot along. It is pretty graphic, so if you are easily upset or bothered by such things don’t watch it and definitely not around children.

The zombie portion doesn’t even show up until the last 20 minutes or so and even that seemed to be there for no other reason than to give us a twist ending and some shock value. Truthfully everything done in this movie is done somewhere else and it is done better. The movie has no real redeeming qualities outside of the acting being pretty well done on all parts. If you are morbidly curious feel free to give it a watch, aside from that skip this burning heap. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Cooties (2014)

Cooties is a 2014 horror-comedy about a school and some teachers that have to deal with Cooties, which are basically zombies. Sort of. You see this started with some chicken nuggets that made a little girl sick. She, in turn, bit another kid who bit another. This keeps going until everyone has cooties. Why is it called cooties? Well, it only turns people that haven’t hit puberty yet.

The movie is actually pretty funny to me, but admittedly many people won’t like it for one very big reason. All the zombies are kids, which means all the adults are beating kids to death. You will later discover in the movie it is a worldwide thing since of course, it is a huge chicken nugget factory.

None of this bothered me of course since it is just a movie and a comedy, and the love story in there wasn’t front and center but just kind of tacked on in a fun way. This is pretty much a B movie with some real celebrities in it which I am ok with it. Go check this one out on Hulu, but just know it isn’t a great movie it is just silly and tasteless. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Day 5, Zombies

Look, we all knew certain things would show up on this list. Zombies obviously be here. They are classic, shuffling dead beings that number in the hundreds or even millions. That is what makes them so terrifying. How do you escape or defeat something that essentially is an ocean of the dead coming for you that knows no fear, no pain, and no exhaustion.

Also, because I legally can, have what might be the most classic zombie movie of all time.

Seriously, its public domain, if you haven’t seen it sit here and give it a watch. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Day 2, Banshee

Banshees are from Irish Folklore and despite popular belief isn’t actually evil. They don’t cause death or kill people, they warn of impending death to family and loved ones. She is still quite terrifying however and it is said she takes on many forms from a beautiful woman wearing a shroud to a headless woman that is topless and carrying a bowl of blood.

The wail, however, seems to be universally scary as hell. I have included some other pics for your enjoyment, best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

IT Chapter Two (Review)

This one is hard for me to review. Any long-time followers know I loved the first chapter. It was one of my favorite movies of 2017. Which is why it pains me to say Chapter 2 is a huge disappointment to me. There was no reason this thing should have been almost three hours long.

It started out so strong is the worst part. One of the biggest things I disliked about the original was how long it took to introduce everyone as adults. This time around they got it right, it took much less time an got us right to the point. The group regathers and we get down to business.

This is at least what you would think. This is when we spend what feels like hours in flashbacks as they collect tokens for the ritual they will use to defeat this evil entity. It doesn’t stop there, unlike most of the scares in the first one, this is almost all jump scares, and mostly not even good ones. You could see them coming a mile away, even the woman next to me that screamed easily at first was laughing halfway through the movie. Yes, the movie was more funny than scary for many of us in the theater.

There was also like a 5 second musical part that was really out of place. Seriously, a monster spews black stuff into a guys face, pop music kicks in, stops and that is the end of it.

The movie wasn’t all bad by the way, the laughs were good and I enjoyed the special effects. The casting was also possibly the best I have seen in a movie in years. The adults were damn near perfect for each of the children and they even really come across as old friends coming back together.

The biggest issue tho is the pacing is all off, it never should have been so long. A ton of the movie was unnecessary. I won’t mention the ending because I don’t want to spoil that, but I hated that as well. This is one you should wait for Netflix or Redbox, Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Ready or Not (2019)

Ready or Not is the story of Grace (Samara Weaving) marrying the love of her life. Alex Le Domas. (Mark O’Brien) The Le Domas family, however, is the proud owners of a gaming dynasty. It started with a card game made during the civil war and now spans board games and four major league sports teams.

After a beautiful wedding the estranged from his family Alex drops a small detail he never mentioned before. At midnight the day of the wedding, the person entering the family will have to draw one card, and play the game on that card. For example, the man that married a cousin has to play old maid and someone else had to play chess. The rules are always played the way they were traditionally back in the old days of the civil war. This is important for one small reason.

The card our new friend Alex draws is Hide and Seek. So all the doors will be locked for the night, the security cameras shut off and she will hide. She wins by staying hidden until the sun comes up. Of course, she has no interest in hiding that long. Who would? So after she gets bored with hiding and Alex comes to find her and is when she finds out that the game is played because if you don’t pick a card at all you die, and Grace picked the only bad card possible. Hide and seek is the only game nobody wins and it is to the death of the bride or groom.

The movie, however, was not what I expected. From the previews, I saw I was expecting a more thriller-horror style movie and truthfully it is more of a thriller comedy. This isn’t a bad thing, it was just very unexpected to me. The movie was actually really well done and had some great laughs in it. There was never a time I was bored or wondering what was going on. I also appreciated that the story was straight to the point. We got straight to the story and while they were at it they managed to give you all the back story you needed which I feel never happens enough.

The movie is far from perfect obviously but it is a surprisingly fun movie, possibly the most surprising movie of the summer for me. So check this one out when you get the chance. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

The Blackcoat’s Daughter (2015)

The Blackcoat’s Daughter is a 2015 horror movie about two girls stuck over a holiday at an all-girls Catholic school with something dark and sinister. The movie starts with two girls finding out their parents aren’t going to show up. One because they are stuck in a storm, the other because she lied to her parents about what day to be there.

The movie after that jumps between the 2 girls at school and Joan, a girl traveling alone with a husband and wife that are making their way towards Bradford, where the school is, to leave flowers at the grave of their deceased daughter.

The movie is less interesting than it sounds. It takes forever to get going and even when it does it is never all that interesting to me. The ending also felt like it was tacked on and my girlfriend and I saw it coming around halfway through the movie. There wasn’t anything wrong with the acting or the effects or any of that. I personally just didn’t like the story. By all means, give it a watch, I can’t really say there was anything inherently wrong with it, I just didn’t enjoy it. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

3 From Hell (2019)

3 From Hell is the Sequel to The Devils Reject’s and picks up right where that movie left off. The opening is about the trial that takes place about a year after these three miraculously survive and is sentenced to life in prison for multiple counts of murder and numerous other things.

After this, we get bounced to 10 years into the future so we can see a documentary being made. We see how they are all doing, Captain Spaulding has lost a lot of weight for example and Baby is quite honestly frigging nuts, like totally off the deep end insane. Otis, however, is still just Otis.

Speaking of Otis, we need someone to escape to get this movie going and he will be the one to do it. After he murders a bunch of guards and other prisoners the plot to try and free Baby will come into full swing. Baby meanwhile has her own issues with a prison guard named Greta. It is safe to say the two don’t get along. Baby breaks her nose at her parole hearing and Greta tries to have Baby murdered.

This movie is getting pretty mixed reviews and honestly, I don’t see why. The story is solid and the acting is great. Baby nails her role perfectly and Otis is fantastic. I don’t want to give to much away about the story because there are a few bits I didn’t see coming and having seen it as a double feature with The Devil’s Reject made me remember how much I enjoyed the series as a whole. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

St. Agatha (2018)

This is another one of those movies I regret watching. Mary who is pregnant runs away to a convent for help in the 1950s. These nuns, however, are psychotic. They are abusive, fanatical and even worse, those aren’t their worst traits.

The movie is also about an hour and 25 minutes of pure boredom followed by 20 minutes of an interesting horror movie. Aside from that, it is just a long slow ride to find out pretty much exactly what you suspected the entire time anyway. There aren’t any real twist and turns or surprises to be found here.

That isn’t to say the movie is purely bad. The acting is well done and as far as period pieces go it was well done, even the telephone they show looks like it was ripped right out of the time period. The problem is the story itself is just honestly, not fun to watch.

After all this tho I can honestly say I won’t deter you guys from watching the movie. This is one of those films I feel like just because I don’t like it doesn’t mean you guys won’t. So give it a shot, and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

1st Summoning (2018)

1st summoning is a movie about a group of filmmakers investigating a town and the rumors that if on October 6th at exactly midnight if you perform a specific ritual you can get an answer to any question you want, for a price. So they pack their gear, hop in their camper and drive there, interview some town members and a priest and head to the warehouse.

The issue is, the movie sucked. There is no nice way of saying it. The movie struggled between trying to be a sort of mockumentary and a legitimate movie about them making one.  The characters themselves make no damn sense, the priest is creepy as hell and sets the plot up nicely but then he is just gone. The one female character is basically made out to be kind of a slut because she dated two of the 3 guys in the group. She constantly disagrees with the idiotic ideas they have, only to do it herself anyway.

The movie is also boring for 90% only to get exciting at the very end, and then never be explained how or why things happened. There is also a necklace that again, never explained in any capacity. There may or may not be a demonic element, or it could just be human interference. You are just left to figure it out with no real info and for no real reasoning. I was actually glad this movie ended. There is no real reason to watch this, Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.