Trick r Treat

trick r treat

It’s the season friends, and we got a request to talk about the second best Halloween based horror film out there, so thanks for the request. A decade ago, I remember seeing trailers for it randomly popping up on random horror movies I’d rent from BlockBuster and not knowing what to think. It looked like a strange, modern day throwback to Creepshow and I was sorta right but totally wrong.

Trick r Treat is a anthology film about the weird shit going on in a neighborhood during Halloween night as Samhein or Sam walks among them. The first story revolves around a murderous middle school principle, the second story is about a group of kids who visit a haunted rock quarry where a bunch of disturbed kids were killed, the third story is a different version of Little Red Riding Hood where a young virgin is being stalked by a madman, and the fourth and last story is about a old grouch who gets a special visit from Sam, the spirit of Halloween himself. All of these stories are connected really well and the characters brilliantly intertwine between stories at time. I really, really, really don’t want to drop spoilers on this one because this movie is awesome and it’s a joy to watch. There’s an interesting blend of horror sub-genres at play and dark comedy. Sam is adorable but also has a menacing presence; he quickly joined my favorites list. I really liked how the movie has a comic book feel to it, kinda like a modern day Tales from the Crypt or Creepshow. I absolutely love Trick r Treat and definitely I recommend it to people who want something different this Halloween. Thank you all and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

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Mercy (2014)

This movie was a bit odd. Not truly bad or good, just odd. Essentially a family moves to help take care of their elderly grandmother. Seems pretty easy. Mom is obviously worried oldest son hates it youngest kid was closest to grandmother. Which is probably why he was easy to convince to stop giving her the medicine that kept her docile.

The problem is grandma wasn’t so much dying and needing medicine to keep her calm as she was being drugged. Why was she being drugged? Well there is some back story to that.

Grandma in her younger days was a good god fearing Christian. Even helped build a church and was great friends with the local Priest. Unfortunately after numerous miscarriages she got heavily into necromancy. And each time she used it she lost something starting with her husband than pieces of herself.

There is a lot going on in this movie but honestly I must advise you skip this one. While the movie is well put together and the story does make sense its just isn’t interesting really. It is simply the story of a woman that sold her soul and attempts to steal the body of her grandson except instead of using the devil they are using necromancy. Watch it at your own risk, best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Saw 3-D: The Final Chapter

saw7

Ok, elephant out of the room, the title is a bullshit lie because this Halloween we get Saw 8. I know I said I gave up on Saw and for all intents and purposes I did. So why did I go see Saw 7 in theaters with no one in there but me? Because I had to know how full of shit the “Final Chapter” promise was this time.

So Jill is trying to hide and cover her ass from a scarred and pissed off Hoffman. Hoffman goes on a killing spree, killing the feds trying to catch him. Meanwhile, we finally get a answer to the series biggest question- what the hell happened to Dr. Gordon? Well, we learn there’s a support group for the survivors of Jigsaw and Gordon emerges among them.  Bobby Dagen is the spokesman for this group, a motivational speaker who claims to have survived Jigsaw. Well, he’s full of shit. And here we get the final gauntlet of gore and bullshit…in 3D. Ok I’m going to spoil this: Gordon made a cult out of the survivors who leave Hoffman chained up and alone to die like Gordon was supposed to.

This movie is the epitome of a stereotypical Saw movie: it’s gory, pretends to clever and complex but just is convoluted and pointless but somehow enjoyable. A part of it comes from the whacky 3-D moments. Overall, if you sat through the rest, sit through this because for me and the Saw series, Game Over.

 

13 demons (2016)

Ever play Dungeons and Dragons? Ever try it on a bad acid trip? Well I have not done either of those things, but I imagine doing that is how this movie came into creation. And I would like to thank the crazy bastard that did it.

Seriously this movie is weird but in a fun way. Three friends discover a board game that someone (they never really go into detail on who) banned years ago. Why? People playing it got really into it and killed people.

It starts off innocent enough. The three friends place their pieces, read from a book and roll their dice and move their little figures. There is nothing all that weird at this point.

The three seem to fall asleep, have some weird dreams and wake up a little confused at the game board. After a few moments get their bearings and go back to playing. Now as the game goes on they start seeming to hallucinate. A little further in and not only are they hallucinating they are leaving the apartment dressing up with pots and pans and make shift armor and killing people, tho admittedly they believe they are killing demons and wearing actual armor with real mystical weapons.

As the movie goes on you see one of the three die in a fight with a guy at a garage. But that isn’t weird its expected. The odd part is later they start using powers to roll the dice and move the pieces. The book they once read from is now gone entirely and they speak as if they are new people unaware of anything else but their quest.

After they kill 12 “demons” each they have a 13th demon to kill. Each other. Small problem tho, the cops have caught them and they are now locked in separate interrogation rooms. I won’t ruin this closing scene on you but this alone was worth watching for me. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

Blade Runner 2049 Movie Review

Blade Runner 2049 Review First, let it be said that I am a huge Philip K. Dick fan. That wily wordsmith with his mind-bending perspective on the world of tomorrow told some of the most influential science fiction tales of all-time. We need go no further than Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep the source…

via Blade Runner 2049 [Movie Review] — One Lazy Robot

Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever (2009)

Picking up where the first Cabin Fever left off with Shawn Hunter..ok the guy who played him playing someone else, getting hit by a school bus. The worlds worst cop returns to brag about the time a moose got hit by a car and ended up in a lady’s front seat and swears up and down the bus hit a moose not a person.

Yea that is basically how this movie is going to go. From here the movie basically turns into the usual high school drama movie except one of the students is also a stripper. Who also in the worlds weirdest revenge plot gives a nerd a blow job in the school bathroom…maybe not quite the usual high school drama stuff.

As prom night gets closer the worlds worst cop starts to figure out that maybe the illness is spreading and tracks down a water truck shipment.

Honestly I am going to skip ahead. As entertaining as the movie is at times most of the details are pretty par for the course. Nothing is all that new until prom, so lets go there.

Here we are. Prom night. After a small fight it turn out some group I can only assume is the CDC shows up with guns, locks the doors and begins to toss in tear gas and begins to kill every living person they can find. As our main characters try to escape more and more people are killed.

The end of this movie is an actual blood bath. There is blood and death everywhere. And of course 1 person once again escapes. I can’t say the movie is good, but it is fun. Best wishes and may the gaming gods bring you glory.

It comes at night

it comes at night

It comes at night was a strange instance where the trailer was misleading as hell but the poster kinda tells you more than any trailer did. The trailers made me think I was going to get something like a zombie movie or maybe a tripped out torture flick, but if I had to categorize it, I’d say it’s kinda like the Shining on Meth.

The story centers around a interracial family of father Paul, wife Sarah, and 17 year old son Travis living in their house in the woods after some kind of viral outbreak occurred. We never learn what the virus does, where it comes from, how it spreads, or even the magnitude of the outbreak. All we really know it’s highly contagious and you get purplish-gray welts and get really pale. Paul and Travis take Sarah’s father outside after he contracts the disease and execute him, burning his body after. Later that night, there’s an intruder. Paul wounds him, and takes him into the woods to interrogate him. After a tense discussion and questioning, we discover the man’s name is Will and he wanted food and supplies for his starving family, wife Kim and young son Andrew. These families join together and for a while live in harmony, but tensions begin to build as they cling to themselves and there fears beyond the red door…

I’ve seen the reviews, more scatter-fucked than shotgun pellets flying off of a tilt-a-whirl. Some love this movie, some hate it. I loved it but I really wouldn’t debate anyone who said it sucked. Joel Edgerton gave a great performance as Paul, and the chemistry between everyone is fluid and genuine. I love how quiet, and isolated it is; I absolutely love the ambiguity and the tense fear that escalates from isolation and paranoia. Seriously, don’t watch the trailers. Overall, I loved this movie but I only recommend it if you enjoy slow, suspense driven films; stay away if you’re looking for a action packed gorefest. As always thank you and may the gaming gods bring you glory.